Hellobee Boards

@mrbee: Ha! I answered this question in your other thread about friendships. YES! And it changed a lot. I was close to her family, too. I really miss her mom.

Eff her, though! She broke up with me!

ETA: I also learned that I'm never getting involved in anyone's relationship issues unless they are physically in danger.

@mrbee: She also broke up with me via mass e-mail. Yes, MASS e-mail, she sent the same e-mail to 3 or 4 of us but changed our names and added a very special fuck you to mine at the end. Whenever I miss her I pull up the e-mail. I want to photoshop her out of my wedding pictures.

@mrsjazz: mine broke up with me over text!! Grow a pair and do it in person!!! Grrr

This thread is making me angry all over again

@mrbee: No, but she just added a paragraph to mine that my other friends didn't have because I was her oldest/closest friend and I really apparently really hurt her. She did tell me not to call her, e-mail, or text her saying that I missed her because it wouldn't be answered.

Ha. I'm getting upset again!

@luckypenny: They don't deserve us! If I'm going to break up with someone, I'm going to do it in person, especially someone who I called a friend.

Yes, and it still hurts. But I've realized that she needs the world to revolve around her and anything that isn't about her is unacceptable- including my career, my dying dog, my husband. After it was over, I realized how unhealthy the whole friendship was. And yet I miss her...

@mrbee: Ha, that is what I have wondered for 3+ years now! No idea. I apparently did something that upset him, but he had zero desire to talk to me about it so I could fix it. Although, it is part of his MO to end up hating is roommates for one reason or another, so I can't say I was entirely surprised. He just liked to be alone when home and is a homebody, so we rarely hung out anyway.

@Kimberlybee: Ha! No, J didn't marry the other girl, but they are living together. K is...bitter. And still single. The last time I saw her she had printed and put up next to her bed a sign that said "Trust is just believing the lie." I hope she can find some peace, but I imagine it'll take a while...

Hmm, I don't think so. I've drifted apart from a couple friends, but it was mutual.

No, but you could say I broke up with a friend once. I'd confided in her that I was falling for a close male friend (whom I'd know for years, but whom she'd never met)... I finally hinted to my male friend that I had feelings for him and he responded by being very flirtatious back. I was giddy with excitement and talked to my female friend about it a lot - analyzing every single thing he said and did. She was excited for me when he invited me to his NYE party. She didn't have plans, so I invited her and she met him for the first time. That night the guy kissed me (!!!), but later in the night, she kissed him! I was upset, but she was very sorry and I chalked it up to alcohol. I told her I didn't want a guy to come between us, so I would not pursue him if it would affect our friendship (despite the fact that I'd had a crush on the guy for about 3 years and she'd met him once). She also stated that our friendship was more important and she would not pursue him either (hos before bros - yo!). Things went back to normal for about a week and then she came into work one day (we shared an office) and said she was sorry, she knew how much I cared about the guy, but she felt he was something special and "amazing guys like that don't come along often", so she felt she had to pursue him. I was royally pissed and basically broke up with her on the spot. (I might have overreacted, but she had done some other things that had rubbed me the wrong way). It wasn't so much about the guy as the fact that I felt she was selfish and didn't care about my feelings. I basically just said, "Life's too short for this... I have plenty of great friends who would never do something like this. I don't need a "friend" like you. I'm done." She was royally pissed at me and never tried to make up. She tried pursuing something with the guy but didn't get anywhere and I sorta drifted apart from him (though I still talk to him via FB from time to time).

It still upsets me. I've never had a fight with any other friend and I do miss the good times we shared.

Yep, we were very close friends and she's family too because she's married to DH's cousin. Things had been weird between us for awhile, but then I noticed she deleted me off FB. I mentioned it to my MIL. MIL said she talked to her (my friend) at a family function in September and she told MIL that she was upset with me. She was mad that I "didn't pay attention" to her 12 month old daughter at our town's 4th of July festival. I remember seeing her in a group of people, including several other members of DH's family. We spoke to them for a few minutes and then we moved on and kept walking. I said hello to my friend (who was holding her daughter), but she was engaged in a conversation with a couple of other people.

I honestly didn't think twice about any of that until MIL said that was why she was mad at me. It's hard for me to wrap my head around why she'd be so pissed at me over that. She's the type of person who loves for her/her kids to be the center of attention. The others that night were talking to me about the baby (I was 6 months pregnant), so maybe she didn't like that the spotlight wasn't on her for a whole 5 minutes?

It bothered me for awhile, but I really don't have the time or energy for that amount of crazy anymore (it's not the first time she made a big deal out of something that I didn't even realized had happened). It is kinda awkward because she's family and I'll always have to see her.

I broke up with a friend once. I was pretty direct about it. I feel like friendships deserve the same care and attention (at different levels, obviously) as our romantic relationships/ marriage. She screwed me over so many times, never initiated anything, and basically made me feel like crap. There was a final straw incident, and so I sat her down and said "I can't do this anymore. You aren't a good friend to me, and I don't really need this kind of a hurtful relationship in my life."

I recently reached out to her, because we had been friends for a very long time and I wanted to see how she was. She responded initially, but then dropped the ball again. Clearly she hasn't changed (or hates me, either option is possible).

I've had friends I have drifted apart from, but I wouldn't say I've ever had a friend "break up".

yes, junior year of college, and I still think of it as one of the most painful things I've ever gone through. We were best friends in middle and high school, and definitely drifted apart during college but I kept trying to hang on--probably for too long, I think she was checked out of the friendship long before. I think a lot of it had to do with her relationship--she had been (and is still in, according to fb) a relationship with this girl who never tried to make an effort with her friends (especially, but not only, me), and who'd cheated on her, so at one point about a year before she ended our friendship, I had told her (while they were broken up) that I thought she was better off without the gf...But regardless, it was the way she ended the friendship that was so painful: the last in-person conversation I had with her was right before I went to study abroad. She came over to my house, gave me a huge hug and we were talking about how excited we were that we were both going to be in our hometown that summer (we both went to college away from home). Then, I come home from being abroad (I didn't have email access while I was gone...) and she just completely disappeared. My grandmother was dying, I had broken up with a boyfriend, and so I really, really, REALLY needed my friend, and she was just gone. Didn't return my calls, emails, anything. And then it was worse because I was stuck at home all summer and didn't know why she was mad, or if she was badmouthing me to our mutual friends (who were closer to her anyway, so I felt like I couldn't reach out to them...), so I just felt really isolated.

I broke up with my BFF of 20 years. She was totally toxic and I couldn't deal anymore. It was pretty awful ETA After reading all the responses in this thread - YES I did it in person.

Yup! We were really close to this couple for YEARS. She asked me to be her bridesmaid for her wedding, and I was so excited. A few weeks later, she asked me and my husband to step down. I was like wtf?! why?! She said "budget reasons". Bull donkey shittake! Then she said she asked me to step down over her other bridesmaids bc I was the last person she asked. Another bull donkey shittake. I know for darn sure I wasn't because when she asked me to be her bridesmaids, I asked who all else was going to be and she listed them out then said she's looking for one more to be partnered up with her brother.

I cried my eyes out bc I thought I did something wrong and we were so close so it didn't make sense at all. After I cried it out, I said eff her, and we just never really talked again.

@Alivoo01: did you ever figure out why? That seems so bizarre?!