I like going to showers and celebrating with loved ones but my mom is really opposed to them and did not attend my bridal or baby shower. She always tells me registering for stuff is embarrassing and people should buy their own stuff. If you can't afford something, try to make do without it, etc.
Just wondering if anyone feels the same way about baby or bridal showers!
bananas / 9628 posts
Ouch! I'd be sad if my mom said that to me & refused to attend my bridal shower!
I agree that people should be responsible for buying what their baby needs, but babies don't need as much as we think! Gifts should be just that, an unexpected act of generosity, not something people have any expectation of receiving. I often enjoy showers, but not always. Next weekend I have to go to a 'bridal' shower, only the 'bride' has been married for 14 years & just never had the wedding she wanted, so now she's having a wedding & a bridal shower. The 'wedding' is one thing, but the shower just comes across as a gift grab of distasteful proportions! I am not looking forward to it at all. I don't think I'll have a baby shower when the time comes because I'd rather have people come for the naming & I know it would be too much for people to come out twice close together. That would leave us buying everything ourselves, but I think showers should be more about celebrating more than gifting & I'd rather celebrate with everyone at the naming.
So that's my long answer for saying, I think showers are fine most of the time & should be treated as a bonus not as a right. I like celebrations, so I almost always have a good time : )
persimmon / 1180 posts
I'm not big on showers for myself, but we still registered because people are gonna want to buy stuff. For the baby, we just had a BBQ for our family and friends. We didn't call it a baby shower, but people still brought gifts. We all just hung out and had fun and didn't do any of the "shower" type stuff.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
I'm not a huge fan of showers. But, I obliged my MIL who threw me both a bridal and baby shower.
It's really not a Korean tradition, so I told my mom not to feel obligated to invite her friends to either of them. It worked out that those who wanted to shower us could and those who weren't all that familiar with the tradition are able to wish us support in their own way/after baby is here!
kiwi / 542 posts
I would never have a shower. In my social circle (Im in the UK) they are viewed with a mix of distain/horror. If I were invited to one I would go and bring a gift, but I would probably be looking on in slight morbid fascination... I didn't have a bridal shower either, the whole thing comes across as very gift grabby and tacky to me. That's because it's not the norm where I am.
pomegranate / 3872 posts
I think of it more as a fun way for people to get together and celebrate a new mom and her new baby. They can be a little embarrassing I guess, but it depends how it's done. My friends want to give me one and I'm looking forward to it! I admit, the little brat in me thinks about all the showers I went to/sent gifts for during the past few years and I would definitely be disappointed not to have my own 
cherry / 176 posts
@mrs. bird: I wouldn't go to a shower for someone that's already been married since I was in high school! Bonkers.
I like a low-key shower with ladies getting together to celebrate a special event (getting married, having a baby, etc.) in your life. I enjoy spending time with my friends and family. It meant a lot to me to all get together for a happy occasion, instead of a funeral (my grandma and 16 year-old cousin had both died while we were planning our wedding).
I don't think you need multiple showers for each event necessarily, unless you live in a different state from all your family. A work shower in addition to a family/friends shower is what I wound up with for our wedding and the baby.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
I enjoy them in most situations. But something like the above where a woman who has been married for 14 years is having a shower would make me uncomfortable.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
that is crazy!!! I would be really sad/disappointed..
I absolutely LOVE showers!! I love going to them, I loved my showers, I love hosting them - I think they are so fun.
cantaloupe / 6164 posts
I'm with @Coco Bee! I love showers! I especially love planning and hosting them, but I really enjoyed my own too (bridal & engagement). I don't really see it as grabby or tacky since someone else is throwing it for you, and registering is totally expected here. I don't know anyone personally who didn't have a baby or bridal shower. My baby shower is next month and I am SO excited to hang out with everyone, play silly games, and eat!
cantaloupe / 6751 posts
I love showers! I think it's a great way to get together with friends and celebrate the lovely moments of life. I have no prob buying gifts for friends ... It's just fun!
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
It depends. I really didn't like mine. It was 50-70 people, a whole bunch that were friends of my mom. I felt like it was a gift grab. I didn't like being the centre of attentiom and it just made me uncomfortable.
If the shower is for someone I don't know very well, I usually find them boring.
BUT, if the shower is small and for someone I know well, then I find it tons of fun!
bananas / 9973 posts
I feel like the shower is/should be more about celebrating an occasion with the people that matter to you in life. Gifts are nice and stuff, but of course only given when the gifter wants to. And if they are the people who love you the most in life, they generally WANT to give you something too. I think they are a nice excuse to get together when everyone is so busy in their lives, so I try to make every shower/bday party, etc.
squash / 13764 posts
I love them! I even love showers that are for 2nd children, 3rd children, etc. I think they're so fun and really about celebrating the occasion, rather than just a way for people to get stuff.
nectarine / 2085 posts
I'm not a fan of showers in general, but that may be because my friends who have them tend to be pretty well off (read: able to meet all their needs and then some) so the whole registry thing just feels like someone telling me how to spend my money, which is rather offensive when we're talking about a gift. The best defense I've heard is that the recipient might get two toasters or two bassinets or something that doesn't match their decor. Well, maybe, but most stores readily take returns or, better yet, the Salvation Army or other charity loves to have new, unwanted gifts.
pomelo / 5331 posts
I really like showers. They're very common and expected in my circle and when I was paranoid I wasn't getting one, it was more because I was sad that nobody was preparing my celebration like they had for friends of mine. I have to admit, I kinda roll my eyes when people go into this big thing about how they're a gift grab and horrific. I just think the distaste is a little much these days (though that thing where the chick had been married for 14 years was unreal! That's definitely tacky). As far as registries go, they're there for the people who expect them and want to use them. I know that I want to know exactly what somebody wants when I'm getting them a gift, so I find them useful.
pomegranate / 3983 posts
I have mixed feelings about the gift-aspect, especially if it's a huge shower and we end up sitting around for an hour with just one gift after another. But I really like the celebrating this milestone aspect. Basically I like the party (games and food) but take the present part as just something I have to deal with.
kiwi / 542 posts
@ladyfingers: you could easily mean me... I am not trying to offend anyone. Where I am from they are not the done thing at all. Personally I would not feel comfortable asking for a gift, particularly before the safe arrival of my baby. This is a very cultural thing.
pomelo / 5331 posts
@sea_bass: No not at all! Sorry, I wasn't trying to call anybody out 
It's totally cultural. I meant it can get a bit much in a culture/society/circle where they're very common. All things being equal, it ends up feeling kinda judgmental. But in the case where it's not at all common -- like yours -- or even frowned upon/forbidden, that's totally different.
pear / 1861 posts
I hate them.LOL UNLESS they are for my friends, then I'm ok! Other people, not so much.
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