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I wanted a doula until my husband said that he wanted to be my doula. His choice made me really worried because he'd never seen or knew what was going to happen, so we took Bradley classes. We learned a lot (it's a 12 week birthing class with homework) and he was able to be my doula when I gave birth. My husband was amazing during my delivery; coaching me through everything.

I will say that I don't think every husband/partner can or wants to do this and having a doula is a wonderful thing. They are very knowledgable about child birth making them a great resource during a stressful situation.

we dont plan to have a doula, i just feel that "too many cooks spoil the broth" there will be nurses, doctors, assistants and for me a doula on top of that would be confusing. I do best under minimum supervision and would love to be left a lone with DH as much as possible until pushing time

We won't be having one. But! The main reason is that in the UK, births are run completely by midwives (unless there are complications) so we basically have built in ones. I think, if I were having a traditional US birth, I'd be interested in having a trained person there to advocate for me and the baby so I didn't end up with a bunch of interventions I don't need.

I can see what you mean about the diva thing, especially since no one else in your circle has used one. I think you just have to figure out what you will be most comfortable with and not worry about what others will say... like with everything childbirth/rearing-related!

I had one for my first birth, mostly because at the midwifery we went to you are required to have one if you a first timer. I loved her, she was so nice and helpful! I think I can do with out this time but if adding the doula isn't that expensive I might just go ahead and have one again.

I'm in the process of interviewing doulas. None of my friends who have given birth have had doulas, either, but I don't think it makes you a diva.

My husband and I both would like a doula there. We'll be delivering in a hospital and this is our first child. We want a natural childbirth and feel that having a doula there will be extra assurance that we will have as natural birth as possible in a hospital.

Nope, mostly because I like my OB practice so much! There are three docs on staff and I got to know all of them through the pregnancy and I knew that one of them would be delivering.

Even if I didn't like my OB practice as much, I'm not sure I would have gotten one, because I didn't have a birth plan, I didn't have high expectations, I wasn't that scared, and all I wanted was a healthy baby to come out of me.

I really want one. I love my husband, and he has said he will go to Bradley classes when that time comes, but I know he won't be a great labor coach, especially if he's feeling a lot of pressure. I feel like having a doula will help him be able to relax, and that will be relaxing for me too. It takes my husband a little while to warm up to people too, so I am hoping we can find a Bradley class instructor who is also a doula! That way by the time the birth comes, he will really trust her.

I certainly plan to. For me, I'd much rather be coached by someone who is not my Mom or Husband, who I can yell at and not offend or hurt them, who knows what to expect and how to react, and who can stand up for what I want and fight for my requests when I'm too tired to fight. I love doulas!

I wouldn't have one, but I work in NICU and spend a lot of time in labour and delivery, attending high-risk deliveries, assessing/resuscitating babies who aren't transitioning well. So I have a good relationship with most of the LDR nurses, and OB's.

Also, I have had a lot of negative experiences with the doulas in my city (there are only 3-4), where I wouldn't be able to trust them. Stuff like, the baby isn't breathing, and I am breathing for it using a resuscitation device (or even when I was giving it chest compressions) and the doula is DEMANDING the baby go skin to skin with mom ... Um, hello, why don't we wait until the baby is breathing for cuddle time mkay?

I didn't have one. I didn't really see a need for one, and my SO was planning on being my labor coach. In the end, I had to get a c-section anyway.

@NYCaliMama: Thank you! I think it was such a smart idea to get a doula for your second. My hubs might have to stay home with the LO, too, if I had another baby so at least a doula could be my support system. Great idea.

It is an entirely personal choice and everyone has to do what is right for them. I would never and my reason is the following:
I have a 'friend' (I use the term loosely) who should be in an institution getting mental help. She is very mentally ill and its sad. One of her many issues is she goes to a different ER every day, gets and combines different medications and is a wreck and has munchausens. (I spent an awful year living with her so I saw everything) She also smokes a ton.
She also took a course for a few hours and is now a certified doula. That scares me that it is that easy to get certification for it. She is also super cheap so I know she gets hired by people who don't know better. I know I could do my research and find someone who is the opposite of her, but knowing how potentially easy it is to call yourself one, turns me off to it. My mom and DH will be my support team.

