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we didn't live with each other before marriage either, so i get it! our first year of marriage counts as the best and hardest year of my life so far. if you use this time to learn about compromise and communicate through the frustration, then the years that follow will be 100x easier!

For us it was hard, but not on our relationship. It was just hard. Dh had to get a colostomy which was hard for hi emotionally and physically, and I had a miscarriage. So it was a rough year, but thank goodness we had each other to get through it all.

The first few weeks of moving in together ..... that's a whole different story. We had only been dating 5 months, and our communication was awful. I think since the relationship was so new we were scared to tell each other how we really felt about things. But one night we had a big fight, talked it out, and life has been so much better since.

Good luck, hope it gets better for you!

Absolutely! Hubs and I didn't live together until the night of our wedding and the first year was sooooooooooooo hard! I just didn't know how to still be myself while being a new wife! It was very tough and it took a good 8 months before I found my groove...Which was good because that's when I got pregnant.

we actually dated for 4 1/2 years before getting married, so we already knew each other pretty darn well, but you don't really know someone until you live with them! ha

we've found that taking a minute to ourselves, and then coming back together when we're calm keeps us from unleashing anything we'd regret, and helps us put together our thoughts enough to effectively communicate how we're feeling. it's much easier to come to a compromise when you're not yelling at each other.

you have to talk though. even if it's scary. if you both feel heard, understood, and validated you will be so much happier as individuals and as a couple. my husband's parents are great at repressing and pretending, and they clearly aren't happy!

lots of people can and will give you advice, but for us, learning through experience was what worked. if something wasn't working, we put in the effort to change it.

@MrsBrewer: our problem was pretty simple. We held back on things that bothered us, especially me. Then I'd blow up. So the second something bothers me I tell him. Easy peasy!

i think our first year of living together was the hardest (we lived together about 1.5 years before getting married) - there is definitely a huge shift when getting married too, and its all things that you never would've thought would be a problem!

Hello fellow Wisconsinite! : ) Me and my husband got married in Oct too and we've had few issues since...BUT that probably has to do with the fact we lived with each other for 2 years before that. When we first moved in we had a lot of adjustments to make and it took some time to figure out how to coexist and argue in a heathly way. It definitely helped that after we got married all that was already solidified and all we had to do was adjust to our finance now in one account. But it does get better! And soon you'll can't believe you ever lived under a separate roof than him Good luck dear!

Our first year of marriage ends this Tuesday and it has been mostly smooth - but I always have thought it's because we lived together before we got married. THAT was the hardest transition we have ever had. I think that old adage is true from a time when people didn't live together first, I can only imagine adjusting to marriage + cohabitation would be hell. It's NOT unusual at all what you're going through!
@lilteacherbee: happy almost-same anniversary!

Our first year was smooth and really no different from non-marriage - but we lived together prior to marriage (and had each lived with previous partners, so it wasn't a first experience to live with others for us, which I think helps a ton), and we already owned our home. A lot of couples enter into really stressful situations within the first year (finishing college, job search, baby, buying a home, etc.) which I think is why so many people have stressful first years. Being "older", we bypassed a lot of that stress (luckily).

As long as you guys are communicating your concerns/fears/issues/etc. I'm sure things will get better. If you are feeling especially stressed out, can you guys maybe do a quick weekend getaway somewhere? (Even somewhere close to home, but not home).

DH and I didn't live together before marriage, and honestly? Our first year of marriage was pretty breezy! While there have been more arguments and adjustments than in the past, I think our personalities tend toward calm and order more than squabbling.

Then again, we've also had to deal with plenty of bigger stuff that maybe directs any bad energy. Job changes, car failures, family issues, a surprise pregnancy, trying to buy a house...all kinds of fun stuff. And I've made a point of cultivating argument amnesia, so maybe I'm just not remembering all of the rough spots.

It's important to remember that your spouse is your partner, not the enemy, and they should always be treated with love and respect. Big or little, you'll learn to work the rough spots out and fit each other like gloves.

Our first year of marriage wasn't hard. But, we lived together for two years proir to our wedding. After a year of dating we moved across the country together. It was the first time I had been away from my family. The first year after the move was the hardest.

Our first year was a breeze, considering we had a transatlantic move, new job for me and we never lived together in the same time zone before. We travelled, furnished our place, basically nested.

It has become significantly more challenging now that we are parents.

Yikes! I think moving is one of the most stressful moments in a couple's lives. No wonder you're stressed out! Hopefully you can work together to find a happy medium. My suggestion is to listen to your partner and try to figure out where the stress is coming from. Then try to talk through things or let him vent, if needed. Try not to create an argument if there really isn't one there (that is something I am still and always will work on..)

We were living together for some time before we got married. We also dated for 7 years before, as well. I think this helped put us in a place where our first year of marriage was seriously amazing. We were absolutely smitten with one another after we both had rings on our fingers and went on a long, relaxing vacation.

Living together for the first time was the hardest year for us. It is a big adjustment to go from dating and having your own personal space to living together and being jointly responsible for a house/apartment, budget, etc... It's tough! Give it a little time; it does get easier with more practice.