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I grew up in a very similar situation as you! My parents both owned a business so I was basically a latch-key kid. They weren't involved in my school work but I think it's mainly because they didn't speak English very well. They helped me with math but only up until 6th grade. They only looked at my report cards and signed off on papers. I received pretty good grades so they never questioned me in terms of school work. I have to admit that I did learn a lot by figuring things out on my own though. I plan on being involved with my kids' education as a guide and to help them when they're stuck. But I think I'd like to give them some independence to learn on their own and to learn from their mistakes. One bad grade won't kill their future, but it may teach them a lesson about what it feels like to fail at something and how to pick themselves back up again. I think these types of lessons are far more important than getting good grades when they're younger. I know plenty of kids who got way too much help from mom and dad in jr high/high school and ended up failing out of college because they didn't know how to do it on their own.

My parents were pretty involved with my education. It was important to them (to be involved). We plan to do the same. I think all parents should be involved in their child's education.

My parents were also immigrant small business owners and rarely ever home. My mom was still very, very involved with our education though. She never missed a single mtg, concert, performance, etc and checked in with me daily to make sure my school work was done correctly. She would also make sure my work was organized and all my school things were neat. I credit her with how organized and type-a I turned out

Mine were fairly involved... I rarely asked for help on schoolwork and hid the occasional report card, haha. But school and grades was important to them, so they always asked about it.

They made it to countless orchestra/choir concerts, musical and talent show performances, dance recitals, and a zillion other things like that. Looking back at that, I really appreciate that!!

My mom never helped with homework, but she made sure it was done and I could never pull the old "the teacher didn't give us any homework" card. She would read my report card like it was a gripping NYT best selling novel. If a teacher said something in the comments section she would ask me what I was doing wrong in class. She also went to all my parent teacher conferences until I went to high school. For a single parent that is not an easy thing to do.

They would help if I asked for help....buuuut I was the type of kid that rarely asked for help, so they just didn't know much about what went on in school.

@Freckles: Same! I plan on being involved by supporting them, helping them when they get stuck, and being involved with the school and teachers to make sure they're getting the resources that they need. But I don't plan on helping them with every project that they have or constantly reminding them to do their homework or double-checking their work. They need to learn these soft lessons early on to succeed later in life.

This might sound kind of weird but I view my kids like how I would treat my team at work. My direct reports come to me when they need assistance or support or can't get to the next step. I"ll check in with them on a weekly basis and am always available if they need my support.. But I don't micro-manage them every step of the way on all of their projects and am not overly involved in that way. They have to learn from their mistakes. If they let something slip through the cracks, it's on them. If they did something great, that's also all them! I notice it gives my team a sense of pride and accomplishment by working this way. Nobody wants a micro-managing boss and I don't plan on being a micro-managing mom.

And btw, I used rice too! It's called creative problem solving!

@banana: @Freckles: ditto! i agree with both your parenting philosophies and i intend to do the same. i want to push them to be independent enough to think critically on their own and figure stuff out for themselves, but i will be there to support them the best i can. i'm just not going to give them all the answers.

Involved and interested.

My parents (mainly my dad) was heavily involved in my school work. He'd double check all my homework before I could call it a night and put it in my backpack. He was a brilliant guy so I knew when I had questions, he'd be able to help. However, he would never, ever give me the answers and it irritated me because he would just be like it's in the book. They don't ask you questions when the answer isn't in the book. So even if it took me 2 hours to "find the answer", he would never give up the answer nor let me go to sleep by putting some random answer.