Hi Everyone,

This is not pregnancy or baby related but I really want to hear others experience when it comes to family responsibilities.

I come from a family of four kids. I moved away for school to the other end of the country almost 12 years ago. Culturally, this is not common. I ended up staying here and my parents made peace with it. Of course, they miss me and now that I have a LO they miss us even more. I go out to visit twice a year, more now that I am on mat leave but its a 5 hour plane ride.

My brother moved here for school as well almost 4 years ago and I dont know if he will be moving back. That leaves my older and younger sister.

Here's the current situation...my younger sister got an offer for a full time permanent position (some moving expenses paid) out here...and she got offered a casual position 2 hours away from my parents home. She loves being near my parents and grandfather. However, she is super excited about this opportunity and moving to the west coast. She is quite attached to my parents and grandfather and niece and nephews out there. She also feels a sense of responsibility to my parents and grandfather, especially since they are older now. My mom does not speak much english, but she manages just fine. My grandfather is in his late 80s and he misses all of us so much. She (and I) hate the thought of him feeling alone and we all feel as if we abandoned our family now.

I am feeling so guilty for not having been there for my parents and grandfather, although i try hard to help them out with things from here. I also feel guilty for opening up that option to have my siblings move out here.

She is torn and has to let everyone know by next week. She feels like is such a good opportunity and she really likes it out west and she feels like she needs a change.

any advice to give her...anyone else feel this knot of guilt for abandoning their parents...

There is no chance my parents would move here as my older sister has kids and they have a large community of friends that they have had for over 30 years since immigrating to Canada.