I love my husband to death, but he is not the most organized (to put it mildly). So I end up being the one who keeps track of all the day to day tasks involved in raising our son, running the household, and managing finances. For work I use project management software to keep track of everything that needs to be done and remind my team of tasks and deadlines, and I'm wondering if there is something similar for household management. (The app I use for work is a bit pricey and overkill for managing our household). I'd like an app where I can create tasks that need to be done and have it automatically send my husband text message reminders at pre-specified times, or at given frequencies until he marks the task as done (i.e. you're picking DS up from daycare today, call the bank, etc). Anyone use an app like this they have found works well?
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I haven't used it myself but I have heard great things about Wunderlist. I want to say it has almost everything you're describing. There's a free and Pro version - and you can manage by app or desktop to the same account. I'm seriously considering it for myself/hubs as well!
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following! I want to never have another conversation where I'm like, for the fifth time did you get your flu shot, or where my husband is like, for the fifth time did you book the baby's next doctor's appointment.
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@lindseykaye: Thank you, going to check it out!
@LCTBQE: Part of what prompted this post is me thinking "I need to remind DH about his flu shot" (again), plus about a zillion other things...
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@periwinklebee: We use the Keep app with a joint gmail account. We keep a running daily to do list, grocery list, meal plan, etc that we can both add to. You can cross off the tasks as you go. No reminders but it has helped us so so much with both of us being on the same page.
We also used the joint gmail account to add appointments on our phone calendar so we both see them.
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We have shared gmail calendar where we can put stuff- we have one for kids and one for us, so DH can see DS’s schedule and when he needs to be picked up, and I can see when DH has a work dinner.
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@Tanjowen: @lioneyes: We have a shared calendar but my husband has to use a separate calendar for work (and they aren't allowed to use any google sites on their work computer), so somehow he ends up never checking it. I feel like what I really need is a "nagging spouse" app that will automate my "honey, for the zillionth time, I really need you to do X"
And just keep sending him reminders until something is marked as done.
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My DH also likes the iphone "reminders" app, it's different lists and you can share them and color cde them and its easy t check stuff off. So that's where I put shopping lists for DH but you could also have a to do one (i think you have the option of adding "due by" to lists which could help).
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@lioneyes: Thank you - going to check this out!
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@periwinklebee: I need to design this app and make millions of dollars, I don't think it exists. Wouldn't it be nice if it had a place for grocery lists, caregiver/doctor contact info, a calendar with reminder push notifications, to-do lists that could be organized by category (home repair, money, kid, pet, car) and then you could color-code each spouse/user and cross things off in your color to claim credit for actually getting it done.
We just share our iPhone calendars with each other and then for to-do lists, I keep an extremely neurotically organized text edit document on my desktop and occasionally email it to him.
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@LCTBQE: Start up idea?
Something similar exists for the business world - in the form of Jira + Confluence (they are awesome plus have a zillion open source plug ins to make it have whatever functionality you could imagine) - but it's priced for business and a bit overkill for a household. Definitely some up front costs to learn how to leverage it. And both DH and I have to normally be logged in to our work accounts.
It seems like such a no brainer that something like this for personal life management should just come pre-installed on the iphone. But I guess maybe we're extreme in our preference for neurotic organization combined with our husbands being the exact opposite!
I will let you know whatever is the best solution I come up with...
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Check out Cozi!
We pay for the gold version, and it’s totally worth it! -
Great ideas! I could totally use something to keep myself & ideally both me & DH better organized!
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@jennlin821: Thank you, definitely going to check it out!
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People swear by Cozi! I haven't used it.
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I just started using Cozi a few days ago (doing a free 14 day trial of gold) and i’m very hopeful! To do list, contacts, grocery list all in 1 place and synched over family - with the ability to send reminders
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@psw27: @MrsF: That's great that there's a free trial - definitely going to check it out!
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Ugh I need something like this too! DH has a crazy busy job and can go many days without checking his personal email so I need something that isn’t email based.
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Surprised nobody suggested this yet:
Make a Note in your IPhone Notes and add DH as a user. It shows up in your phones and can be tied to your iMac or other Apple products that have the notes app. It has no timer but good for sharing list or running doc. -
@808love: we use the notes in our iPhones too. We have shared notes for shopping lists, goals, packing lists for trips etc.
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So I just talked to DH about this and he says we should just put a white erase board in the kitchen and write the tasks on there because “he has too much on his computer.”
But I actually think it could work for us. Not sure if that’s an option for you!
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@JJ2626: We have it, it helped me and did nothing for DH. Like nothing.
I'm sort of discouraged again now because he forgot something tonight that was important to me, when I reminded him in person like 20 minutes beforehand. He swears he just cannot multitask and cannot remember things, that he wants to but just can't. I'm sure sometimes it is because he doesn't actually care and knows I will take care of things if he forgets, but I'm sure sometimes it is also that he is a genuinely disorganized person, and that's not going to change. I feel like I need to be able to remotely set alarms on his phone or something... It's just discouraging from the standpoint of not wanting to have to handle everything myself...
