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I feel shy saying this but I wouldn't use it. Not for a name my sister called. Also your dh doesn't love it, so for me that would be a no.

@Greentea: i agree with the second part. the fact that your DH doesn't love it probably means you will end up picking another name anyway. I would still take this experience as a learning point to not share with anyone else your name choices!

If you and your DH had already decided you loved it and it was "the one" then I would still use it. But because your DH doesn't love it and your sister knows that now I probably wouldn't use it.

Nope, sorry, no one decides what to name my kids but me (and DH, haha). I would even use a name someone else already used if it's truly my favorite. So I wouldn't worry about it, though it sounds like you may not end up picking it if your H doesn't love it!

I did vote to use it but @greentea:'s response got me thinking. My sister has always said she wants to use my late uncle's name for a boy so, even though I love it, I was willing to use it as a middle name instead of a first for her.

@pui: agreed.

When my ex and I were dating we were talking about getting engaged and I had a favorite boy name. Found out that ex-BF's sister had the same favorite name! Although we were friendly about it, we started a competition on who would have a boy first so they could use the name. Well, ex-BF and I obviously broke up, she did marry her BF from that time and they chose a completely different name! I'm married to DH now and we chose a completely difference name (although admittedly it was in our top 5! Never changed how much I loved it).

So like PUI said, she may not ever use it. Tastes change.

I would still use it if you absolutely love it.

If it is a family name, I don't feel like you can't call dibs on it. If she loves it that much, she can use it as well. Tastes and ideas change over time, I know I didn't use the names I once thought I would and who knows, maybe her future SO will have family name they prefer more.

Also, it'd be one thing if your sister had said "Oh I totally want to name my future kid Hugh" and you got the idea from her and decided to use it... But YOU said it first. Why should she get to call dibs on a name you thought of independently? It's not like you stole her idea.

I think your husband maybe not liking it is the bigger issue. But that aside, yes I think you can still use it. I would not use it if she had said for years that she was going to use that name. If it was like, a well known thing forever then I feel like it would be wrong to go ahead and use it. But since she never said anything until AFTER you said you loved it… too bad.

I wouldn't. My sister isn't married but told me she loved a certain name. I know she might not use it , but if I were to use it I think I would feel guilty, like I'm rubbing it in I have two kids and she had none.

The idea that my sister and I liked the same name would suggest to me that it is not the right name for me

However, I find that thinking about a name for a baby that doesn't exist yet (ie the unmarried, not pregnant, not even close) is very different from thinking about a baby name when the baby is imminent.

I would probably move onto another name since it sounds like she is REALLY stuck on that name and you aren't. But if you feel the same way then go for it and use the name.

I also never talk to anybody about baby names! I don't even want to have this argument with people, so if I don't tell them anything and never discuss it, they can't accuse me of stealing their baby names. I've chosen my names and that's that.

This reminds me of that Sex and the City episode where Charlotte freaks out because someone stole her baby name "Sheila" or something like that. Well, years later, when she does have two girl, neither of them are called Sheila!

Also, it's really common in Greek families for cousins to have the same name because it's tradition to name the children after the grandparents. Have we not seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding: all the cousins were Anita, Diane, or Nick. Mostly Nick it seems (he must have been popular).

All that is to say that you should chose the name you want, rather than save it for her as she may never marry, have children, have a boy, or end up using the name in the end. Names are names - you don't get to dictate what other people name their children.

I would use it! If I were in your Sister's position and you said what you were thinking of, I wouldn't dream of saying what she did. I think it's first come first serve! You should have just turned around and said "actually, it's my name. you can't use it".

Because your sister didn't announce that Hugh was 'her' name until after you mentioned it, I would probably use it. However, if your DH doesn't love it, I wouldn't push for it. If that's the name you choose, great, but I wouldn't go out of your way to use the name, if you know what I mean.

I really hate people calling dibs in general. I live by the philosophy that only once someone has a fetus in them do they get to declare a name. Opinions change so much throughout the course of a life that it seems silly. There was actually some drama in my social circle about this and when I was pregnant a non-engaged friend "called" two names that were on my list. I didn't care but my husband did so he wouldn't consider them. It was annoying! Maybe I should go around and call the 5 girl names I love

I'm not sure I believe in calling dibs on names at all, but I REALLY don't believe on calling dibs when one person is pregnant and the person calling dibs is single. But I probably wouldn't use the name anyways if DH doesn't love it.

In this case I would let it go. I happen to know that my sis likse a name that I love too, and I would consider using it even though they might not be done having kids. they didn't use it for their first boy so I don't think I can't use it because of that!

I personally think dibs is silly. Use the name you want.