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Behavior is a huge problem for us right now. The short time we have as a family each day is a constant power struggle with LO trying to control us at every turn. I'm emotionally drained constantly. The tantrums are suddenly bigger than ever.

@T.H.O.U.: Go Noodle is great to break things up I know most of our kinder morning block is literacy. So usually they do a read aloud (10-15 minutes), sight word work/phonics lesson (10-15 minutes), poetry or some other anchor chart for another 10-15 minutes. If I'm in a kinder room and I see kids sitting for more than 15 minutes without a break, they are usually going bonkers and I address it with the teacher.

@T.H.O.U.: Thry took recess away from a kindergartener?! That's crazy. Kids need to get out and play and taking that away from a kid that young would be unacceptable to me. Also, it's completely illogical. She's likely acting out because she has to sit too much, so her punishment is more sitting?

@T.H.O.U.: my girl lost 5 minutes of recess yesterday. We didn't get a note though, she owned up to it. I'm not sure when the teacher decides to write a note in our daily binder but we've received a handful so far. My kid is active and social. It's hard for her to control it. Quiet kids have an advantage

Losing recess and books for "bad" behavior as described above (wiggly, talking out of turn, not listening) does not seem right. For that matter, taking away a book from a child is basically never okay unless they're destroying it. It also seems to me that a treasure box and tickets is manipulative. I don't know exactly what this teacher is dealing with, and it's possible I'd change my mind if I saw it in person, but I wouldn't like those behavior-control strategies being used on my child.

As to new behaviors as a result of K, we don't have the same school day situation to deal with, but LO's behavior hasn't changed much. He's usually easy to deal with as long as he gets enough outdoor time and sleep, although even if everything is perfect, he still argues when it's time to do something he doesn't want to do. The main issue now is that he's more likely to talk back than he was a year ago.

@T.H.O.U.: For stuff like talking out of turn, I'd be consistently and immediately reminding the child to please not do that, as it disrupts the class. That technique could take a lot of time to be effective, and I suspect that part of the reason that the self-defeating and manipulative punishment/reward systems are used is because the teachers feel like they don't have the time.

And I know it's not in vogue to say it, but I think screen time is massively unhelpful when you're dealing with behavior issues, even the "interactive," "educational," or "move-along/dance along/get the wiggles out" screen time. So that would be the first thing I'd nix if I had a class with behavior problems.

@T.H.O.U.: I'm really nervous about starting K next year. M's favorite part of the day is playing outside and when they cut it down to just 20 minutes during the day, I know she is going to have a hard time with it. I'm sure we will be dealing with these same issues. Sorry you're dealing with this. I really have no idea what teachers can do in public schools these days. They have a lot of kids, few resources and some of them don't even have full time TA's anymore. It's so hard for both teacher and kids.

@T.H.O.U.: No, I don't think that's true. I went to a very mainstream, traditional public school. My elementary classrooms had no TV/smartboard in them and the teachers used the "don't do that" (over and over) technique. No one lost recess or a book, ever, although major infractions resulted in a trip to the vice principal's office for an embarrassing talking-to and maybe a note/call home. So a couple decades ago this stuff all worked pretty brilliantly. More recently (as in, last week), I saw a teacher do the same stuff--no screen time, lots of gentle but firm correction of transgressions--in an after-school class.

I should add that I wouldn't nix the smartboard/screen time as punishment. I'd nix them because I think they're counterproductive.

@honeybear: I agree with you about removing screen time. Since I've imposed the rules, my son has been much better.

@honeybear: I don't fully agree with you. I take books away from my daughter all the time. And I fully support reading. But she would rather sit and read a book than brush her teeth. There are also only so many minutes in a day. If she gets herself distracted and we don't have time to do reading before bed she doesn't get the books. She gets really disappointed and views it as a punishment. But I'm not going to push bedtime to allow her to read her 15 minutes before bed if she decided that playing was more important. She's made aware of her choices.

My girl lost 5 minutes of recess along with several classmates because they refused to listen while the teacher was trying to communicate something important. Is there really a difference between missing class time in the principal's office versus missing playtime at recess? I get they need play time. But they also need learning time. And in our school they have PE every other day, so 50% of the time they are getting doubled up on "physical activity". Sometimes PE is outside too.

My DD did not have a ton of behavior problems in school when starting elementary, but we had a ton of behavior problems at home. There are so many rules enforced at school (and she is major rule-follower) that when she got home, it was often just a meltdown over minor things. She also experienced major frustration when the entire class was docked recess time for the infractions of a few. Thankfully these kinds of things went away after 1st gr, and by 2nd and 3rd, most of the kids have figured out the "system" and how to operate in it. So it definitely gets better. Also, for my DD's 3rd grade class, there is rarely any recess time taken away.. they have a classroom economy that rewards positive behavior with class currency that they can use. I wonder if the recess thing is just a tangible thing that is commonly used to enforce behavior at a younger age (but we hated it).

@MamaG: I hear you, but for a child who's being disruptive, I don't see why it would be worse to correct the problem immediately at the sacrifice of a few minutes of curriculum time for that child than to threaten with a delayed punishment, which still results in a disruption to the class. If the bad behavior happens during recess, recess will inevitably be missed--that's a consequence that's fine by me. My problem is with using the loss of recess as a generic punishment/threat for all infractions. I'll be honest about my bias here: I think children this age need more time doing their own thing (with adult supervision and gentle guidance, of course) than they need explicit instruction time. I think that balance is way off in schools. And anyway, I think that learning appropriate behavior is very important, especially at this age.

I still don't think taking a book away as punishment for misbehavior in general is a good idea. As punishment for defacing the book or reading it to avoid doing something else? Fine. But as a generic punishment, which is what it sounds like was going on at the school, I think that's a bad idea.

@T.H.O.U.: so, my son is not in kindergarten yet, but Ive taught kindergarten for a long time and wanted to say that I think your daughter is probably going to be just fine. The incidents you described don't sound too wild or things that are reoccurring. You're right to think the difference is the expectation of focus & stamina. Kinder is such a different place than pre-school. Also, Oct/Nov is a particularly hard time of year. The "honeymoon" is over, expectations are upped yet again, the curriculum becomes more complex, etc.
As for what you can do, I agree with @808love: about taking to her about her general feelings about school. It may take a few tries for her to be honest, because lots of kids feel like they are supposed to say everything is good. But she hopefully will give you some insight to what's really bothering her & you can go from there.