-
@bizwitch: @Tionn3: Can I ask what the cost is for IVF? I know it depends on what insurance covers, but isn't it crazy expensive, like $20,000+?
I see some people doing round after round and wonder what they do for a living! -
@Tionn3: I'm sort of envious that you think you can find peace with being childless. Emotionally that is not an option for me.
-
@mrskansas: I have Kaiser in California, so there is no health insurance coverage for IVF. I think at Kaiser the cost of IVF is $10,000 (but this is in the bay area and I am in Southern California, so not sure if it is accurate) and that doesn't include the cost of drugs which I'm not even sure how much those cost. Probably another $5,000? There are some places that have shared risk programs where you pay twice as much but they supposedly "guarantee" a live birth. I think those programs are $30,000, but if you are unsuccessful after a certain number of tries they give you your money back. Connecticut and Massachusetts I believe cover the cost of IVF for like 3 rounds. California basically sucks. lol
-
@Tionn3: wow that is insane!
I saw someone doing IVF purely so they could have a boy. I can't get over paying that much just to have a son vs a daughter. -
@mrskansas: @Tionn3: @bizwitch: Here where I live, IVF where I work is about $11k-13k.
-
@bizwitch: @Tionn3: My insurance covers some IUIs so that obviously is still on the table for us, I don't know about IVF since we have no coverage for that. I am totally not ready to say I could be childfree, but I don't know what we will do in the future. I am sorry that we are all in a place where we need to think about what we can afford in order to build our families.
-
@snarkybiochemist: I feel like infertility coverage should be required for all health insurance plans. It is so cruel and insulting that it isn't.
-
@Tionn3: OH god I wish it was
-
@Tionn3: yeah, that would be so comforting for many people.
-
I'm on 10dpo and I literally don't feel anything. I don't even have my normal breast tenderness that I get every month. I'm not even particularly moody. Gah, I just want this cycle to hurry up and be over so I can move on!
-
@Tionn3: Maybe this is your cycle
-
I'm so bummed. I had a lot of red discharge while wiping this morning so I'm wearing a tampon anticipating AF's arrival. I almost cried this morning to DH and he kind of brushed it off like, "oh well, next round." Then I got mad because I hoped he would be more sympathetic and I pointed out that he doesn't understand how I feel and what I have to go through. Then he said it's probably because me stressing out about it isn't helping. So then I just stormed out of the house. I'm not mad at him, per se. I just didn't need him to be rational at the time. I wanted someone to commiserate with me. So here I am.
-
@madisonbee: My husband said the exact same thing our first medicated cycle and I had the same reaction. Later when I was feeling calm I broke it down for him and explained that not only was it hard on me taking hormones, but I was being monitored with ultrasounds and blood work and that reminding me I have to do this all over again for however many months was not helpful. I told him flat out I am both disappointed that this didn't work and also angry I have to go through this again I need you to feel some sympathy at first and then remind me that we can do this against when I'm feeling better
-
@madisonbee: Guys just don't get it because they aren't the ones physically going through everything.
My husband is amazing and incredibly supportive, but even with my ectopic & MC he didn't really "get" it and kept saying, just move on, these things happen. I didn't appreciate it at the time, but it is nice to have someone who isn't as emotionally involved to keep you rational, you know?
I'm sorry that you're dealing with this though. Feel free to come here and vent whenever because we all get it
-
@madisonbee: my husband said some line about my stress levels not helping anything, and even though he was probably right I still didn't want or need to hear it in that moment. Men just don't experience TTC in the same way that we do. I'm sorry this cycle wasn't it for you
-
@Synchronicity: @mrskansas: @snarkybiochemist: thanks, ladies.
I understand what he means. When I'm more calm, I'll break it down for him. But I really wanted it to feel like it was a "we" issue, not just ME. He's such a guy. -
P.S. I wish TTC-ers were allowed a day off from work at the end of a cycle to shut out the rest of the world. Now I have to go in and work with babies all freaking day.
-
@madisonbee:
-
@madisonbee: Both to deal with the sadness of not being pregnant and the awfulness that is cramping and bleeding
-
@madisonbee: you're totally right. A we issue! That's what I wanted from my husband, too. He is good with all the sex in the world but the temping and OPKs and vitamins and obsessive chart-checking, he didn't have to deal with any of that and I just wanted that acknowledged. I do share my chart with him now and he is way more interested than I gave him credit for. He is just so much more relaxed than I am in general... Anxiety central over here.
All that to say I totally get what you are saying and feel the same way. We got you, lady!
-
Does anyone keep testing after their first positive OPK? If so, what happens after the 1st positive? More positives or does it turn negative quickly?
-
@mrskansas: I usually get two positives and then fade out to baseline over a few days. I keep checking to make sure that I didn't miscalculate when O happened. This cycle I only got one positive/almost positve before fading out fast.
-
@azjax: I got one positive last Wednesday night and then tested with FMU Thursday and it was close to positive but lighter than the night before. I didn't test beyond that because I didn't want to stress myself out, but now I'm worried that the surge was too short.
I know I shouldn't even worry about it though. -
@Synchronicity: I think I'll try sharing more of what I have to do or monitor (minus the CM part...he might not stomach that). I also think internalizing what I'm going through tends to make me more moody and snap at him, even though we're talking about something completely unrelated to TTC. Thanks for listening
-
The best part of an unmedicated cycle is currently no progesterone suppositories. Obviously if I get pregnant I will likely be put on them and I will do it for a healthy baby and pregnancy, but to have 2 weeks of not dealing with the white gloopy discharge and the extra progesterone based side effects I am happy.
