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@dolphingirl: Just wanted to send you some love. Like a previous poster said, what you are feeling is so so normal, but please try to not let those thoughts become circular and consume you and your actions. Feeling guilty in this situation is normal, but you ARE NOT guilty. Feeling responsible for your husband's actions is normal, but you ARE NOT responsible. Let those feelings wash over you, and then try to let them go and move forward.
You're doing an amazing job and you are stronger than you think. Please keep us updated. Sending you many internet hugs!
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Yup, not your fault. Depression is a disease and illness. It's like saying you caused someone's (insert whatever physical illness they have) because you were living. My husband has terrible reflux. If he chooses to eat my spicy salsa and gets sick it's not my fault, is it? Don't blame yourself. Triage the situation - do whatever you need to keep him safe, keep you and your children as comfortable as possible, and do the next right thing.
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So DH was released yesterday and he seems to be doing better. We both had a meeting with his therapist and social worker when he was discharged. The social worker said she asked about the outpatient program that is offered there but they feel like he wouldn't be good fit. (They said we can call the program leader to ask why it wouldn't be a good fit.) She suggested a type of therapy CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy). DH has called around to see if he can be seen... though many had a waitlist of a few months!
He is seeing a therapist today. It was scheduled a few weeks ago. Last night was good. This morning, I asked him how he is feeling and he said good. I have all his meds under lock and key and give it to him when he needs it.
So far things are going well. We see our marriage counselor on Friday.
As for me, I'm feeling relieved that he is feeling better today.
Thank you for all of your support. You really helped me when I was feeling down. I really appreciate you all responding to this thread. Thank you! -
@dolphingirl: I'm so sorry that you've been going through this. I'm relieved that he seems to be feeling better though. Hopefully he can get in with a counselor soon if he can't do the outpatient program. So much love to you guys.
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@dolphingirl: thanks for the update. Lots of love to you and your family.
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@dolphingirl: I'm glad to see this update! I hope things continue to improve and that you can get all the help you need going forward. Big hugs!
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@dolphingirl: I know this is old, but I'm going through something very, very similar, and am curious as to how it worked out for you guys?
He is seeing a therapist today. It was scheduled a few weeks ago. 
Thank you for all of your support. You really helped me when I was feeling down. I really appreciate you all responding to this thread. Thank you! 
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