Hi,
Hubby and I are trying to conceive number two. Number one was pretty easy, cycle 1. With number two we’ve tried two cycles so far with no success. I’m 33. I’m already disappointed and it’s only cycle 2. I know many women go years without conceiving so I mean no disrespect at all. I know they say you only have a 25% chance of conceiving each month but I was hoping it would be soon.
nectarine / 2436 posts
@MsBAM: I'm sorry, I have been there! The first lesson I learned is to completely eliminate your expectations when it comes to TTC. It could take months or years. And you have no control which is so hard! I remember crying after 3 months bc we hadn't conceived. It took 13 for my 1st son, only one cycle for my second which was a miscarriage and nine more cycles for my third pregnancy. Best of luck. I will not give you toxic positivity like "relax" . but I really do empathise bc it's so frustrating to not have control over such a big thing in your life. Xo
apricot / 265 posts
@pachamama: Thank you! And I think I’m more concerned bc of my age, otherwise I might be able to just let it be. I’m hoping it happens by Sept/Oct but would like if it happen sooner. It’s hard.
pear / 1718 posts
The uncertainty is SO hard! We tried for 2 months for #2, then were put on hold for 7 months for a health scare, then tried 3 more months. I bought myself a nice bottle of wine everytime AF showed up. Probably not the best message 
but a special treat like a massage or manicure gave me something to look forward to if we didn't conceive. Also, planning fun things with DH and #1 helped me. Good luck mama! 
apricot / 265 posts
@SweetCaroline: thank you! I think I’m going to try one of those ovulation predictor kits... any success with those?
nectarine / 2288 posts
We conceived our first on the first cycle and it took us 10 months for our second. I also had a health issue in there. All I can say is it sucks. You have no control over it and it just will or won't be.
I bought an Ava bracelet and sometimes used opks. I know we were hitting the right time, I'm sure it helped but it made me feel totally helpless. We were going to have labs and stuff ran the month that I had my health issue. After that it seemed much less important and I relaxed slightly (not that that had anything to do with it but it made ttc consume me much less)
I won't say relax and it will happen because that sucks to hear. It will most likely eventually happen. It's unfortunately a numbers game
Sorry for the giant ramble but alot of ladies on here helped me when I was struggling and made me feel like it was ok to freak out and not be ok that it was taking more than a month
grapefruit / 4466 posts
It took nearly a year with our first, with some complications along the way (partial molar pregnancy), and I'm still a bit disappointed that nothing in 2-3 months of trying for #2. I had exactly zero expectations that it would happen right away, but when AF shows up, it's still meh 
Let yourself be disappointed, but you really don't need to start worrying that something is wrong until a year in. Completely normal for it to take some time, regardless of age...
grapefruit / 4492 posts
At 33 you're still under the age cut off for AMA. Depending on your doctor you can seek help as early as 6 months in.
For us our son was an oops/surprise baby after 3 1/2 years of FAM birth control. Now I am on cycle 26 TTC baby #2 🤷♀️ Honestly I've had waves of extreme optimism and moments of absolutely zero hope; I actually remember cycle 5 being particularly depressing and cycle 19? ish being really hopeful.
It comes and goes, but it all sucks.
nectarine / 2436 posts
@MsBAM: I was 34 when I got pregnant and I had gone in to get all sorts of testing at a fertility clinic. The results were, to say the least, very discouraging. They basically told me I had very few eggs and what I had might be compromised quality. However I got pregnant three times! So it's not all about age and lab numbers
grapefruit / 4455 posts
@MsBAM: my first and third kids were one month not even really trying babies and my middle took over a year. All 3 are healthy. It doesn't necessarily mean anything!
pear / 1728 posts
I also conceived my first (at 25) on the first cycle.
Baby #2 took over a year with a miscarriage (I'm 28 now). You never know how TTC will go 🤷♀️ Good luck!
nectarine / 2797 posts
I’m another where it took one try for the first kiddo, but a year (with a MC) for the second. I hope things happen quickly for you this go round!
nectarine / 2806 posts
@MsBAM: Do you know how to track your cervical mucus? Do you use ovulation tests? And you know you’re o my fertile like 5 days of the month? I didn’t know any of that before we tried for our babies.
nectarine / 2806 posts
@MsBAM: also- you’re super young.. don’t worry about your age. I had my first at 36 and second at 39. Hoping for a third!
pomelo / 5621 posts
It can be super frustrating! With DS1 it only took two months. DS two was about 23 with one miscarriage in there. It can be trying. Here’s hoping it doesn’t take too long.
nectarine / 2813 posts
Baby #1 was cycle 1. Baby #2 has been almost 3 years of trying with 3 losses so it always isn't as easy the second time.
apricot / 265 posts
@CatchAFallingStar: I think I know when I’m ovulating and can tell by the cervical mucus. I haven’t used ovulation tests but plan to. I also use an app to track my cycles which tells me my predicted most fertile days.... definately gonna buy an ovulation kit for cycle 3.
grapefruit / 4492 posts
@MsBAM: app algorithms are based off of an average 28 day cycle, so you can't rely on them to be accurate. For any number of reasons you could have an early or late ovulation, which can lead you to think your period was early or late. If you confirm ovulation with OPK/CM/temping and know your average LP (they vary in length very little) you'll know when to expect your period or when to test more accurately.
When TTC trusting the app's prediction isn't as bad as if you're using them to avoid pregnancy; but could make you miss your fertile window.
nectarine / 2431 posts
I havent read the other comments, but DS (and the two losses before him) took 1 cycle when I was 30. We tried again and it took 10-11 months. It was heartbreaking and discouraging (and I say this knowing that it was nothing compared to what others endure.) We had done one medicated cycle with no luck. The day we were about to start the prep work for an iui, I found out I was pregnant with our daughter. I had done some research and the 25% chance applied to those much younger than I was at age 33. I was looking at closer to a 10-12% chance even if all other criteria were ideal. So, if there are no other fertility factors, it is about 1 in 10 cycles. It really is just playing the lottery until your "chance" comes up.
grapefruit / 4466 posts
@MsBAM: My cycle has changed since LO1. CM, luteal phase, when I ovulate, how long my period is, pretty much everything.... So it's also possible that your cycle has changed without realizing it, and that's why it hasn't worked yet...
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