How do you handle the situation where your kids are playing with your friend's kids and your friends kids are either being mean to or totally excluding your child from play? Your friend was not around to see it happen, thus doesn't know. Ages: 3-7.
Do you let it go until it happens with her around? Do you talk to her about it? How do you handle that conversation?
grapefruit / 4321 posts
I would, in nicer language, tell my friend's kid to stop being an ass. My friends and I are all close enough that we do not hesitate to parents each other's children, and we expect it from each other. I wouldn't say anything to my friend unless something really extreme happened that I felt like my friend needed to know (like a violent episode, or something where my friend's kid was acting way out of character and might be sick, etc), otherwise, telling my friend would just serve to make her feel bad.
persimmon / 1483 posts
In the moment, I would speak to the kids directly. If it was a habitual thing and not a one off, I would bring it up to my friend along the lines of "it looks like A and B are having a hard time getting alone..." as a way to open the conversation.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
3-7 is a wide age range, I wouldn't expect a group of 7 year olds to play with a 3 year old. I have noticed that a single older child will play with a younger child, but if there are other kids of that child's age, they will exclude the younger kids. Is that what is happening?
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
My kid is younger, as are her friends (2.5 yo). So it's par for the course that they act like little brats occasionally. I will bring it up with my friend but in a way like, of C and A were at it again today (eye roll). So far it's mostly equal interns of being mean or whatever so I don't worry. It's different if one is just being mean to the other.
pomegranate / 3314 posts
I would probably (nicely) intervene with the kids first before I spoke to the mom.
grapefruit / 4663 posts
Agreed, I parent the kid unless the parent is sitting there. We are all used to each other switching off.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
Same as PPs, I have no problem parenting my friends' kids when they're not around; and expect the same of my friends with my kids!
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