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@periwinklebee: I'm going to check out Cozi, sounds like what we were talking about! but re your predicament, sounds super frustrating and mentally exhausting and I know you've talked about it before. Is there *anything* that you can just categorically give him that will help lighten your load? Even just tasks--like he does ALL the grocery shopping, or he starts doing daycare dropoff even if it's less convenient for him? if something is important to him, like travel--can he take responsibility for booking all travel, or will it be not worth the effort of having to make sure he booked the rental car etc etc? How does he get by at work like this? And if he's different, is it possible for him to implement some of his better professional habits at home? Just brainstorming here
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@periwinklebee: I’m sorry, it’s so frustrating! Could you send him calendar invites to his work calendar?
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Todoist
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Any.do App is great. Paid version does all of that.
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I use Cozi. There is a paid but also a free version. It is wonderful.
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@periwinklebee: Does he have a smart watch? you can set up a shared calendar and get notifications on the watch which might be helpful if he often doesn't look at his phone/check his email.
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@periwinklebee Have you tried Trello from Atlassian (essentially a free lightweight version of JIRA)? I use JIRA at work and found this easy to use for home.
https://trello.com/ -
@jess: Ooh I liked Trello for awhile!
I showed my mom and she uses it to make a grid of her quilting stuff. Great for projects and lists.
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@jess: @808love: Thank you - it's been on my to do list to check out what Trello can do, and this has motivated me to finally get around to that, maybe this would be a good solution as both DH and I use Jira at work.
@Banana330: This is a genius idea, don't know why I didn't think of this. I'm going to ask if he'd like a smart watch for Christmas. And incidentally, it's been a long time - hope things are going well for you and the LOs!
@birdofafeather: @808love: Going to check these out too!
@JJ2626: I wish, it is some super archaic corporate platform
@LCTBQE: Thank you
I'm sure I'm complaining too much because yesterday was a sort of shit day where I was sick of juggling too many things (at work too) and tired from a LO who has not been sleeping great for awhile due to illness, etc. DH has been great about trying to do daycare pick up/drop off when I ask, but combine subway delays and horrendous traffic and it ends up being unnecessarily stressful for both of us whether he can make it on time... I think his work is basically just dictated by the calendar - it buzzes reminders to join a meeting or finish something for a deadline - so that's why I was hoping that more of that structure for home stuff would help. He is pretty drained by the mental load of juggling a bunch of balls at work, which is also part of why he probably feels like it is just really unpleasant to deal with more of that in the limited hours he's not working. I think we've also talked before about our disparate preferences with our husbands' for getting stuff done at home. I want to get the necessary stuff done right away and then relax if there's time - DH is the opposite. His view is "I said I'd do it, I need to relax now, why are you already blaming me for not doing it", mine is "if it isn't done now, there's significantly lower odds that it gets done, and we need this done." But anyways, I feel like a lot of this is the nature of life with two careers, a kid, and the hassles that come with living in a city. We did consider moving jobs to a more suburban area where I could walk to work and DH could jump off the career treadmill and do something lower key and remote. But ultimately didn't take that path. I'm so impressed that your juggling with multiple kids and now living further out. On the one hand I hope that is our future too, on the other it seems exhausting!
And just keep sending him reminders until something is marked as done.
I showed my mom and she uses it to make a grid of her quilting stuff. Great for projects and lists.
I'm sure I'm complaining too much because yesterday was a sort of shit day where I was sick of juggling too many things (at work too) and tired from a LO who has not been sleeping great for awhile due to illness, etc. DH has been great about trying to do daycare pick up/drop off when I ask, but combine subway delays and horrendous traffic and it ends up being unnecessarily stressful for both of us whether he can make it on time... I think his work is basically just dictated by the calendar - it buzzes reminders to join a meeting or finish something for a deadline - so that's why I was hoping that more of that structure for home stuff would help. He is pretty drained by the mental load of juggling a bunch of balls at work, which is also part of why he probably feels like it is just really unpleasant to deal with more of that in the limited hours he's not working. I think we've also talked before about our disparate preferences with our husbands' for getting stuff done at home. I want to get the necessary stuff done right away and then relax if there's time - DH is the opposite. His view is "I said I'd do it, I need to relax now, why are you already blaming me for not doing it", mine is "if it isn't done now, there's significantly lower odds that it gets done, and we need this done." But anyways, I feel like a lot of this is the nature of life with two careers, a kid, and the hassles that come with living in a city. We did consider moving jobs to a more suburban area where I could walk to work and DH could jump off the career treadmill and do something lower key and remote. But ultimately didn't take that path. I'm so impressed that your juggling with multiple kids and now living further out. On the one hand I hope that is our future too, on the other it seems exhausting!
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