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Are we talking about a newborn? I think it's totally up to you in that case. I might change it but keep the middle name, or choose something with the same meaning as the original name.

For an older child, I wouldn't change it. Or I would give the child the option of keeping their name or choosing a new one for themselves, especially if they had been in a traumatic environment and wanted to "start fresh".

I think I am with you. I love the idea of keeping that babies given name, but if it was something I had strong feelings against I'm not sure I could keep it.

I know someone who adopted and changed the babies name...they actually had the name picked out well in advance of the babies birth and everything was personalized months before her arrival with the name they picked.

I have a friend who struggled with this. Ultimately, they gave her a second first name and she usually goes by K.K. as a nickname.

I know a birth mom and she chose the name along with the adoptive parents. I think the adoptive parents had some ideas and then they talked to her about them. She loved feeling like she was a small part of it and they have a great relationship now. Her daughters middle name is the same as hers too.

ETA: the adoptive parents wanted to include her in the naming process and were the final say of her name, and they chose the middle name as a surprise to the birth mom. They have an open adoption and are very connected.

What about keeping the name they give as the middle name, and then you choose the first name?

My sister was adopted as a newborn and my parents chose her name. My cousins were adopted as older babies and the birth parents had already given them first names, but my aunt and uncle were able to give them middle names.

@adnama: That is what I was wondering. If I was giving up my baby for adoption, I would let the parents name the baby since it is going to be their baby.

@Mrs. Train: I'm in Ontario, Canada and it's a closed adoption. My aunt/uncle never met the birth parents, and came to the hospital after they had left to pick up my cousin. I guess that's why they picked the name! Once my cousins turn 18, they can get the information about their birth mothers from the lawyer they went through.

@Mrs. Train: agree.. really nice of you to allow them to choose one of his names!

My mum changed my little sisters name. She removed the first two letters since her nickname that we used did not include them. Example being the name Isabel and having it changed to Belle (not her name). She was a foster child and her name was officially changed when she was adopted at 3, though she came to live with us when she was 1.5. She has not had any trouble with the change.

I plan on adopting, so this is something that I have thought about. If we adopt domestically, we'll most likely do newborn adoption, and we will choose our own name. I don't think we'd include the given name at all unless we knew the mom, and wanted to honor her. I'd feel more comfortable with a closed adoption though, I think. If we adopt internationally (which is the current plan), we would adopt an older child, and would obviously keep the child's name. If the child has a hard to pronounce name, we'd either just pick a similar sounding English nickname or let the child choose an English nickname.

I think with adoptions it is also situation. Like @Arden: story a new name can be a new start. With babies and open adoption I think you really have to get a feel for how your relationship will be. Our birth momma,Ed our son chance. She explained it to me in the hospital by saying we liked chance because I was on birth control and you know what are the "chances" of that. I did not want that to be his legacy so we choose to give him a name from our family. Sometimes there can be a very good relationship and a name can be thought of together. But until you are matched or really until papers are being signed you never know what to expect.

@adnama: birth parents are encouraged and counseled to choose a name as part of the process.

@Mrs. Jacks: I didn't know that! Interesting. I guess we will never know what the birth moms of my cousins chose, unless they do meet them and share that information.

@loveletter: it absolutely makes sense:) I by no means meant to "diss" or "punish" the birth family by changing the name. My only hang up is...once a person adopts, that child is THEIRS and they have no obligation to honor the other family bykeeping the name. Visits (if that's the agreement) and honoring the heritage of that child and speaking nothing bad about the birth parents is an obligation. But, I feel like naming a child is such a GREAT honor that his parents should have, and you will be the parents:) So, you should have that. I do get where you're coming from though, and again, by no means do I think renaming the child is a way of dissing the biological parents.

@mrbee:

I think it depends on the situation. In the case of an infant adoption, I absolutely think the adoptive parents should choose the name. If they can communicate about it with the birth parents (assuming it is an open/amicable situation) then I think that's great, but honestly I think parents who adopt should do what feels right to them. If it feels right to you to honor the birth parents by including the name they picked in some way, then that's great! But I don't think you should feel obligated.

However, with older kids / international adoptions, I think it gets tricky. I think if we adopted internationally, even if it was a baby, we would keep their original name as a middle name as a part of their heritage. If the child was old enough to know and say their own name, and it was a name I could live with, I would keep it. If I couldn't live with it, I would try to change it to something that sounded similar for the child's ease of transition. That's just my personal preference though - I think parents should do what is right for them with the counsel of those working with them on the adoption!

My friends encountered this question/issue when they recently adopted; part of their adoption agreement was that the birth mother got to name the baby. When he was born she selected a first and middle name strongly associated with her religion (but not with theirs). When they finalized the adoption they kept the names she gave him as additional "middle" names and added a new first and middle name; he has five names if you put them all together. They have always just called him by the first name that they chose.

We have several adopted children in our family ... for those with a name change, at least one of their original names (first or middle) is now their middle name. It was important to my family to keep part of the name as a way of honoring their biological family & where they came from. Ages when adopted (for those who had their names changed): 3 months, 10 months, 1.5 years.