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Did they look at adjusted age or actual for the survey?

I don't think you need to have them on board. It's your child, you make the decisions that are best for him. I wouldn't put the topic up for discussion. You can say we are getting him evaluated and you won't be entertaining discussion about it, period. Just shut it down.

This is your decision, not your family's. EI services could really help. This is coming from someone who has to get it done asap when my son gets back into the country . You can't worry about what anyone else thinks.

I agree with @catomd00: it is your LO and you make the parenting decisions. An evaluation can never hurt and does not and should not stigmatize anyone. So many studies show that early intervention makes an enormous difference!

Ugh, that's a crappy situation with your family, but LO getting the extra help if he needs it certainly comes before their opinions and egos. My child is in EI, and it was tough when he qualified, because no one wants to be told that their child is behind...but whether or not it's a serious problem, it certainly doesn't make sense to turn down extra help - especially when it's free and comes from people with special training!

I would just tell them that you're moving forward with it and that if they do decide he qualifies for EI, then either E does turn out to have some real delays and you're getting help for them early, or he ends up being fine and just needing extra time since he's a preemie, but in the meantime you have a trained professional who will show you different ways to play and work with him to get him caught up faster. Either way, it can only help!

Please don't let them stop you from getti g him help! Even if he's only a bit behind, it's setting an awful precedent letting them control your child's medical decisions. Is the living together thing a temporary situation? It sounds stressful!

@MrsRcCar: Oh, sigh. I just read the comment about the family's feeling about the doctor. Do they think we get kickbacks from referrals? Uh, no. In fact, early intervention is usually a state funded service.

@MrsRcCar: Exactly, mama!! What mother doesn't? I've never understood the stigma people place on early intervention.

I read an article in the NYT some weeks ago imploring the wealthy to spend as much money on daycares and preschools as they do universities, because THAT is where their dollars would make a true difference!

@MrsRcCar: My DH went through the same thing - my MIL was very happy that we were getting L help so early! And my mom's a teacher, so obviously she was supportive...but yeah, the earlier the better!

My only regret is not getting my son services sooner. The strides he has made are incredible and EI would never hurt a child but can make all the difference especially at the ages when brain development is so rapid. I say go for it and let your family flip out if they must. Explain to them that this is just a precautionary thing and not a diagnosis of anything. Just helping him catch up at a crucial time.

@MrsRcCar: I meant to reply to you last night, I can totally understand family being hesitant to explore services. My MIL was like that when I had my son evaluated at the age of 18 months. I asked her why she was so hesitant about it and she basically said that the reason was because the diagnosis "follows" the child through school and she was worried that he would be treated differently. But in our case, it did not matter because our son wasn't going to be in that particular school system (we moved).

Now, my SILs kids could absolutely use services, but they don't get them because of this reason. It's unfortunate.

@MrsRcCar: I think for a lot of people, the acceptance of services is the admission that something is less than perfect. It's like your perfect child/grandchild isn't so perfect anymore, and it can be a tough thing to accept.

My parents are totally fine with it, but then again, I have a special needs brother. So they are familiar with EI.

@MrsRcCar: You're doing the right thing, I firmly believe that nothing bad can come from seeking additional help.

@MrsRcCar: we are going thru a similar thing with A. At our last follow-up with the NICU they suggested getting A evaluated - not so much because she's showing delays, but they don't want her to get behind, and also because of her feeding issues. Dh thinks that it means there is something "wrong" with her if we do it, but I'd honestly welcome some PT for her and it would give me a better sense of where she is developmentally. We are getting our evaluation next week. Have you set anything up yet?

@MrsRcCar: good luck with the eval! EI has been very helpful to D

Ours wasn't long...maybe an hour? I can't remember exactly. LO was only a few months old so it was mostly questions for me.

@MrsRcCar: I hope it goes well! Everyone we have worked with has been great.

@MrsRcCar: sounds like a good plan! I know this is stressful but hang in there!