I know that DH has occasional dad guilt about working long hours and not seeing DD very much during the week.
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nope. he says he doesn't have dad guilt!
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@Mrs. Bee: that boggles my mind. Moms can feel guilty over the most trivial things.
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@Andrea: My DH feels the same but he checks his phone for fantasy sports stuff all the time when he is around her!
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@autumnlove: so he doesn't feel guilty about using his phone?
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@Andrea: I guess I don't get that... why would I feel guilty?
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DH has occasional pangs of dad guilt. I'm obsessive about research and he feels unprepared and will have cram sessions about once a month.
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@mrbee: not saying that you should at all. It's just that every mom I know has expressed guilt over something so it is interesting that it is not the same for dads.
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@Andrea: I do feel guilty sometimes... but I feel work guilt, not dad guilt!
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@mrbee: I'll have to ask DH if he has any work guilt!
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@mrbee: I have a feeling that DH feels like he already works enough. LOL.
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@Andrea: Haha ok. I feel like I could never work enough!
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I really don't think so. I get such bad mommy guilt about things like having LO watch tv (we stopped that) and what I feed her so I'm so careful about feeding her healthy food. And then DH will have her while I'll go out for a massage and I'll come home and the TV will be on and I'll ask what they had for breakfast and he'll say McDonald's pancakes!
I'm not bothered by it, I think everything's ok in moderation. But it's just so weird to me that he's so fine with it when I stress out about those things every day!
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And FYI I told him where perfectly healthy things were for breakfast in our house.
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I really don't think he does. I'm torn because on the one hand I think it's good for one of us to not feel guilty over everything and actually get to enjoy parenting more.
On the other hand, it sometimes annoys me that I try so hard and he just... doesn't. I fear that he will always be free to be the "fun" parent while I have to constantly worry about doing the right thing for LO. It just seems like that's the pattern in a lot of relationships and it makes me sad that mine will likely be the same.
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Nope not at all. He misses her when he's gone, but no guilt!
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@artbee: @meredithNYC: @chopsuey119: guys are weird!!!
@meredithNYC: good point about the dad being the "fun" parent. I have thought the same thing a few times. It's a lot easier for the dad to be fun if he isn't worrying about cooking a healthy meal for dinner (an example from my own household).
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Yeah, my husband definitely gets Daddy guilt. Sometimes it's about working long hours (not that he can help that), sometimes it's about losing his temper or not being as patient as he'd like (I get Mommy guilt about that, too). He's a really good dad, but I think sometimes he blames himself if the kids are going through a rough patch, which I don't do as often.
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@Andrea: He says he feels guilty but it doesn't seem to stop him!
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When I'm spending a nice chunk of quality time with Charlie, I will make it a point to put away distractions.
But when I have large chunks of time with him, I don't make as big an effort to maximize our interactions... I will do other things, and encourage him to play with things himself. Like this morning he woke up at bit earlier than usual and I did check my email while he ate little snacks that I prepared for him. I think that's ok, and didn't feel guilty at all about it!
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@autumnlove: haha, of course!! I asked DH if he's felt any dad guilt and he asked "what's that???"
@Honeybee: "rough patch" as in having tantrums?
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I know he definitely misses her since he works long hours, but I think his view is that he is doing what is best for her, so I don't think he feels guilty about it.
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@Andrea: yeah tantrums or misbehaving or not sleeping well.
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