If your families contributed toward the cost of your wedding. What was the percentage of the total that your husbands family and your family contributed (separately)? Were there stipulations on what the money was to be used for? Are traditions like the grooms parents pay for rehearsal dinner and alcohol and the brides parents pay for everything else followed anymore?
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My in-laws were awful about money. They didn't even think they had to pay for the rehearsal (which we did super low key with trays of food, etc). But DH was the eldest in their whole family so they had no experience. By the time the next two got married, they were cutting checks left and right.
There was definitely an expectation the bride's family would pay for everything from my in-laws. DH and I did what we could and my parents couldn't afford anything so they had no demands. My grandfather randomly gave us money so that was tremendously helpful, but he had no strings.
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My dad paid for my dress (gave me a budget) and then a set amount that we could use however we liked. I think it was about a third of what the reception cost, but we used it for things like the car and coaches etc. My MIL paid for photography and bouquets and button holes, and the meals of people we had to invite but didn't know. DH's aunt gifted us the flowers in the church. We paid for the reception ourselves.
My dad did exactly the same for each daughter. DH's family gave different amounts to each child, including paying for one son's wedding in its entirety.
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My parents paid 100% of the wedding costs and my inlaws paid 100% of the rehearsal. I would guess the rehearsal cost about 20% of what the wedding cost? Because of my husband's schedule we didn't go on a honeymoon but we would have paid for that ourselves if we did.
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My mother paid for the catering at the reception and a few things at the church (I know she paid the organist, I think she might have paid one or two other things?)
I don't remember what DH's mom paid for (if anything).
DH and I were both well established adults when we got married and didn't have any expectation of our moms paying for anything. If they wanted to, that was fine. But we planned to pay for everything.
I think the traditional roles of parents paying is geared more toward those who get married younger and can't pay for themselves. After a certain age it starts to seem a little silly.
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Ours was traditional. My parents paid for the wedding. His parents paid for the rehearsal dinner (to which all out of town guests were invited) and post-wedding brunch. We paid for our rings, and the honeymoon was a wedding gift to me from DH.
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My in-laws paid for the majority of our wedding, per their desire. They paid for everything except: catering (my parents), dress (my parents), venue (my grandma), the photographer and other little incidentals (us)
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My parents told me they could afford to give us a set amount. It ended up being 30% what we spent total on the wedding and honeymoon. ILs gave us 10%, and then they also paid for my bouquet and some more flowers that the southern tradition the groom's family paid for. I can't remember. Then they paid 100% of the rehearsal dinner.
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My parents paid for the majority of the wedding. Certain things were gifted to me by church members (flowers, rehearsal dinner venue, reception venue, wedding cake). I paid for the save the dates/invitations/programs. My inlaws didn't pay for anything.
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My parents paid for 75% of everything. DH and I paid the rest. His parents didn't contribute.
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My parents (bride) paid for 3/4 of the wedding. DH and I paid for the rest. There was never a clear line of who was paying for what, but my mom and I planned most everything together. She and I paid for things directly so it was never like they we giving us money. There was never really an agreement on who is paying for what, although there was many times she insisted they pay when we offered.
DH's parents paid for the rehearsal dinner.
After the fact, we got a card and check from DH's parents. I'm not sure if it was considered a wedding gift or not, but there was a post-it note on the check saying, "to cover the cost of florals". Not sure if that was tradition or not. It was just a bit strange because they weren't involved in picking the flowers or knew how much they cost.
I think DH's family covered similar costs for his other brothers. I'm almost certain DH's family paid for his sister's wedding entirely. They have very defined gender roles in his family.
My brother isn't married yet, not sure what my parents will do for him. I think they would probably try to keep the total amount they spent on each of us the same - whether it was in the form of paying for parts of the wedding or as a wedding gift.
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My dad gave me a set amount and told me I could use it however I wanted. We eloped (though my dad was invited) and went on a great honeymoon.
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DH and I contributed minimally. I bought my dress - DH did his Tux and his groomsmen gifts (some of their attire).
My parents did about 75% DH's did 25% (bar tab and rehearsal dinner).
Only blow up was when MIL said "you should serve filet" in response to our decision to offer a short rib option or a chicken wellington option (which were both fab) - our response was simply "if you want to pay the difference in price we will".
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My parents paid for everything except the rehearsal dinner which my MIL paid for.
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My inlaws paid for a lot. So much so that dh refused to tell me the amount since they wrote the check to him. They also paid for and organized the rehearsal.
As for my side, my mom died about 10 months before the wedding and I don't think my dad quite realized what he was supposed to do. I kinda guilty him into writing a check which was prob around 5% of the cost.
