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I think about this a lot. We were fortunate to get pregnant relatively quickly with DS, but I was 31 when I conceived and 32 when I delivered. I don't feel like there's much of a societal stigma anymore, tbh, because its more common to have children later in life, but the medical risks are real.

For us, there are a lot of factors to consider in having a second. I never realized it would be a hard decision, and always wanted 2. Now I'm not sure. I'd want to wait at least a year before discussing it, and ideally have D weaned and potty trained first. But there's the cost of having 2 in daycare - not possible with our current salaries. There's the size of our house - fine for 3, not for 4. There's the fact that there would be things we couldn't do for D with a second child - we couldn't save as much for him, or take trips, or give him as much, or even spend as much time with him.

And then there's the physical stuff. I feel like I had a relatively uncomplicated pregnancy - just gestational diabetes but it was well-controlled with diet and didn't affect DS at all - but it took a lot out of me. I was in a lot of physical discomfort and just exhausted and emotional. The postpartum period has been hard on me. I worry that being 2-3 years older, it would all be even harder. But age aside, I don't know how people care for a toddler and a newborn.

So I guess all this is just to say, having a second is a hard enough decision, but when I factor age into it, I just don't know if I could do it. On the other hand, DH and I are both only children so DS would have no aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. and then no siblings. That's hard to think about, too (not that that should be a sole reason for having a kid).

@Mrs. Jacks: You're welcome! My mom is pretty cool, and as I said I've always been proud of her! Even when I was a kid, I thought it was awesome that my mom landed a 30-year-old husband when she was 40 I'm sure your kids will think you're equally awesome!

i think many older moms also benefit from being more ready for children and out of their more selfish or experimental phase in life. There are old souls out there i know but i was not one of them. I had a lot of yayas to get out. now i feel i am better equiped. I also had an easier pregnancy than many women much younger than me. I think it's an individual thing. Eggs do age so that is something to consider but other than that I think it really depends on the individual because some 40 year olds are healthier or have better genes than 19 year olds. It's all relative. Since it took you a while to conceive I would say you definitely want to factor that in but who knows your next pregnancy could happen like that! many women experience increased fertility after having their first.