What do you consider to be no longer toddler age? My son is almost 4 (in April). He continues to exhibit behavior that I feel he should have grown out of by now (or has not learned skills that I feel he should have by now?) ...such as:

-MOUTHING. He continues to suck his thumb (we've been trying to break the habit since it began at 9 months). Not only that, he puts various toys, paper, chews on my shirts (when i'm wearing them!), etc...just to have something in his mouth. And this is about 50% of the time - basically whenever he isn't running around or playing with toys.

-WON'T SIT STILL WHILE EATING/WON'T FEED HIMSELF WITH UTENSIL We continue to have to remind him to sit straight/forward and not get out of his seat until he is finished with his meal. He is so fidgety and often times gets out of his chair after taking one or two bites He also whines for me to feed him, otherwise, he won't eat nearly as much! (meanwhile, my 20 month old is feeding himself!)

-ACCIDENTS. We started potty training him in May 2014! I thought we had it in the bag. He was doing so well in the first few months and on...with just a few accidents here and there. I thought those were normal. But now that I look back, he has accidents because he doesn't realize he needs enough time to get to a toilet/potty and doesn't allot himself that time. He continues to do this even now and even at home when his potty is literally in the next room. We remind him that he needs to go when he has "that feeling" even just a little bit but it doesn't seem to be sinking in...

BRUSHING TEETH. When were you able to let your child brush their own teeth (well)? It takes an enormous amount of asking him to even go to the bathroom to start. Then when he is there, he just putzes around...playing with the toothbrush instead of actually brushing. He gets toothpaste on his clothes too.

CLUMSY BEHAVIOR...liking knocking water glasses over during meals.

IGNORING REQUESTS/COMMANDS. *sigh* he does this a lot. I have to repeat myself 5x's and then threaten him before he complies with anything. We battle so much over putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, putting on socks (he still cries when he can't put his socks on), shoes on, coat on, etc etc.

ABILITY TO RIDE A TRICYCLE/balance bike/scooter. *SIGH* again. We have older boy cousins who have handed down a balance bike and a tricycle. I know its not good to compare but one boy was riding his balance bike at 2.5. I see neighborhood kids who look like they are 2.5-3 years old cruising by us on their scooters. My son gets frustrated and then gives up before we are even at the end of the block.

I'm trying to gauge whether my son has delays or whether this is all normal behavior for his age. He's always been a bit on the difficult side (i.e. doing exactly the opposite of what you ask him to do.) but I can't tell whether he's just "spirited" and will get it when he's ready or whether there is something I should be looking into.