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My husband never researches stuff like that. He'll research how to intall a new car part but not baby stuff! He is always willing to listen to what I have learned though so that's kind of our compromise.

My husband started reading and researching after a while, but it wasn't until well after I was pregnant and he could see how much I was suffering that he got motivated. It started with things like what really helps nausea and then he got curious about what I was going through, and when it started to hit him that we're going to have a baby here he read about baby care. He still hates the books written by/for guys, because he feels like they're condescending - though for the right person they might be perfect.

It might take your DH a while longer for things to sink in a bit more, and a doula is a great idea to make sure you have a reliable support and take the pressure off him. Maybe you could look into one of the "early bird" classes (pre-20 weeks) that prep you a little bit for birth but also cover pregnancy wellness? Or take a class with a doula? That might help him start to grasp what is involved with birth.

DH researches everything. He hasn't been really reaearching my pregnancy and delivery but he's been paying close attention to everything my doctors are saying.

As far as the baby I think he's relying mostly in my experience but he does research gear.

My husband was in med school during my pregnancy, so the hard reality was that he had a lot of other stuff to research.
That said, it was important to me, so I basically "pre screened" things. Like I put sticky notes on chapters of books for him to read- and he just had to read those chapters.
Usually we'd plan a date night, and he'd read some stuff in advance, and then we could talk about it over dinner.

As far as gear research- I just presented him with the options I had narrowed it down to, and he gave me his input.

He's a very, very involved father and partner. I never tell him what to do with our daughter, or anything. So not researching car seats doesn't have to be a reflection of how he will be as a parent. Honestly, its my personality to take charge and research everything to death, while he is the more logical/reasonable person who is good at making decisions.
I felt frustrated at times during pregnancy because it felt like he wasn't "excited," but in hindsight that was pretty unfair of me. We just had totally different ways of preparing and being excited.

I should also add that he gets pretty anxious about things (we both do), and was terrified that something was going to go wrong, so he didn't want to "get his hopes up" too soon. I realize that sounds awfully grim, but I think he was a little worried about "jinxing" something.

My DH does do research when I tell him certain things (like if I have a pain or feel something strange). He also did a lot of research while we were TTC. He is a scientist though, so I feel like it is kinda in his nature to want to inform himself as much as possible. He always listens closely at doctor's appointments. This is really helpful for me because he understands a lot of the stuff they talk about and he can help explain it to me if I'm confused. He doesn't research baby gear...unless I'm stuck between two items, then he will look and tell me which he thinks is better.

As far as labor, breastfeeding and taking care of the baby go, I don't think he's really done much. We went to a child birth class and we were part of a special prenatal care system where you meet with a group of people and they instruct your group on a certain subject each appointment. I think that gave him a lot of information on the stuff he hasn't researched.

Maybe you can get some packets from the hospital on things you think would be important for him to know (like maybe a packet on PPD and explain he will need to help look out for it? My DH said the PPD class we had was the best information he got as a partner because now he knows what to look for if I end up having it). Try not to overwhelm him with stuff you don't think it's essential to know....or give him information slowly?

My hubby hasn't researched anything but I did ask him to go to a class at our hospital about labor & delivery. He did attend that and it covered the things I feel were important. Good luck!

He's not a researcher, he likes to wait until the time comes to deal with things and then research if really necessary. I can understand that and I think I research enough for the both of us and share bits of info from time to time. Though when I was pregnant I left a big pregnancy day to day book in the bathroom which he used to read sometimes whilst having a #2!

DH is the one that randomly ordered a pregnancy guide, before we were even married! He loves to read and learn, so I'm pretty sure he'd be the one doing all the research about everything!

My husband bought one book tailored for dads and after reading a couple of chapters stopped reading because he thought it was useless. He said it was common sense! I don't blame him and I never expected him to. I would read some stuff and share with him but we didn't go overload with the research. Honestly, he was a natural at most baby things. Looking back, the books helped a little bit but I mostly just did what felt natural.

He went with me to a class and also heard me out when I had little breakdowns. That's enough for me.

Nope. He just goes by what I tell him. The only thing he researched was if sex drive really plummeted for women during pregnancy. He was disappointed to find out that was true. Haha

He's still been the most amazing support throughout this pregnancy. I know the details don't interest him. He's there for me 120% so that's all that matters.

My husband hasn't done any research yet and he probably won't. In a way it does kind of bug me. He researches other things that interest him, so his lack of reading here does come off like he's not interested in the pregnancy. However, I think he has a bit of a "I'll take it as I come" attitude to it.

He didn't, which kind of surprised me. So I would tell him about what I read and that seemed to work for us.
He's been a great dad despite his lack of reading though

I did all the research- and told him about it. I did buy him the book "Dude, your going to be a dad" he read is (or most of it...) I also read it so we could talk about what it said! DH is such a great Dad though, I think that maybe not doing all the research and reading has made him more chill! (I tend to worry about everything that could possibly happen to LO)

Nope, he didn't research anything at all. I bought him two books, neither of which he read.

He did go the childbirth class with me and paid close attention there, and was very supportive during labor. And to be honest, I think he would have had to learn every hypothetical method of supporting me during labor. The things he learned in the childbirth class? None of them ended up being applicable. There were stretches of my labor where I had zero interest in being touched, at all. And other times none of the contraction-coping positions we practiced during the class were even necessary, I just needed him to hold my hand.

So I guess for us I *did* need to tell him what to do during labor, but because what I wanted and needed kept changing, and there's no way either of us could have predicted it (there was even a period of time when I was still at home where I just needed to completely alone, in a room by myself with the door shut!)

@loveisstrange: How horrible!!! See that would totally be my husband. We had a dry run false alarm and my husband threw such a fit that I wouldn't allow him to get McDonalds on the way to the birthing center.... Umm I might be in labor and you just have to stop for a freaking burger? And after I told him to just drop me off and he could go get one for himself he still had the nerve to be all pouty and not talk to me. So that's fun. And I am not expecting much out of him the day labor really comes. I am so glad that I am really liking my current midwives and also that my mom will be there. So sad that no one was there for you though

He leaves that all to me. . . .

Nope he never researched anything, it was left up to me. Usually though I would narrow something down to 2-3 (usually something to do with baby gear) and then I'd ask for his input. He usually decided by what one was the better color etc

I do most of the research and DH trusts what I find, mostly because he trusts my judgement overall. His policy is basically if it makes me happy, then he's all for it. That said, I've found out recently that he actually talks to a lot of his friends, particularly the women, who've had kids about symptoms and how he can help better or things to watch out for. So when we talk about things now, he'll say "oh my friend so-and-so said this happens." So he's doing social research.