Hellobee Boards

I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds incredibly difficult to be so far from your family and I get it as we live completely across the country from our entire family. I think you’re doing all the right things-planning what you can and lining up a therapist. I think that all of your feelings are valid and it’s ok to feel however it is that you feel, and it’s ok if that changes every second. Try to acknowledge your feelings and let them be. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel right now. Sending lots of hugs to you.

I am so sorry for your loss. Perhaps you can do some facetime with the family using an electronic media. Even just propping an ipad up in the corner of the room might make it feel like you are there.

I think a therapist is definitely on the right track.

I'm sure your father would want you to be happy about the upcoming birth of your child. And yes it is ok to have different emotions going on all at the same time.

Thinking of you...

I'm so sorry for your loss. My situation was not the same but I will offer this up I lost my dad 3.5 years before E was born the second night we were in the hospital and after she had met all her living grandparents I introduced her to my dad it was hard and I cried (hell I am tearing up remembering doing it) but it felt good to me. Do what feels right to you.

I am so so so sorry. I teared up reading this because it must have been so hard to loose your dad completely unexpected, and then you can't even join your family in grieving together, and of course, being ready to give birth any moment and having ALL these conflicting emotions. Just take it one day at a time and don't feel guilty about any way you're feeling, happy or sad.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your dad. Your post made me teary as he sounds very special.

My situation isn’t the same but I lost my very very special grandpa October 1st this year when my son was only 3 weeks old. The conflicting emotions are horrible and I am still struggling, especially at night when I’m up with him and alone and grieving, thinking my grandpa never got to meet my son and all the things we regret didn’t happen or won’t happen now. My mom and grandma are devastated even though it was a lengthy illness that we knew was terminal. I can’t imagine it being sudden like with your dad but take comfort he didn’t suffer as you said. I was actually going to go visit but he died the day before I went.

I’m 3.5 hrs away from my family and the only thing that helped was texting my mom and grandma everyday, helping plan the services as best I could from afar, and coming to terms with the fact that I can’t be there right now and it’s ok. I did feel very isolated and torn but we did all make it for the memorial and my kids brought joy to an otherwise horrible day.

My mom said to me that we will never forget that we got our son but lost my grandpa within weeks of each other. That helped me reframe it almost that it’s ok to have one amazing event and one terrible event and that’s how life goes. I think accepting your limits and not forcing anything on yourself is the only way right now.

Side note: what about Willa?

I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you can spend some time with your mom ASAP.

Willa could be a girl version of william? Did he go by William, will, bill? Billy could be a cute middle for a girl if he used that. Or add a P to earl for pearl?
Hugs to you ️️

I’m so sorry for your sudden loss. My dad passed away three months ago and making arrangements for his funeral fell primarily on me. When the last event took place I was really able to start reflecting on his passing and how ode without him would be. Therapy is a great place to start. My therapist really helped me move past some of the anger and regret that I was feeling.

My LO is 2 and fondly remembers my dad and still speaks about him. Yesterday, we were going over boys vs girls and their anatomy. LO correctly categorized Papi as a boy. Sometimes I find myself wishing I could call or email him and share what’s new with LO because he would be so interested and amazed. The other night LO and I read Where the Wild Things Are using the copy I had as a little girl that my dad read me. Flipping through the pages he once touched brought tears to my eyes. As we read the book for the third time in a row and LO repeated the story with the same enthusiasm I read it brought me joy. I thought this must have been how my dad felt when I enjoyed the book with him. Overall parenting LO even during my grief hasn’t diminished the love and care and happiness I feel around LO though at times it reminds me of what LO and I both have lost.

Do you have things from your dad you can pass onto your LO?

I am so so sorry for your sudden loss. Know there is no wrong way to feel right now. Emotions are funny things and will hit you at unexpected times. You might cry when you're supposed to laugh and laugh when you should cry. But know none of it is wrong. I hope you can see your mom soon and that it helps. You are in my thoughts.

@rpparker: I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Echoing a previous poster, I think Camille Pearl would be a beautiful ode to him. A variation of his name at the center of your daughter's. Sending love during this difficult time.

@rpparker: I had a coworker whose child was named Kipton and they called him Kip. I think its a gender neutral name you could even change the vowels a bit to Kipten/Kiptan.

I think Camille Kip is adorable, I just wanted to give you another middle name solution: Camille Kiptan or even switch them around to Kiptan Camille.

Hang in there and post as often as you need.

My grandmother passed suddenly when DD was 6mo old and it was tough. I wrote the eulogy and that was very cathartic. I had to process through her life - child through being a great-grandmother which helped me streamline my thoughts and memories.
So perhaps writing something like that could help you? Even if you never share it out loud, it could help you process the different versions of him you are grieving.

@rpparker: @newlypregnantlady: I'm so, so sorry for your losses no advice but you both sound so strong. hugs.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime:

@rpparker: @newlypregnantlady: I am so sorry for your losses.
I lost my mom earlier this year and so far the more time passes, I do not feel better. Yesterday was hard for me - I miss the text messages, sharing photos with her, talking with her and it was especially hard on Halloween. I hate that she doesn't get to see me be a mom or watch my boys grow up but hopefully I will be the mom that she was to me for them. I have to focus on the time I had with her and not the time I don't. Some days are easier than others.