Sorry, this is going to be a long story. About 6 years ago DH and I uprooted our lives in Chicago and moved 1000 miles to his home town in VT so that we would be near his parents when we had kids. It took a couple of years to get established here, but when we were ready to start trying I was diagnosed with a health issue (literally at our preconception appointment) that necessitated a surgery that came with a recommendation to wait at least 2 years before trying to get pregnant. After the two years plus a little more time to wrap up some home projects we started trying this summer. But MIL and FIL announced in July that they were planning to move 3 hours away to the town where DH's 2 sisters live, "to be closer to grandkids," when MIL retires in the fall. At that point DH told MIL that we were trying and had hoped that they would be around. I got pregnant in September and was happy that they would be around at least the first few months, but lost the baby right before Thanksgiving.
Christmas was really rough on a number of levels. Being around nieces and nephews right after the miscarriage, and then on top of all of it having to listen to all of them gush about how great it's going to be when MIL and FIL move down there and how hard it is to get from the town we live in to the town they're moving to for visits. It really drove home how everything that we'd planned for our kids was going to happen for SIL1 & 2s families instead.
We're having them over for dinner right after the new year, and I don't know if I can keep quiet about it. I really thought I had a good relationship with my in laws and that they were the supportive family that I didn't have in my family of origin. DH doesn't think it will help anything and might even alienate them from us to be honest about how I feel, but I don't know how I can sit at dinner and make small talk. Each other kid in DH's family has family within half an hour now, and when MIL and FIL move we're going to be an island with no family within 3 hours when we literally moved halfway across the country so that we could raise our kids near family. I don't expect it to change their plans, but at least we'll all be on the same page.
What would you do? Would you be honest about how you feel or try to just gloss over it? If you don't have family near by to rely on, how does it work? So far I've done a really good job of being happy and supportive, but I'm so wrecked with the miscarriage and losing them I just don't think I'm going to be able to even be normal without addressing how I feel.