Hellobee Boards

My cleaning lady doesn't make comments!

I'm sure she doesn't meany any harm, but I don't like those types of comments in general. What's the point aside from being condescending and/or critical?

I don't have a cleaning person but that would make me irritated. I mean, obviously your home is going to be a little dirty - that's why you hired her!! If you had time to take care of everything she'd be out of a job.

I'm sure she's not intentionally trying to make you feel bad but her remarks are somewhat thoughtless. Sorry.

Hmm... shouldn't she be cleaning rather than making all those comments? Don't feel bad at all! A 2.5 y.o. and having another in weeks, I don't blame you for hiring someone to clean. Just ignore her!

I think she is just making cleaning small talk.

She may just be trying to show you how much she's doing. Like maybe you didn't realize the radiators were dirty, so when she is cleaning them she wants you to know? My hair stylist always make me feel bad about how long it's been and the state of my hair. I know he's just making small talk, but it makes me feel sort of defensive and self-conscious so I get what you mean.

@winniebee: my guess is it's her attempt at small talk. Annoying though.

@Anagram: I'd smile sweetly and say "job security!"

@winniebee: I'd be frustrated, but probably make a job security comment too lol "yeah, this old house has dust bunnies that eat other dust bunnies, good job security, huh? Haha" or I'd avoid her when she's over by just staying in other parts of the house.

@blackbird: I like to hide too. I work from home in a small house so it's super awkward for me to be there the whole time. Then I avoid the awkwardness and have the pleasure of coming home to a house that's clean all at once.

OP: that would annoy me too but it sounds like she's just making small talk.

I don't have a cleaning lady but if I did and she made comments like this, weather she meant them as insults or not, she would be out of a job. I don't need critical comments in my life and if she really wanted to have small talk it should be about books or movies or holiday plans ect. I'm annoyed for you lol

@Andrea: that's what i was thinking.

in any case, i would feel badly hearing those comments and i don't think she should make them.

I guess it's hard to say because I have no idea what tone she's using when she says these things, but if she's generally kind, I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt. She may not know how to make small talk and so just says what's on her mind - which ends up being about cleaning. If she doesn't seem miserable cleaning, she probably doesn't think of comments about how much she cleans or how she cleans things the same way someone who hates cleaning might.

I totally understand. I have 2 kids and WAH, so
I'm here most of the time when she's here and occasionally she will make comments similar to that like "these floors are so dirty", "the windows really need to be cleaned", etc. it does annoy me because we are not dirty people. But she also makes other comments that are starting to annoy me.

I was going to say yes before I saw her comments! I feel bad just like she's silently judging me. I wouldn't be able to handle comments out loud!

Wow! I don't have cleaners but comments like that would make me want to clean before they get there or find someone else. Pretty rude!

Maybe she is just trying to be helpful? Like recognizing you need an extra hand now and wishes she could help more? Or pointing out things so you don't have to wait until she comes to fix them (like the mark on the floor?)

Obviously she has a different lifestyle than you and it's easy to wonder if she is judging you for that. But she might just care about her work too. When I get my hair cut I ALWAYS get comments on how it's been too long since I had a haircut and I should take better care of it. It irks me, but I also just don't care that much about my hair. But I realize it's something the hair stylist does care about.

I would give her the benefit of the doubt, unless she sounds like she is trying to be snarky. Of course it's possible she hates her job and is taking it out on you. In that care the best thing you can do is be kind to her. If you feel like if is truly a poor match then hire someone else.

Eh, I'm rarely home when my cleaning lady comes. She's never been anything but beyond lovely. I mean who cares? I would not let it get to you. Perhaps she is just trying to insure some job security by making herself seem extra needed. If what she says does bother you, talk to her, if you don't want to find someone else. If it were me I'd let it go.

Maybe she is just bored/ talking out loud/ trying to interact?

Wouldn't it be funny if you replied. "Wow they sure are, glad I'm not cleaning them!"

I think she's just making small talk but it would probably bug me. DH is home when our housekeeper comes. I'm at work and have only met her once. She talks a lot but mainly about her cats.