I'm at a total loss here. I've been on and off SSRIs for severe anxiety for over a decade and before TTC switched from a category X medication to a category C medication (Lexapro) which my doctor said had small risks associated with it, but the benefits for me outweighed them.

Well at 13 weeks I went for a med check and he had a different stance and said there are more known risks now with babies experiencing withdrawal and he wanted me to switch to Buspar which is a non-SSRI specifically meant to treat anxiety. I hemmed and hawed over what to do, spoke to one of the midwives at my practice, and she agreed it might be a good idea to try it, so I did.

I went through SSRI withdrawal which sucked and have increased the dose of Buspar once because it didn't seem to be working for me. It's been 6.5 weeks now and I basically feel like I'm not medicated at all and my anxiety is as bad as ever. I'm having trouble eating, sleeping, and being productive. I haven't gained a single pound in that 7 weeks. I feel like I'm in a constant state of tension and I've had several panic attacks.

I saw a different midwife in my practice last week and explained the situation and she said I could go back on a low dose of the Lexapro for now and then wean back off at 36 weeks to avoid baby going through withdrawal after birth. She recommended I talk to my primary about it though since he was my prescriber for the past decade.

Thinking about adjusting to the Lexapro again with all the side effects that come with it only to have to wean and go through withdrawal again in less than 4 months sounds awful, but so does living with this anxiety.

I wanted to talk to someone who had more experience prescribing SSRIs so I tried to make an appointment with a psychiatrist, but everyone's booking at least a month out; even when I explain the urgency, they tell me to find someone else.

Called my primary as recommended by my midwife, too, and was told now that I've discussed with my midwife, I should be going through her only for this issue.

I'm so so so frustrated and disgusted by how this is being handled. I feel stuck and don't know what to do and I feel like the people who are supposed to help me figure this out aren't. I'm not enjoying this pregnancy at all and barely enjoying anything else in life and I'm just so mad that I even let my doctor talk me into switching meds in the first place.

This is mainly a vent but also, does anyone have any advice at all? Is there some like secret medical network I can go through to get help? Or something I can say to get an appointment sooner?