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My parents offered to pay for our reception -- so they basically covered reception venue, food and drink. We paid for my dress, my husband's tux rental, rehearsal dinner, invitations, DJ, etc. Basically everything else, haha. Although my ILs also gave us a check for whatever we wanted. We used it towards our honeymoon.
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We paid 100% for our wedding b/c our parents helped us out a ton on the house we bought.
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It was a three-way split, when we included honeymoon costs, between my parents, DH's parents, and our own money.
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Our families split it 50/50. My parents really appreciated it because my oldest sister the family paid for rehearsal only, and my youngest sister there was not a dime of financial contribution (my mom actually paid for her MIL's dress as a gift because they had no money for one.)
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Both sets did 25%, we did the rest. No stipulations on what to use it for!
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My ILs gifted the same amount to all 3 sons. No stipulations on what it was to be used towards. It worked out to about 20% of our total wedding cost.
My mom gifted us about 40%. My one brother also gifted us a very generous cash gift and the other our Hummer Limo & videographer along with a generous cash gift.
No one placed any stipulations.
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My parents paid for 100% of the wedding, and my in-laws paid for the rehearsal dinner and the brunch the day after the wedding.
DH and I paid for honeymoon.
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My parents paid for 100% of the wedding and his parents paid for 100% of the rehearsal dinner.
ETA: We paid for our own honeymoon.
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My mother planned to pay for the wedding, but her money came with strings attached- CONTROL. We declined and decided to have a much lower key, smaller wedding than we would have had someone else been paying for the majority of it. My mom did reimburse me for my wedding attire and paid for my hair & make up.
My ILs or my dad never offered/expected to pay for any part of the wedding and did not. NBD
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His parents paid for the rehearsal dinner, mine paid for most of the wedding. DH and I wound up paying for the alcohol and a few random things like the invitations and the other DIY stuff just because it was simpler that way.
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We paid for our wedding. We did receive checks from both my parents and grandparents after the fact which was unexpected but generous of them. I think DHs parents paid for booze.
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MIL gave us 30% of our budget. My mom gave us 10% and we paid the rest.
My BIL is currently planning a wedding. His fiancé's family is paying for the entire wedding. He's receiving the same amount from MIL that we received and it will be paying for the rehearsal dinner.
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My parents gave 75% and DH's 25%. We could use the money how we wanted and if we wanted to save it, we could have. We used it all and it paid for everything except gifts for our parents and our rings.
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We paid for everything ourselves. My in-laws gave us some money as a wedding gift, which was awesome, but we weren't expecting it, so it wasn't included in our wedding/honeymoon budget.
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It was split pretty equally between us, my mom, and my in laws. We used it however we needed.
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My mom paid for the venue/catering. My amazing ILs paid for the rehearsal and honeymoon. I got a check from my grandparents that covered photographer/florist/dress. No stipulations from anyone. It was a great wedding!
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My parents gave us a pretty big cheque, which covered about 75% of the cost. There were no rules or anything about how to spend it, but they also gave us a pretty large guest list that we didn't really feel like we could cut down. We paid for the rest of the wedding ourselves. My in laws paid for the rehearsal dinner but we had a barbecue at my parents' house, so that was a pretty minimal cost.
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We paid for our clothing, the florist and the photographer. My parents paid for the reception.
My inlaws did not contribute, they paid for their airfare, which was more than enough.
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My inlaws paid for suit hire and my bouquet. My mum paid for my dress. My inlaws offered to give us more but we refused - so they gave us a cheque for our wedding gift, which we put towards a deposit for our house.
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My parents paid for 100% of our rehearsal and wedding. My IL's paid for nothing nor did they offer.
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My mom bought my dress. My in laws didn't pay for any of the wedding per se but they gave us a very generous cash gift the day of the wedding.
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We paid for attire, rings, DJ, all paper products/invites, wedding party gifts, hair/makeup, and honeymoon . My ILs paid for a very nice rehearsal dinner and my parents paid for everything else. We had a very nice wedding but it was not extravagant and on the smallish side (right under 100 guests). I still can't believe the expense of it all!
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We paid for pretty much everything. In laws paid for appetizers and my parents paid rehearsal dinner.
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My ILs paid for everything except for my dress (which my parents paid for). There were no stipulations, although they did tell DH that he hoped we would get married at their church. I also made a huge effort to include MIL in all our meetings because I felt sort of weird about them paying so much for the wedding. But they only have boys and really wanted to go all out helping with our wedding, especially since my own parents weren't in the financial place to help.
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We paid 50% (most of it was my husband... I was making like, 1/10 of what he made when we got married), his parents gave us 25%, and my dad gave us 25%. My mom bought my dress and paid for the dragon/lion dancers, which ended up being about 3%... so I guess we really paid 47%.
No stipulations on how we spend the money. DH's parents also paid for the rehearsal dinner.
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44 comments