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@crazydoglady: You are not being unreasonable and, as a new mother, it is within your rights to make this request. I made the same request when DS was born. At the time, my mom was sick with a cold and my DD was six years old (my little Petri dish of icky goodies from school!), my in-laws are older and were involved in so many social events (Church, garden club, senior group, art club, etc) which brought them in contact with so many people who may not have gotten proper vaccinations, and my husband was active duty in the military (another walking Petri dish! )! I simply requested that everyone washed their hands (or used santitizer) to hold the new baby but I would prefer that no one kissed his face or hands. DH was allowed to kiss the top of DS's head, of course. My mother was the only one who took issue; however, since she was sick, she complied.

If your mom gets cold sores, even if she doesn’t have an active sore she is carrying those germs and can spread them to your baby. That virus can kill your baby. It sounds harsh but it’s true. That’s what I would say to my parents. It’s your job to protect your baby even if it’s at the expense of their feelings.

I don’t think older people understand that illnesses adults can treat fairly easily can be deadly for infants.

@crazydoglady: I don’t think it’s unreasonable in our generation because we have so much more information available to us but at least in my experience the grand/greatgrandparents get miffed because if a baby died from these things when they were parents it might have been hard to pinpoint the cause or how they got sick.

Not unreasonable, maybe a little unrealistic though.

Our ped just always said for little kids to kiss the top of the head and the toes, so I kind of think those are "safe" areas and no more likely to lead to illness than just carrying the baby around would while sick. Maybe you could ask your pediatrician about that. I get it, I was totally paranoid about flu season this past year with a newborn. And of course when baby was a month old my oldest brought home a nasty stomach bug from school, on top of the other nasty colds and flus going around, and then I overheard there was also measles..ugh. So much nasty stuff.

@crazydoglady: I know not everyone thinks this is realistic, but IMO you can mama bear your baby and set whatever rules you want and I *do* think it's realistic to think you can enforce them if you're unafraid of hurting people's feelings. I will never forget my mom taking an 8-hour fucking bus ride followed by subway ride on the NYC MTA and then trying to hold my newborn without so much as washing her hands, then when I asked her to she rolled her eyes--my response was to yell at her and then make her wash her hands which I supervised because to her that's rinsing them in cold water for two seconds and wiping them on her jeans. I also made her change her clothes. she did it. sorry/not sorry, you can't be too careful with a newborn and the cold sores things gives me the shivers just to think about. do your thing.

@2littlepumpkins: oh my gosh, that's terrible that your newborn was sick and had to be hospitalized yeah it's a super good point that this stuff can happen before you have time to react in real life. with my son I just did a lockdown and basically didn't let anyone come to the hospital, come over to the house, or hold him for the first couple weeks, and then when close friends/family did come, I preemptively read them the riot act about germs and kissing and stuff--everyone definitely got it that I was serious, and I do think it helped. I'm sure most of them thought I was insane but I just do not GAF and will do it again.

@2littlepumpkins: This.

Also, for everyone saying they did everything right and they think it made a difference, if only things were that simple. As a parent who had a child who got sick, no one kissed my baby at the hospital (my parents aren't kissers and didn't cross my son's mind) - she still got meningitis.
The thing is, you are usually most contagious before you have symptoms. If it makes you feel better for your parents not to kiss your baby, that's fine, but don't think that not kissing him/her is going to insulate them from germs. We washed hands, we did everything (if not more) that we did with our son - she still got sick. It's life - just random chance / bad luck. I don’t think you are being irrational, but assuming your parents aren’t kissing baby on lips, I wouldn’t take issue.... and this is after having experienced a pretty horrible situation.

@crazydoglady: not unreasonable at all. Especially for the one who usually gets cold sores. I can't understand people wanting to kiss a Newborns on the face, or hands if it isn't your baby!! Have you tried sending them news articles about the dangers

Not to be the voice of dissent, but my parents flew across the country to be there for the birth of my daughter 6 weeks ago, and if I told them they weren’t allowed to snuggle their brand new granddaughter, they’d be pretty hurt. Granted they’re pretty vigilant about health and wouldn’t go near her if they were sick, but planting a kiss on the top of her head seemed totally reasonable to me. It’s clearly your call, but I’d have a hard time telling my family not to love on my new baby.

I guess I’m a bit of the odd one out, but, particularly as I just had my second child, this wouldn’t bother me at all. A kiss on top of the head from a doting grandparent? I don’t think cold sores spread from the scalp, but I’m not sure on that since I’m not a physician. I’d actually be more worried about my older kiddo bringing all sorts of germs home, than grandparents, who tend to know things like hand washing, etc, and aren’t exposed to lots of other germs via children, children’s toys, etc. But that is just me! My older son got some kind of stomach bug when my younger baby was only a month or two old, and thankfully he didn’t get it, but I couldn’t really keep them separate at all! I’m of the opinion that there’s only so much you can do, and kisses like that don’t really bother me, but, again, that’s just me Can’t believe you’re due so soon!!

@ChiCalGoBee: I'm with you. I don't think top of the head kisses are unreasonable. Snuggling and breathing on the baby are just as likely to get them sick as kissing their heads. By all means, wash hands and stay away if you're sick or have been around sick people... but I think this request isn't likely to give more protection. In the end, your baby, your rules however.

Not unreasonable at all! I just had a baby 9 days ago and asked the doctors in the hospital about this. She said if anyone has an actual active cold sore or rash they should not come visit the baby at all. If no cold sores or rash they can visit but absolutely no kissing.