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FIL was 57 when DH was born. He was 63 when SIL was born. For most of DH's life he really enjoyed having an older dad. FIL's career was really successful at that point and it afforded them a rather luxurious lifestyle. FIL was also an active guy, always traveling and participating in their sports.

Now, it's harder. FIL is 90 and in failing health. We had a quickie marriage ceremony ahead of our wedding partly so that FIL could attend as he couldn't travel to our wedding. He has luckily been able to spend time with DD but may not meet our next children.

Another issues has been DH's relationship with his elder half-siblings. They are the same age as my parents and making end-of-life decisions for your father is difficult with siblings that often regard you as a child or some how less than.

my parents were not older, they were pretty young, but one of my BFFs when i was younger had a much older dad, he was the same age as my grandfather (who wasn't THAT old). when i was young my parents had to work a lot, they were young & built a house and sent us to private school and took us on great vacations, but to do so they had to work a lot & my dad worked weird hours. this friend with an older dad, her dad was retired and everyday he brought her to school and everyday he was there waiting when school got out. he was always at every school function, even the ones during the day, we could always go to her house because someone was always there to watch us, he volunteered at all sorts of things at school and was really involved in all her hobbies. i would never trade my parents for anyone, but there was a feeling of envy that she had someone there that had so much time and attention to give her. he was a little slower and wasn't one of the 'cool' dads that drove sporty cars and listened to cool music and was cool because they were always so busy that they'd let us do whatever we wanted as long as we stayed out of their way, but he was still great. he didn't have the temper of most of the younger, stressed out workaholic dads, he always seemed like he genuinely wanted to do stuff with us and was interested, he always had time for us.

maybe older parents don't get as many years with their children, but so many really seem to make those years count. if you both feel like it's the right thing for your family, age isn't a deal breaker just because, there are some benefits to being older.

My parents were in their 30’s when I was born, so not really “older”; but my husband is an older first time dad.

My husband was 47 when our LO was born and he definitely has no trouble keeping up with her! The only health issues he has are things that could affect someone of any age. I don’t really follow the part about it being financially unfair to have another because your husband will be retired - - wouldn’t that be a bonus? If you’re finally stable enough for him to retire, that means he’ll have more time than the average dad to spend with your teens. If having a second would definitely delay retirement though; then that’s a consideration, I think. Just wasn’t sure what you meant there.

My husband has 2 friends who also had babies within a month of our LO, and all of them are as active as any other parent, we have several friends who didn’t have kids until their 40’s and my OB’s husband was in his 50’s when their daughters were born; so I definitely feel more people are waiting on become parents.

My in-laws are 70 and 72 and they are not “old” acting; both live in their own homes, travel frequently and don’t need any sort of assistance. My parents are a bit younger (late 60’s) and my mom has had some health issues, but they are also active and everything. They keep LO overnight sometimes and it isn’t a burden or something that completely wipes them out. I have no concerns about them keeping up with LO. My grandpa was 50 when my dad was born, and he had a heart attack at 62 and died when my dad was 12; but he also lived hard and didn’t take care of himself. So; there are risks with becoming a parents at any age!

My BIL is 52 and has a 16, 13, 6 and 2 year old. He has no trouble keeping up with any of them. I think the little ones help him stay "young".

Growing up, my parents were always the "older" parents of my group of friends. My mom was 36 and dad was 41. I never had issues with it.

DH's dad was 42 when he was born, 46 or 47 for his sister. DH is 37 now and his father just turned 80. It never limited him.

Might actually be motivation for your DH to take good care of himself! My FIL has gone to the gym thrice weekly forever and is still in wonderful shape! He hasn't slowed down at all since his 40s, it's a big joke among his friends that his dad seemed so old when they were kids but he hasn't aged since. It also really made DH value his father earlier on because he knew he might have less time with him.

My mom was 41 and my dad was 46 when I was born . (I'm my mom's first child) as a child I never really noticed that my parents were older, my dad retired when he was 55 due to health issues, but they are both fine now. They've been great parents and are great grandparents now, playing with LO a lot. All issues we had when I was growing up had nothing to do with age.
DHs mom was 33 and his dad was 39 when he was born. His mom died in 2011 and his dad is very sick now and will probably only live for a few more month.
You'll never know how long you'll live or how healthy you'll be. It really helped me that someone told me to imagine what kind of family I want to have 20 years from now. How I want it to be at holidays and how many people I want at my table. DH and I both want a big family, so if we get pregnant again (and hopefully again) age shouldn't keep us from trying.

DH's parents were in their 40s, and while he had financial opportunities that his (much older) siblings didn't, he laments that his dad wasn't able to do some of the more physical things he could with them. He could cheer DH on, but he wasn't able to play ball the same way with him, and he wasn't able to move DH into clollege, for example. DH also never knew his grandparents, which he felt like was hard. Luckily they're still in good health, and I do think kids keep you young!

@MoonMoon: well, your question is a hard one for me. My parents were 36 when they had me and 41 when they had my little sister. Growing up, as PPs have said, I don't think my little sister ever thought of them as "older". Both of my parents were extremely fit, active, took care of their health, etc.

However, my dad got cancer at 55 and passed away at 57. Of course, cancer can happen at any age, but heart disease related issues and cancer (the two leading causes of death in adults) increase exponentially as you get older.

And then... my little sister has schizophrenia. No close family has ever had it (no first degree relatives anyway) but after she was diagnosed, one of her doctors did tell us that there is research showing that schizophrenia is more common in children of older fathers. My little sister is the youngest of 6 and none of the rest of us have any mental illnesses--no history of depression, bipolar, anything. As this article states, MOST children of older fathers will be okay---but the risk is higher.

My mom, who is now 69, just retired two weeks ago. She is still super fit and active and gets around better than my MIL, who is 9 years younger. She goes to the gym 5 times a week and rides horses, and has a lot on her plate in caring for my sister, who will probably never be able to live independently.

Just because of my own family experience (and working with my not-so-great genetic history), I want to be done having kids by 36--and I am 34 now. I'd just rather keep the risks lower since I've seen the toll my sister's illness has taken on my mom.

Sorry this response was long---if I were you though, I'd be torn. If I wanted more children, I'm the type of person who would probably take the risk that they will be okay. =)

My dad was 51 and my mom was 40 when I was born. I have mixed feelings. On one hand, they were already well-established and able to take us on several nice vacations a year, send us to the best private schools and since they were retired, spend a lot of time with us. On the other, my father was markedly older. He couldn't play with us, couldn't pick is up (had a bad back) and now in my mid twenties I'm dealing with his Alzheimer's diagnosis. He was still somewhat lucid for my wedding but unfortunately when my 26 year old sister gets married, he won't know who she is or what's going on. I wish my children got the chance to know him

My mom was 42 when she had me and 45 when she had my sister. Honestly, I didn't ever really think about or notice that my mom was "older." She just seems the same as other moms! She's going to be 70 this year and I really can't believe it because she seems so much younger than that. Obviously barring any unforeseen health problems, I do think that age really is "just a number." Oh, and my dad is ten years younger, so they are similar to you and your H (but opposite, haha).