And while I'm talking about doulas, I thought perhaps I'd detail a little more about what they (soon I can say "we"!) do.

A doula's job, first and foremost, is to make the birth a positive experience for the mother. She does not perform any medical procedures or checks whatsoever, she is there for support, natural pain management, and to be an advocate.

Most doulas will attend and support any kind of birthing plan - natural or medicated, including c-sections.
During labor they help with natural pain management with the use of massage and other techniques, and some are specially trained in hypnobirth.

During prenatal appointments your doula will talk to you about the type of birth you want. She will go over many options with you and find out what you are comfortable with.

If you are presented with a different birth plan while in labor like a suggestion of a drug, she will inform you in plain, clear language (as opposed to confusing doctor-speak) of the purpose and side effects without letting her personal opinion get in the way. If you decide against something and are being pushed into it, it is her job to stand up for your decision and make sure your wishes are followed as much as possible.

If you only want specific friends and family members in the room and not others, it's her job to respectfully and politely ask them to respect your privacy and give you some time alone. If you want photos taken or birth story notes, she will record these for you as well.

After your baby makes it's entrance, she makes sure your wishes are followed in reminding doctors and nurses of your birth plan and wishes regarding everything from whether you want to hold your baby right away or have it cleaned, if you want the typical shots and eye drops or if you have chosen and signed a waiver against it, etc.

She will then stay with you to coach you in making sure your baby makes a successful first latch and is nursing properly, and then will leave you alone to bond with your baby.

She will usually also include a postpartum appointment in her fee, which will answer any questions you may have and help address any nursing problems (many doulas are also certified lactation consultants) or other problems you may be having.

Of course, I've just described the ideal doula. Not all are perfect, like any profession there are a few bad seeds that spoil the reputations of these women of service.
My advice in finding a good one is -
1. Interview her. You can judge a lot about a person's character by first impressions.
2. Make sure she is certified with a reputable training organization. CBI and DONA are the two largest and most well-known.
3. Check her references. Call her previous clients and find out if they had a positive experience.

Sorry for the book there... just thought I'd throw in my little bit of doula-know-how.

I didn't get one and I really regret it. I totally planned on just getting drugs and asking nurses for help. Plus Rob Sr. wanted to be very involved and I trusted him to learn everything through childbirth classes and research. He's very sensitive and intelligent and we both knew he would be a great coach. We didn't even want anyone else in the room with us. Going in, we felt really confident.

Big mistake.

24 hour labor, 2 epidural failures (so 3 epidurals placed, one while I was 8 cm dilated and having contractions every 2 mins!) pushed for 3 hrs with no crowning... everything went wrong and even though Rob Sr. was an amazing coach, by the time we hit pushing time we were both so physically and emotionally exhausted that neither of us could really do anything at all, let alone him help me in any coherent way. We had a nurse who was horrible with certain things (she stuck me over 10 times to draw blood when I spiked a fever) but luckily she was amazing at coaching me through my most painful contractions when I was stuck at 8 cm and my epidural wore off. Both Rob Sr. and I were completely overwhelmed at the amount of pain I was in and I've never felt so helpless in my life. Poor Rob Sr. couldn't do anything other than be there for me to grab and pull down into the bed during contractions.

After that horrific experience, I will gladly spend the time and money next time to find and hire an amazing doula that I love and trust. In fact, I'm looking forward to the process of finding and getting to know them! I'd love to find one that can massage, suggest laboring positions, and get me as far as possible before an epidural next time. And, of course, in the case of another epidural failure, to help me through that as well!! I am terrified that it's something about my body that just can't hold an epidural for more than a couple of hours (they would take effect just fine, then wear off and never come back even after re-adjustments and different drugs... at the end I had SIX anesthesiologists lined up in my room, arms crossed and heads shaking... that was most terrifying of all) so I'd hire a doula just to have the peace of mind of backup support in case it happens again.

And this way, next time around Rob Sr. can just enjoy the labor process as dad and cheerleader. I think we both paid our dues with the first birth!!

Honestly, I didn't even know what a doula was until I started going on mommy boards. Clearly it's not something that is popular here, so we didn't have one.