Do you ever think having a LO might not be worth everything you're going through? I'll admit to having those thoughts on occasion. There's just so much time and money spent, plus the physical pain of some treatments and the emotional roller coaster.
I think one day, once this is all behind me, I will look back and say that it was worth it 100%. I'll try to keep the doubts away in the mean time.
grapefruit / 4703 posts
Yes, lately I've been having these thoughts... Like I'm going through all these treatments and stress and disappointments just to upend my life and deprive myself of sleep and my carefree lifestyle (of course I know there's way more to parenthood than that). I also think part of it is trying to convince myself that I'll be ok if we aren't ever parents.
pomegranate / 3533 posts
I have just recently ventured down this path! And generally I think it will be worth it (it's an article of faith)...but it sure isn't an easy *rational* decision in a lot of ways. It actually kind of breaks my heart, because 3 years ago, when we started, DH and I were so ready for this and energetic. IF and miscarriages give you way too much time to introspect and question EVERYTHING. 
BTW-- if you have some time to read, I just started a really fascinating book "All Joy and No Fun" that goes into some of the challenges of modern parenthood and the decision to become parents!
coffee bean / 33 posts
Yes! I´ve recently started having these thoughts. Maybe it´s best if we don´t have a baby...think of all the time, sleep, travel and fun DH and I can have...but who am I kidding? I´m still dying to have a baby.
persimmon / 1404 posts
Yes. I have these thoughts a lot, even more lately. When I'm around people with kids I find myself thinking how I don't even want to do that anymore. I'm really starting to believe that we will be ok if we don't become parents, but who knows!
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
Right now, in the middle of IVF, I wonder if we are going to have trouble raising our LOs because of how much we spent to conceive them. I see people struggling financially with their LO and they paid nothing compared to what we spent. So financially, I wonder if it's worth it. Right now, emotionally, I'm willing to do anything but I'm afraid of reality of it.
honeydew / 7230 posts
@Leialou: @Shutterbug: @FliegepilzHut: @alohaorchid: @bluestriped bee: Love to all of you ladies. 
I am so hopeful that all of you will become moms one way or another, as soon as possible! 
I questioned if it would be worth it. I questioned EVERYHING. Infertility is such a mind fuck (sorry for the language, but there's no other way to describe it). For me personally it was worth every second of feeling heartbreak and bitterness and jealousy and anger, and totally worth every penny spent.
grapefruit / 4703 posts
@twodoghouse: I gotta say, (on IG) you totally make it seem fantastic and worth it! Your twins are so precious and you seem like such a natural. I do hope I get to experience it one day, even though right now I feel like I've pretty much quit (for now, at least).
grapefruit / 4028 posts
I'm just setting out on my infertility journey, and I'm already overwhelmed. There is just SO MUCH and it's SO EXPENSIVE. I'm really hoping it's all worth it, but for right now I just want to throw a 2 year old style tantrum.
bananas / 9229 posts
I guess I'm in the minority. I knew that regardless of what it took to get there, it would 100% be worth it in the end!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
@twodoghouse: I think you give a lot of us hope.
persimmon / 1483 posts
Yes, in the thick of it, I definitely wondered if it was worth it. Now, I wouldn't change a thing (as crazy as that sounds) because it was that specify journey that lead to my daughter. If it had gone any other way, I would have a different baby, a wonderful baby I'm sure, but I wouldn't have her. And I literally cannot imagine my life without her.
Hugs to all of you that are in the trenches. The only way out is through as they say.
grapefruit / 4110 posts
It truly depends on what the definition of worth it to you is. I think when my husband and I started in this journey we could have gone either way. We said one try and if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be. Was it worth the money, yes but all the other things it could have made easier if we weren't stuck with such a. Financial burden. Seriously he is the cost of a down deposit. College fund no way kid your lucky you exist. I spent your college fund to make you. My boss at the time was horrible and I definitely was discriminated against. Was it worth it? 4 years later as a teacher absolutely. At the time it was devastating.
I have a friend who doesn't want kids ever. She's married and they are well off. They do things that I can't dream of doing. But I don't know that I would do those things if I didn't have kids.
When we go through if it becomes a part of our identity that is all consuming at the time. IF never goes away even when you have a baby. It just gets new identities added to it.
My sister has 4 kids and she got pregnant very easily. She had the parent identity with the infertility. Two of her kids have cancer and now that is an all consuming part of her identity. I am sure she will tell you that even with that it is all worth it.
That is not to say that not having kids isn't worth it because a friend of my mine is childless by choice and she has a lot of fun. Totally worth it to her.
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
I wonder about this all the time. Since we already have a LO, I sometimes think I should just be grateful with what I have and stop there. I have been talking about this a lot with DH. Most of me knows that it will be worth it and I want to continue on. But a small part of me says we should stop and that it just wasn't meant to be.
pomegranate / 3533 posts
@twodoghouse: I you! I wasn't able to acknowledge the doubts until just recently...but I think it's important to do that, too. I told DH recently "I'm/we're going to add some extra chaos to our lives, one way or the other!" I just sincerely hope it happens soon!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
I have met and talked with so many woman who have struggled with IF and it is fascinating how different we all look at the struggles we faced. When we were in the middle of treatments I absolutely felt like it wasn't worth it. Not worth the money, not worth the physical and emotional pain. But I think it was because my heart was ready for adoption. Our adoption was not easy but there was never a time that I doubted it was worth it.
Now looking back even all the failed treatments were worth it because it is a part of me and my family and our story.
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