...include pictures of your kids/family in their own personal Christmas card if they send them? Just curious what the norm is here.
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no
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nope
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@coopsmama: I'm annoyed that we're included in their Christmas card at all. If I wanted to give out details of my life I would. We would have made them stop if they included pics eta - this is my inlaws. My parents don't do this
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No way.
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@gotkimchi: I'm relieved to hear you say this. I thought I was just being too sensitive here. My MIL just informed me the other night that she already bought her Christmas cards and she took photos of my kids off of my Facebook page to include. She never asked our permission. I personally don't think she needs to includes them, period, because they aren't her children and she still has 3 at home. Mostly I'm just annoyed that she did it without even asking. My parents would never - and they don't include them in their Christmas card except to note that they have three grand kids.
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Yes, they both do.
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@coopsmama: It would annoy me if they didn't ask, but both my mom and MIL asked and we took pics specifically for it. So it doesn't really bother me, but I see how it would annoy other people!
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@coopsmama: yah I would have an issue with the that and I would tell her I'm not comfortable with that. Particularly the downloading from Facebook and not asking permission
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No. My mom is old school though, she sends out plain cards, handwritten, no photos. Cards aren't done in my MIL's home country.
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It wouldn't bother me. Sometimes my mom does the Christmas Newsletter type stuff and will put in a blurb or pic of us. I don't mind. It's never personal info.
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My MIL does, which is fine. My parents don't do cards.
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Yes. They always include me/DH and then DD.
Actually, when DD was first born, my mom was so late in printing that she just put DD on their Christmas card!
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Nope. My in-laws don't send out cards, and my parents don't do photo cards.
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yup - my mom does, doesnt bother me at all.
My MIL apparently sends pictures (prints) to some relatives and my kids are included - this doesnt bother me either.
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My parents do handwritten cards but they sometimes include a print of their grandkids for friends who would like to see it. They would never do it without asking though
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Yes - my inlaws send out cards with our photos.
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My dad did the year LO was born and I thought it was so odd. He made us take photos of just him with LO and then send them to him for his christmas card. I thought it was extremely weird but we did it for him. Then he didn't even send us a card! I happened to see one hanging on my cousin's fridge. Luckily, he hasn't done it since the year she was born (although I am due with LO2 in early December so we'll see if it happens again this year).
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It would bother me that she did it without permission. Neither side sends photo cards though.
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Ha I have received several holiday cards like this and I think it's very weird. I wouldn't be thrilled if my parents or in-laws did it, but they don't send cards anyway.
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My mil tries to take a group photo when possible of all of us (her kids, spouses, grandkids and dogs) excitedly for the purpose of holiday cards so I'm fine with that. If she or my mom just swiped photos without asking I'd be livid. I understand her desire to include grandkids though, she sends cards to different people than us and bring a grandparent is an important part of her life.
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Well this year my mom got married so her holiday card has a picture of her, her new husband, and all of their children (including spouses + grandchildren). They asked all of us first though. My mom has put pictures of us on her card before this but always with permission - and typically taken for that reason.
My MIL has occasionally printed photos to include in her card - sometimes with permission but generally without. It drives me nuts because she picks incredibly unflattering pictures or pictures that were not intended to be shared outside of the family. It has greatly impacted what pictures we share with her.
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Nope
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My mom and dad had me take a photo of them with my step-daughter and son for their Christmas card. It didn't / wouldn't bother me for them to do so, although I think I'd prefer they ask so I could at least choose the photo they include.
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If they did it would be the whole family, so their kids/spouses and grandkids.
My mother does Facebook holiday update stuff and it really bothers me because she has no idea how to use Facebook and set privacy settings. I've had to have numerous talks with her about sharing photos of my children with her. I'm not at all shy about putting my foot down with her though. If she were sending a physical photo to relatives I think I'd have a lot less problem with it. Instead she just uses Facebook to send photos to her super distant cousins who she's met like once.
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My parents still include photos of my sister, me and my husband in their Christmas cards (usually a photo collage card). I assume now our son will also be on it. I don't have any problem with it and think it's sweet! My mom has never asked me, but I guess it never occurred to me that she should? Maybe because she's been sending out these Christmas photo cards since I was a kid, so it just seems normal.
ETA: My mom has never grabbed photos that I've taken, though. They're generally photos she has taken during vacations or visits. I don't think she would take a photo from my Facebook or IG without asking.
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They have but not every year.
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No. My mother writes a letter about the family but no pictures. I don't think my ILs send cards.
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My ILs are... At least in theory. The photo they are using has my head blocked and you can barely see DS. It drives me batty that they are using such an awful picture (SIL looks horrible too). We will probably be included in the note, but only in passing. The majority of the note is on her other grandchildren.
It bugs me, but I end up making a copy of the letter and fact check and copy edit it with a glass of wine. Petty, but makes me feel better.
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Yes and it annoyed me. Last year my mom sent out Xmas cards with pics of my kids and never asked. I was especially annoyed since she used a picture I used. But it's just par for the course since my mom announced the birth of our daughter on Facebook before we did!
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I'm ok with it. She put my wedding picture on her card one year and my aunt always does this with her family. If I were a grandparent I would want the option to. Still, my mom asked me first and she is not my mil so I think that is why it is different than your situation. Also if it were a bad picture of me I would definitely be bugged.
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@coopsmama: Um no. My parents would never do this, especially not take pictures off of my facebook. My ILs have never done this, but they do like to take tons of pictures of DD to send to their side of them family and not show them to me so I wouldn't put it past them... I get really peeved when they do that and I can't imagine how I would feel if they send pictures of my kid and stories about my life to people we aren't even related to!
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No
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I'd be OK with a group shot or a picture from an event, but random stolen FB photos would piss me off. I'd probably take away their FB privileges. I'm pretty upright about which pictures are available to people. I used to share pics on FB but then people were sharing them and random people were commenting so I shut my privacy settings really tight and share maybe one picture a year.
It really bugs me not knowing who has seen pictures of my kids. -
My in laws don't send cards. My parents usually send a whole family photo. The first year my daughter was around it was a picture of just her- they asked if it was okay and I was totally fine with it. We took the pictures together
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34 comments