Hellobee Boards

Commiseration here, as well. Mine is a farmer, so weather makes a big difference. Yesterday, for example, he was gone from 5:30am until 10:30pm. Today he came in unexpectedly at lunch due to some rain, and then will likely be gone again late tonight. It's gotten to the point that I don't usually mind so much. I have definitely had to learn to be flexible and not get too attached to plans, because they don't always work out the way we, well, plan them to. Hope you get to spend some nice time together soon.

Ugh. I'm so sorry, that sucks! DH used to work for the government & would often get calls at the last minute that he had to go to an event, meeting or there would be some sort of emergency. He would get calls all hours of the day & sometimes it would mess up our weekend or evening plans. Irked me to no end...I hope you guys are able to spend some uninterrupted time together soon!

My DH owns a small business supplying commercial gases. He often has to change or cancel personal plans to accommodate his customers needs. He called me before our IVF and said he may be late because a nursing home was out of oxygen for their patients. YOU CAN'T BE LATE FOR IVF! Fortunately he found another way to work it out but only after I called my nurse in a panic.

Now that I am PG he is already worrying about being hours away when I go into labor and missing the delivery.

His work schedule is tough on both of us at times but I know he is working so hard now in hopes that things will be better by the time our LO arrives. I admire his dedication even when I am frustrated that he can't be somewhere with me. As a small business owner, his reputation, livelihood, and in some cases peoples lives are on the line, which is a lot of responsibility.

.@Mrs. Twine: @Ash: My dad is a farmer, so I understand your life style too. It's tough! At least it prepared me for my husband's unpredictible schedule. My dad has commented on how much my DH is like him in regards to work ethic/work hours

@smocks: Oh man, 4 months? Ugh. Yeah, DH, since I met him 8 years ago, has always wanted to do Family or possibly Psych. Now, 1.5 rotations into 3rd year, he really liked Haem/Onc and Internal...and doesn't know what he wants anymore. It means everytime I do get to see him/talk to him the topic of conversation revolves around him freaking out over what he should be setting up for next year. I feel like he should aim for Internal for now since it will keep more opportunities open down the road. Did your DH always know Emergency was his thing?

I fear that your hopes for scheduled life after rotations might be wishful thinking - but a girl can certainly dream! I'm really looking forward to living in the same place again. (Sleeping in the same bed as your husband (even if it's not at the same time) does wonders for your marriage I find :P) For now, we're just hoping that he can get some of his rotations set up nearby because LO is due at the end of February and it would be nice if they could know their daddy

I hate to say jt but it will get worse before it gets better!!My husband is an Ortho surgery fellow (finished 5 yr residency in June). Residency was worse than med school and I would say 2nd and 5th yrs of residency were the worst. . This is the first year we have had any relief. It's a long road, especially when you add a kid to the mix!

I'm a type A planner so it was very difficult for me for awhile to go with the flow. Because with a career like that its all you can do. I have had many disappointing broken plans, gone solo to countless weddings, and have spent many holidays without him. During resodench we lived close to family and friends so I just sort of had to plan my weekends without him and hope he could join if not on call. I got used to being more independent.

I hope it gets better for you soon. In the meantime keep on trucking and try to be as supportive as possible - it's harder on him than you!

I feel like there should be a support group for spouses of doctors. Ppl think its glamorous but they don't know the truth and that they get paid crapola until age like 35!!

Commiseration here too, my husband works for the railroad as an engineer. He's on call 24/7 and it really sucks! When he gets called to work he has 1.5 hours to get there and we live 45 minutes away, then he's on the rails for 12 hours, rest in whatever city he's been sent to for 10+ hours, then another 12 hours back to his home port. So basically he's gone for 1.5-2 days at a time, and all of our plans go out the window. It is exactly like being a single wife

@winniebee: sign me up! At this point I'll be happy earning crapola...

@Baby Boy Mom: yes crapolas definitely better than nothing!

@Baby Boy Mom: @winniebee: Me too! Crapola sounds *amazing* right now. DH didn't start med school until the year he turned 30 - I swear we will never be able to retire

@winniebee: agree - it gets worse before it gets better. DH is in 4th year of his Urology residency and has become more busy and unavailable as he's gained more responsibility.

@MamaCate: I feel for you - so many dinners made and gone cold, plans made then broken and so on. We only just had our first LO 7 weeks ago, and I have to say I have the utmost respect for those that go the whole way through med school and residency with babies in tow! My advice: try to avoid making plans when he's working. There will always be another consult or one last quick case or an impromptu teaching session that will undoubtedly side track him. Instead, tell him to text you if he gets unexpected free time and make a last minute plan to hang out, even if its just a walk with the kids or a quick coffee at work.

Keep on trucking! There is a light at the end of the tunnel