My DH wanted me to be a SAHM.
Lucky for him (and me) it's what I've always wanted to do too.
My DH wanted me to be a SAHM.
Lucky for him (and me) it's what I've always wanted to do too.
grapefruit / 4400 posts
Neither one of us wants me to be a SAHM (or a SAHD, for that matter). Props to you who do it and love it, but it would never work for our family!
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
He wants me to do whatever will make me happiest. At the moment that's being a SAHM, but if and/or when that changes he'll still be happy. He did once tell me that ideally he'd want to be a SAHD, but has since found a job he's crazy about, so I don't think that is applicable anymore.
pineapple / 12234 posts
DH doesn't mind, but eventually wants to be a double income family. For me, I just want to be a SAHM for the first 2 years and go back to work...so we're kind of on the same page. Being a SAHM is super exhausting and I feel like working would give me a break (not realistic but at least a break the LO's).
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
I'm sure he would love to be a sahd. But to answer your question he wants me to be a sahm, but I need to work to keep my depression at bay.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Yes, he does...but he knows I want to work for as long as possible.
pomelo / 5628 posts
If I was a SAHM, it would probably destroy our marriage! DH would judge every minute of my day. I would really like to go part-time. That would be perfect for us.
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
He didn't, but now she's here he does! Just for a few years though. I kind of feel the same about it.. I assumed I would want to work again when she was 6 months, but now she's here I doubt it.
pomelo / 5469 posts
He's always known that I've wanted to be a SAHM, infact now I'm pregnant I think he's actually a little jealous and wishes he could be a SAHD! Unfortunately he makes several times the amount of money I could, so it's going to be me
watermelon / 14206 posts
Yes, but only until LO is in school. I totally agree. Ive only been sahm this year while ds is in kindergarten cause my temp job was up and we figured with being high risk I better take it easy. But ive been really bored during the day. I'm glad LO will be here soon to keep me company!
pomegranate / 3452 posts
Yes, we discussed it fairly early on in our relationship and started working towards it financially before we got engaged. I'm lucky!
papaya / 10570 posts
My DH would hate it if I was a SAHM. It's bad enough when I work from home - he makes little comments about how easy my job is or how it's ok for me, sitting around in my PJs all day. I'd be the same if he was a SAHD though - I'd be so jealous it would probably tear us apart. Sad, really.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
He wanted me to be a sahm because he thought it would be best for lo..... But he was unsure about finances. Luckily for me I barely made any money so it made the most sense for me to stay home anyway
cantaloupe / 6800 posts
He isn't against it. Financially it's not an option for us but he's okay with me working part time.
apricot / 280 posts
Yep, but mostly because he doesn't want to put our child in daycare (we're not fond of the cost or experience). If it worked out for him to be a SAHD, he would be totally cool with that but he's our breadwinner by a mile so there will probably never be a time when I'll be working and he'll be staying home.
pomelo / 5000 posts
Mixed. His mom never worked, and he thinks she would have been happier to have some purpose outside of the home, even if it was part-time. But we talk about me not working, at least for the first few years.
nectarine / 2127 posts
He'd prefer I work. I'm a CPA so he really struggles with the idea of giving up my income.
grapefruit / 4311 posts
He would rather me work - he wouldn't want to slow down dramatically on our financial goals.
eggplant / 11716 posts
I think my husband and I are very similar in that we could go either way, for a temporary amount of time. I think theoretically, he likes the idea of a SAHM, and if we'd stayed in Texas, I might have considered it for a couple of years, till the kids were in pre-K, or I might have gone part-time.
But since we just moved to a new state and it's much more expensive to live here, I'm going to keep working. Plus, my job is pretty kid-friendly since I work in education. All holidays off--two weeks at Christmas, 1 week spring break, jewish holidays off, and other american holidays--plus the whole summer.
And now that I'm a librarian, I rarely take work home and it's much less stressful. Plus, I kind of love my job, so I hate to leave it and have to start over later in a new school districtl
Both of us are on the same page that once the kids are in school all day, I would never stay home.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
He wants me to be happy- above all. He knows that whether I work or stay home, it's hard.
He has commented, on days I've left DH with
DS, how in awe he is at what I do every day. He says how do you get anything done with him around! It's a good feeling knowing my husband believes in me.
He's fine with me working, however I do think he would have a preference for me to be a SAHM. But iltately he wants what it best for our family.
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6581 posts
Not necessarily! He just wants me to like what I'm doing, and right now, he knows that dropping out of my Master's + not working would = a very unhappy mama, and he supports that! If I wanted to be a SAHM, he'd support that too!
bananas / 9628 posts
he would want me to stay home. he doesn't want our children in daycare, but once they were in school he might be okay with me working if i wanted to, but he would rather me not.
pomelo / 5720 posts
DH wanted me to keep working at first because he was worry about his own job security. Now that LO is here (and I was laid off anyway) we've decided that it's best all around for me to stay at home. I was secretly hoping he'd change his mind and I'm glad things have worked out this way.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
Hubby wants to be the stay at home parent. haha! He wants me to continue to work because our current insurance is through me (he's self employed). Otherwise, I don't think he'd mind me being a SAHM.
GOLD / pineapple / 12662 posts
Nope. But he is open to the idea of me going part-time. We both agree we would have to reassess the situation if we decide to have another baby.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
He wants me to be happy, but he is glad that I would like to be a SAHM.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
He always said he would love to but after our lo got here and he had a taste of being home with our daughter and two dogs by himself a few days, he changed his mind. It stresses him out too much.
Edit: Oh. I thought you said does your SO want to be a SAHM/D. Haha!! He would LOVE for me to be a SAHM. I would do it, if we could afford it. We can't, so I'm not.
GOLD / papaya / 10206 posts
Nope, he is really excited for me to go back to work. His mom was a SAHM and gave up any chances at a career (based on her circumstances, not saying all SAHMs give that up) and she has never been happy at any job she's had since going back to work. He also knows that we like nice things and life is easier when we have more money. I hope we can find a good balance. I'm really looking forward to sharing household chores again though when I start work!! lol!!
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
For right now he'd like me to work because otherwise we would have to drastically change our lifestyle. He has mentioned me retiring early, though!
pomelo / 5093 posts
My husband really loved and supported the idea of a stay at home parent, too. If I wanted to go back to work, he'd support me being happy, but he prefers to have one of us at home. In theory he says he'd be happy to be the one at home, but in reality he's much too career focused and achievement motivated to be happy at home. We work well together, since I'm for the most part happy as a SAHM.
GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts
Nope! Not until we have multiple children and the cost of daycare will exceed my income. I'm glad he encouraged me to go back because I am loving being back at work (even though I was SURE I wanted to be a SAHM)
coconut / 8483 posts
Sometimes he says he wants me to work, but other times he is reminded by how much he liked his mom being home. Ideally I will be a SAHM for a few years and then work once the kids are in school. We aren't even TTC yet so I have a while left before I'm a SAHM!!
grapefruit / 4442 posts
Not me but Dh does he's sad that he is going to miss milestones. He stayed with her for 2 months for paternity leave
pomegranate / 3244 posts
Nope. He knows I'd go crazy, plus I make more than he does so it wouldn't make sense financially. If one of us were to SAH, it would probably be him
squash / 13764 posts
Yup, he definitely prefers that I stay at home with LO. He'd support me if I wanted to work, but for him ideally I'd stay at home.
GOLD / squash / 13576 posts
He wants LO to be at daycare, because of the curriculum, so being a SAHM doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
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