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I've wondered the same thing about medication, because my son was waking consistently at 4am for the day for months this past spring/summer WILD with sleep deprivation and refused his naps too. We tried everything consistently too - and nothing worked. We bought the "okay to wake" clock and that was working about 50% of the time for about a month then finally one day he sort of shifted his schedule on his own and now regularly sleeps a little later. But we have given him Benadryl in the past for car rides (per our doctors instructions) because he HATED the car for the first 2.5 years of his life and would make himself hoarse screaming and fight sleep. So I was going to bring that up with his doctor as a possible treatment for the early morning wake ups before he reset on his own. Good luck!
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@Mama Bird: you mentioned she naps in her car seat - is that for every nap? If so maybe that's a problem at night since she is laying flat in a crib?
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if you plan to sleep train, i'd consider moving your mattress to the living room so you and your husband can get some distance and she can learn that it's not time to party. there are a lot of great tips here. i also second trying to make the bedroom as boring as possible- tape the windows with foil or trash bags. white noise as loud as possible. no toys in the crib.... and definitely stick to it.
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I'm late to the party, but another vote for earlier bedtime. Ditto @looch: about missing the window since she's rubbing eyes at dinner. If your husband isn't on board, there is SO MUCH reading material on why and how it works. He can't really fight with science.
Also want to echo the idea of @gingerbebe: about making wake ups BORING BORING BORING. By engaging her and going for walks you're giving incentive to wake up.
You have to be consistent for these things to work. -
Oh man. That's rough!
My thoughts:
Move out of your room so she has her own space. In a crib where she can't escape. Let her cry. Go in if needed but don't pick her up and definitely don't take her walking around. She's probably just so smart she knows you're going to come get her and go for a walk.
Get ear plugs and white noise for you and your husband. Loud white noise for both kids. Stick to it. There is a regression around that age i believe.
Good luck!!!
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@IRunForFun: @SCARLETBEGONIA: that's a good idea about going to a sleep specialist. A co-worker told me about something like that before DD was even born. His son had similar problems, so I guess I'd been warned that this could happen!
@PEACHES1038: @MAMAOF2: she does nap in her car seat... not a good habit, but it started because she screamed bloody murder when we put her down for naps, and had to be rocked. Now she falls asleep very nicely, but it's the only time we get half a break so I don't want to mess up her naps too. She naps fine in a crib in day care though. I guess it's just a matter of habit...
@SHOOTINGSTAR: @DAHLIA: @TURQUOISEMAMA: @BABYTSMOM: @MRS. CHAMPAGNE: yeah, I agree, she's probably ready for boot camp. Now if only I could get DH to agree to take DS to his brother's for a few days! I can deal with one non-sleeping baby, I can deal with two tired grumpy guys, but I 100% cannot deal with both at the same time! Realistically, I think we just have to hang in there till we move to a bigger place and can let her fuss without waking everyone.
@MRSSRS: @2LITTLEPUMPKINS: @SWEETIEPIE: I tried early bedtime again yesterday. She was rubbing her eyes at dinner. I even convinced DH to let me grab her the instant dinner was over, and help with the usual bedtime routine. Only I looked like an idiot again - she nursed, climbed out of my lap, and went off to party for another hour. Maybe I'm misreading her signals and bedtime isn't the issue after all...
@CHUCKLES: no worries, I'm very interested in solving this case too! She does nap once most of the time. It's usually 2-3 hours and she wakes up by 2-3 PM. Her bedtime is 9-9:30. We usually have the same routine - bath, nursing and bedtime story, and then if she doesn't fall asleep DH rocks her for a while.
@KEMMA: yes, I wonder if something's wrong with her circadian rhythm! She isn't outside a lot lately. Her day care isn't great about getting the kids outside when it gets colder. I'm thinking I'll spend as much time outdoors with her as I can over the weekend. Maybe it will help her.
@MODERN DAISY: 4 AM wakeups sound awful! I'm glad he grew out of that. DD did that too for a while... it's slightly better than parties in the middle of the night, but still brutal.
Thank you all so much! I really appreciate all of your ideas. I can't really do much about DD being in our room at the moment, but will at least make sure to be more consistent. And yesterday night she was only up once, and DH got up and rocked her back to sleep - so much happiness!
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@Mama Bird: 9:00-9:30 sounds like a really late bedtime for a toddler. I think bedtime is supposed to be roughly 11-12 hours before you want them to be awake.
Keep trying an earlier bed time. If she's rubbing her eyes - you've already missed her sleep window and cortisol has kicked in.
Definetly get some help from a sleep coach. As other posters have said the key to success is consistency. Figure out the plan and stick to it - no matter what. If you are inconsistent, you're just teaching LO that she is in charge and can dictate bed time/middle of the night playtime.
I know sleep training is hard (especially when you are exhausted), but it's SO worth the investment of time and energy to get your sleep back. It's temporary pain for long term gain.
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@Mama Bird: My daughter is 18 months. Around 15 months she dropped to one nap a day around 12:30 for 2ish hours. She goes to be around 6:30 sometimes she chats or babbles in her crib for 30-45min but we just leave her. She sleeps until 6:30..
It sounds like you really need to improve the sleep hygiene, naps in the crib, earlier bedtime, even wake her in the morning if needed to get her on a bit of a more predicable schedule. If you don't think you can do it alone, I know lots of people who have hired a sleep consultant to help figure out a plan and help execute it.
Good luck!
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