Preface: the rest of this is really a rant, the TLDR is give me your chore schedule that your DH actually helps with or help me convince DH that it is perfectly acceptable to have a cleaning lady clean your bathtubs.
I grew up in a very neat house. I get very stressed when the house is not clean because I really do feel like it is my responsibility to keep the house up. I also feel that way about the laundry, kids clothes, cooking and the kid's educational time. (I mean really, is it that hard to pick up a book and read to your kids...)
Whatever. point is that I had a mental breakdown this weekend. I shouted at DD for making a disaster in another room while I cleaned in the back. It isn't her fault that DH hadn't put the dishes in the dishwasher for two days after saying he would each day, that the laundry hadn't been started, that I hadn't cleaned the bathtubs or bathroom floors since I moved in in DECEMBER.
Something has to change, and bless DH, every time I freak out, he steps up and does stuff around the house, but casually mentions all the things I just haven't had time for (filing this pile of papers away, planting the garden seeds, putting away the winter gear, gluing this random toy back together) and I'm DONE.
I want to have a printout of chores that need to be accomplished on a daily, weekly, monthly basis that I can hold him accountable to OR I need to convince him that he can get over having strangers clean his bathroom. He has this thing with laundry too, my mother forwarded a load of laundry after DD was born and he got really freaked out over it. So no laundry, fine, but someone still needs to clean my bathroom floors.