Like if a BFF tells you a secret, do you automatically tell SO?
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Pretty much. I tell people straight up that by telling me a secret, you're also telling my DH. We talk about everything. I make the assumption that when I tell people things, their SOs know about it too.
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nope not always. he doesn't care to know everything. but it's pretty much understood with my BFFs that telling each other is telling our SOs as well. it's just our personal discretion on if we want to share. etc.
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Pretty much. There are certain things I know DH just wouldn't care about so I don't tell him. There are also certain non-harmful serious things that my BFF has told me that I have kept secret for her. Things that make me LOOOOL but embarrass her to no end. (and vice versa)
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No. There are things that my parents have told me that they wouldn't appreciate if I told my DH.
I also think the other way around that if I told a friend something in strict confidence I wouldn't be happy thinking they would tell their OH straight away.
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Mostly. Some stuff he just doesn't hold interest in so I don't tell him.
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Pretty much. Although Hubs doesn't care about a lot of things, so if I know it'll just bore him, I don't bother, haha. But my BFF and I have talked about how all our secrets are shared with each other's SOs, so we just assume that if we tell each other something, their SO will know it too!
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Not always. If a friend tells me something in confidence, I don't tell him.
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Most of the time, I share with him. If someone specifically asks me to keep it just to myself, and it doesn't affect him or our relationship at all, I will definitely respect their wishes.
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Pretty much. I won't tell him that I bought Starbucks this morning, though
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Not always, sometimes it's a women to women thing, and I think those don't need to be shared.
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i tell him 98% of everything. most of my friends assume telling me a secret includes DH knowing and vice versa - if they told me not to even tell DH, I wouldn't.
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Yes, I would say 99.9% of the time.
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@Bookish: LOL I have kept the occasional Starbucks secret, myself
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Not always. He really doesn't care and I value my friendships so I keep my trap shut
I think it's shitty that if I tell my girlfriend something secret/personal, I have to assume she'll blab to her husband. But most of my big secrets are woman stuff, so I really hope she's not telling her husband all about my vagina
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Nope - he doesn't need to know everything I know
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Not always.
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@blackbird: I agree vagina and sex talk stays between us ladies. Some things I don't need to tell DH.
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I also don't tell my husband when I buy baby wraps. My PP account is my secret money
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@Smurfette: Totally. Sex & Vajaja talk is a no go. and my husband REALLY doesn't care about what goes on in my friends bedrooms/panties.
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Nope. If a friend asks me specifically to keep something a secret, I won't tell my husband - just like I wouldn't want my friends to tell their spouses if I told them something in confidence.
Also, my husband couldn't care less most of the time.
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@Smurfette: @blackbird: I agree. I value the friendships I have, and just because DH and I are married doesn't mean that we need to share a brain, too. I think the disclaimer *if you're telling me you're telling my hubs too* is a lame cop out.
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Depends...for the most part there's an understanding things are shared with SO's. However, there are things I use my discretion on and don't share for a variety of reasons. If they ask that something not be shared, I'm a steel trap.
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@grizz: what PP account . . . ? *wink* *nudge*
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@pui: exactly.
Everyone that knows us knows that if you tell one something it means the other knows. If we were explicitly asked to not share that we will honor their wishes.
I'm not saying I immediately run and tell my husband everything that someone tells me! But if I know there's a good chance my husband will know. That's just the way our relationship works.
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Pretty much. It's understood between us and our friends who are married or in serious relationships - if one knows, assume the other does, too. The only times I don't is if I'm specifically asked not to repeat something, if I forget, or if it would just bore DH.
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Yup! If I don't think he cares, then I don't share, but if we talk about something regarding that topic, it might come up then.
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Yep, I always feel like I can't keep anything from him or I'll burst!
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Nope. I value my friends a lot, if they tell me a secret I won't risk damaging that friendship by telling DH. He's very much of the mindset that if they want him to know, they'll tell him, otherwise it's none of his business.
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Nope.
Like my friend from a while back who had an affair? He doesn't need to know that and form half-baked opinions about a woman he barely knows. It isn't fair to her and besides, a confidence is a confidence. -
Pretty much. But if someone asks me not to share it with my husband, I will honor their wishes.
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For the most part yes. I don't run straight to him with every gory detail and occasionally I fail to mention that I bought us each a cookie at the bakery and then ate both... But for the most part I tell him everything. If someone asked me not to I wouldn't and if it is a situation where it gets awkward due to us being friends with a couple I will probably not tell him.
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@MsLipGloss: @blackbird: 100% agree with both of you!
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32 comments