@madisonbee: my husband really needed me to spell it out for him, so now I make a point of mentioning how many vials of blood, how the transvaginal went if it was uncomfortable or took longer then usual or whatever. Obviously getting monitored by an RE ups this further but I knew I couldn't continue how we were when I was temping, which was just me announcing hey we should have lots of sex over the next few days. he was really disconnected then and didn't understand at all. -
@Tionn3 @snarkybiochemist @mrskansas: Totally. Mine is covered up to diagnosis. And my diagnosis is "unexplained infertility." So I don't see how that's really a diagnosis.
I believe IVF is about $15k with my RE. That is per cycle. We could probably only do one cycle. We can finance it, which would be our only option. I do think that if I told my parents we were doing IVF they might kick in some money.
A friend of ours got pregnant on the first round of IVF with the very same RE, which gives me hope. She had diminished ovarian reserve and she said IVF was their only option.
-
Oh and I feel like a total failure today because I forgot to take my Clomid last night. It was CD 5 and I'm supposed to take it 3-7. I don't even want to call the RE because I'm embarrassed.
Basically what happened is my husband was being a huge jerk for NO REASON at all and I got super pissed and hid out at a friend's house until like 11:30 at night when I knew he'd be asleep. Then when I got home I was so tired I just went straight to bed without taking it. I feel like an idiot. All this money and time and emotional strain and I screw up the simplest thing in the world. I'm not even going to tell my husband because I don't think he'll be supportive about it.
-
@bizwitch: I'm sorry you are only covered through diagnosis. Hopefully you don't need IVF. I'm not sure how much IVF would cost at my RE, I haven't wanted too look yet, but $15,000 seems about average. When we started this process my mom pulled me aside and told me that her and my dad would be more then willing to help me achieve this financially if I needed and I was shocked. My mom feels really bad that she can't fix this for me and give me a baby and she feels a bit responsible since she had a lot of trouble conceiving me
-
@madisonbee:
-
@madisonbee: hugs!! It's never a we issue here either. He did what I asked him to (which for things like iui required some awkward activities) but he was never really emotionally involved. That said we took a Bradley birth class and that helped him be much more involved in the birth process!
I got a lot of ttc venting relief from the bee and also from writing in a private blog (so basically a journal).
-
@mrskansas: don't worry! I've had cycles where I never even see a true positive, just close, but still know I ovulated. Too many variables to worry about what the opk shows
-
I cannot stop yawning at work today. I shouldn't be tired but I think I'm just bored and it's making me sleepy.
Anyone else here a football fan? Falcons or Patriots? Any plans for the Superbowl?
-
@mrskansas: Ugh the Patriots. (We're fair weather Steelers fans.)
No football for me... this weekend we are cleaning out the garage because we are getting a new garage door installed next week! No more having to pull up the 50+ pound 60+ year old one-panel door that scrapes on the ceiling!!
-
@bizwitch: Well I'm a KC fan so it pains me to cheer for either team but I really hope Atlanta wins.
But yay for a new garage door! We just finished renovating our guest bathroom and now we are moving on to the master. It's gutted now so I'm excited for my husband to start on putting it back together! -
@madisonbee: did it progress to full on period? I hope your day at work is ok. Is it totally crazy on your floor? I can't wait till winter is over. Back to work today (in 2 more hours). I am kinda bummed because of how my schedule is this week. We never dtd when I get home from work at midnight since my husband is already sleeping for early work. We really should have yesterday but didn't manage to :(. Just monday.
-
@mrskansas: Rooting for the Falcons. Cannot STAND the Patriots.
@junebugsmama: Hmm. No. Back to light brown spotting.
I work in a clinic, so it was full of all kinds of babies (normal and healthy to complex and fragile). I'm just trying to get through today so I can go home and be pathetic in bed. Lol. Is it too late for you to get BD time in?
-
@bizwitch: Oooh new garage door! That's exciting! Love home improvement stuff
-
So I have embraced some of the crazy fertility theories and have decided to eat pineapple over the next 4 days. I don't have a lot of hope for this cycle, so I might as well do what I can to boost my chances.
-
Feeling very full of doom and gloom lately. Wonder if it is the Clomid. Also probably the fight w/ my husband last night and my boss being a pain in the neck doesn't help.
Feeling very much like I will never have children. Feeling like my life is utterly tragic. Feeling like I want to cry at the drop of a hat.
Also I have some sort of vaginal infection which is really fun. I'm pretty certain it's not a yeast infection so I need to go to the doctor. Why is it so hard to get a next-day gyno appointment? What do they want me to do, go to the ER? I called today and she offered me an appointment on the 14th. Like yeah I'll just hang out with this itchy vag and weird brown discharge for two weeks, NBD.
-
@bizwitch: Clomid gave me some really intense emotions, so I would not be surprised that you are feeling down while on it. Make sure you talk to your doctor about it. I'm sorry you can't get a soon gyno appt, itchy vaginal discharge should really be a next day or two appt.
I work in a clinic, so it was full of all kinds of babies (normal and healthy to complex and fragile). I'm just trying to get through today so I can go home and be pathetic in bed. Lol. Is it too late for you to get BD time in?
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite1
1559 comments