Hellobee Boards

@erinpye: agree 100%

I think I'm in the minority here, but I find it really weird that they discuss social media pictures at dinner. I really don't see myself saying at dinner " ok C whip out your phone so we can see who you are friends with on Facebook and what pictures they put up!" Maybe I'll be singing a different tune when my son is a teenager though.

@MamaJ: ha! my reaction as well... "as we often do..." as they look through facebook friends pictures and critique them. THIS to me sounds like the high school boys version of "lets rate our female classmates 1-10"...

I have mixed feelings about this article for several reasons. I have heard over and over and over again growing up that girls need to dress modestly because guys are visual and will see girls differently if they show skin... that teaching always made me uncomfortable and I didn't exactly know why until I became an adult. I don't want the pressure of a guys thoughts/feelings being put on how *I* dress. Frankly, it is NOT my responsibility where their mind goes when they look at me.

As a parent of a boy I do sympathize to an extent just because I realize that a whole lot of girls do purposefully dress provocatively - BUT in the same way - so do guys! I don't like this double standard that a girl cannot dress a certain way or else she'll be the sexual desire of every man who sees her - but it's perfectly acceptable for boys to go shirtless at any given time, strut around in their boxers, etc... Modesty is a two way street.

Also as a parent of a boy I plan to guide my son into developing a respect for women no matter who they are or how they dress. He will be taught that he IS responsible for all of his thoughts and actions.

I also absolutely detest the sexist notion that all men are animals waiting to attack and sexualize every living thing. That somehow they cannot control their sexual impulses and that's why women need to be covered head to toe - or else!

Why don't we raise our sons to focus more on the inner beauty of a women rather than spending our time criticizing every girl for how "wrong" she is for our son? Instead, let's attempt to mold our sons into someone WORTHY of a lady.

So yes - I do plan to hold my sons to high standards... but I will hold him to high standards for HIMSELF. I think the worst thing a young person can do while waiting to find a life partner is focus on all the qualities they want in a mate - rather than focusing on making themselves worthy of marriage.

In closing, I think this article plays into sexist notions and gender stereotyping. I think it shifts blame and doesn't focus on what our real parenting goals ought to be.

@erinpye: Yes, yes, yes to everything you said.