Hellobee Boards

They don't say it, but I know they're thinking it.

Yes and my baby isn't even here yet!

Not really. Well, my Lo is so you they haven't had a chance but they haven't pulled it on my sister, even if I know they are thinking it. My mom in particular knows a lot of recommendations have changed (we all slept on our tummies as babies).

I hold the trump card

My MIL pulls this one: I raised twins. I know what I'm doing.

My parents would never. They always compliment how much we've researched all our choices. My MIL has never said it outright, but she questions everything I do so I know she's thinking it.

A little but also in an encouraging way, as in not to stress over every little thing. Like when I was stressing about getting rid of bumpers (lo was not having it!!) and my mom said she used them and it was fine. I'm sure she has said it about things we disagree on but not to make me change my mind..

Fortunately, my mom was a very you mom and I'm not really on the young side so I don't hear it. She marvels at how much things have changed since she had a baby. She will ocassionally offer up a nugget of something she did if we are struggling with something.

My parents are also a 1000 miles away so they just cherish their time in her presence and don't waste must time providing advice.

We don't have any yet, but my mom's friends are starting to have grandchildren and I hear a lot of "You will never believe what ______'s daughter/son is doing with the baby." A lot of it is stuff that I plan on doing or having relatives do to keep baby safe. Maybe hearing about it from someone else will help prepare her....

@grizz: This is pretty much exactly how it is for us too. Occasionally my mom will mention that something is different from how they did it but that she knows there's always new studies and recommendations and that I do my research, and usually when that happens I fill her in on why it's different now, and that's it - she recognizes that it changes with every generation and is proud that I do think out our choices so carefully.

But my ILs...yeah. Mine never directly tells me she disagrees either, but she does to her DIL (who, unlike me, will cave and not stick up for herself) and I know she thinks it with everything from us not giving rice cereal yet, to our plan to introduce new foods slowly in case of allergy, to not letting her use a car seat from a garage sale. Constantly hearing, "Well I did X with all of my kids." As in, "You kids had junk food all of the time and you turned out fine and healthy, just give him the Doritos. Who cares if he hasn't had his dinner yet?" Yes, that is sadly a verbatim quote from her. Sigh.