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Yeah. I have done it and had it done.
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yep, one of my HS BFFs and the person who introduced me to DH.
She was mad at me that I was coming to her college (where both she and DH went) and staying with HIM, not HER, although I'm sure there was more to it than that. It ended with a huge screaming fight (one-sided - I didn't scream back) in the middle of a big frat party. I cried my eyes out all weekend, and DH (then BF) tried to break up with me because he didn't want to get in the way of our friendship (of course I wouldn't let him). I was sad about it for years, and I even had dreams that we made up. I loved her family and I missed her a lot.
Eventually she friended me on FB (this blow-out happened before FB existed) and we even met up for lunch once. At that point we were too different though, and I could see that she was still the same selfish person underneath, so I got a bit of closure from that. I still "like" her pictures sometimes though, and I'm FB friends with her mom, too.
I think for me the saddest part is that she's 100% the reason I'm with my husband, and she's not even in my life anymore.
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@.twist.: Nope, and I don't really care to now since she didn't value our friendship since she thought it'd be totally okay to do such a thing. And she never tried to reach back out to me and reconcile.
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@Alivoo01: ugh. So weird!
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It wasn't really a specific breakup, more of a drifting kind of thing. I had the same best friend through elementary and middle school, but we went to different high schools. Around sophomore year, she got this boyfriend and basically stopped hanging out with me and with her other friends. We were never the same after, even though they broke up after a year or so. I still see her a couple of times a year because our moms and sisters are BFFs, but we're not close. It's actually one of my big regrets, letting such a close friendship go without working harder to keep it.
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Yes, I've been on both sides of it.
The breakup was after three years of friendship. She just freaked out one day, stopped talking to me. I was having a really hard year and she treated me like dirt. Then a friend of mine invited me to her church and the crazy friend lost her mind cos she went there too. She sent me a nasty email saying that I needed to get the hint and that I was nuts, blah blah. It was not nice. I wrote back and said that she was nuts herself and selfish and if she went around telling people I was the crazy one I'd tell everyone her secrets and that we were done. She is psycho. I'm glad that she's out of my life!
I did the slow fade on a couple of others who didn't get the hint.
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This thread is comforting know that others have been through it too. I had a really bad friendship breakup that was harder than any romantic relationship break-up I've had. I've realize that she's not a good person and I'm so much happier without her in my life, but I still miss her.
Has anyone ever broke-up with a friend, but gotten back together?
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@TemperanceBrennan: I haven't with a friend, but I have with family. The relationship is just not the same and probably never will be. I imagine it would be similar with a friend.
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I've been broken up with, and broken up with a friend. Both were high school friends.
The one who left me, it was all super weird. But she had Asperger's, so she never dealt with things quite the way I expected. When I was in my first year of college, my grandmother (who I was VERY close to) died. I was already struggling with depression, so it just crushed me. I failed every class that semester, and lost my scholarships. Without scholarships, I couldn't afford to stay in school. I also didn't think I needed to keep going until I got things straightened out emotionally. She sent me a ranty email about how I was wasting my talents by dropping out and she'd give anything to be as smart as me and basically saying I was such a terrible person that she couldn't be friends with me anymore. I tried to explain that a- I wasn't necessarily dropping out permanently (though ultimately I didn't go back), I just couldn't afford to continue. (What did she want me to do? School costs money!) and b- I had a lot more talents than ones related to college. I can draw very well, am I a bad person for not becoming a professional artist? I'm great with kids, and ultimately am a nanny and will be a SAHM. Would failing to utilize my skills with kids have made me terrible? Just because I have gifts that others would like doesn't obligate me to use them the way they would like to. It was SO strange, and still makes me a little sad.
The other friend, I feel bad about because I handled it poorly. We were very close in early high school, but she wasn't able to stay in the same school (magnet school, and she wasn't making the grades she needed). We drifted some, but tried to stay in touch. But she was always the single most negative person I know. She backed out of being in our mutual friend's wedding at the last minute (after being super excited to be in it). She was overall super selfish, refused to take proper care of herself with her mental/physical issues, then whined and complained about the results (like she was lactose intolerant, ate dairy ALL THE TIME, then constantly complained about how sick she felt), etc. I tried to just be FB friends, but it got to the point that I couldn't do it. To me, the point of being FB friends is to keep up with each others lives. She only posted cryptic things about doing stuff with local friends, that made me (and anyone else not involved) feel like outsiders, and her only comments on anything I posted were negative. So I took the chicken route and just unfriended her. She didn't even seem to notice, since there was no response. Then maybe a year later she sent me a friend request. Again, chickened out, and just ignored it. Months later she messaged me asking what was up, and I feel very bad to say I ignored that as well. If she should ever make any attempt again, I plan to answer and explain that at that time she was becoming a drain (more politely than that!), but I'd be willing to try again. Hoping she'll just drop it though, even though I know that's not the right thing to do.
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no. there's been some drifting that i consider natural/normal, but your situation sounds a bit more out of the ordinary even if there wasn't a "i break up with you" conversation. i'm sorry, that sucks.
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Nope, but I'm broken up with a few!
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Nope. I've drifted away from many, just because I suck at keeping in touch when I move.
Well, once I conciously stopped being friends with someone (or rather, just stopped making plans with her) but it was a somewhat casual friendship to begin with so I wouldn't call it a "breakup".
We had traveling in common, so we went on a long weekend trip to Toronto and it was a disaster. She put me in a really bad situation with a strange drunk guy (long story), was constantly having some sort of drama over nothing (for example, she literally cried at dinner one night because she was the only one who couldn't use chopsticks. Like, cried. And had a mini trantrum because she had to ask for a fork. I mean, some people in this world don't have shoes. GET OVER IT.).
Anyway, after that trip I just slowly stopped responding to her one-on-one invitations and then stopped accepting/issuing invitations even for group events. I just...don't have the patience.
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