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Housing Commiseration

  • poll: Are you sad about the housing market right now because it feels like you can’t move / buy?
    Yes I totally feel like you! : (37 votes)
    40 %
    Nope, don’t care - already in our forever home. : (14 votes)
    15 %
    Kinda of (?) : (31 votes)
    34 %
    Other : (8 votes)
    9 %
    I like to vote! : (2 votes)
    2 %
  1. turquoisemama

    persimmon / 1481 posts

    Yep! We are going through this now. Trying to figure out if we want to buy or keep renting. I think we should buy but its scary to make that leap and then risk the market crashing again.

  2. MaisyMay

    GOLD / cantaloupe / 6703 posts

    @tofuwad: we rent in Richmond and I work in Oakland. Even rent in the bay area, in a less than desirable neighborhood, is crazy. We have a tiny 3 bedroom cottage and pay nearly twice what my mom pays since she loves up in the Chico area.

  3. Littlebit7

    nectarine / 2243 posts

    Yep. We rent. We are ok with where we are but its not perfect. Lots of compromises. We live in metro NYC. To buy what we want would be nearly 1.5-2 million dollars. TWO MILLION. So alas, we will continue renting. We don't want the burbs so our circumstances are self-inflicted, really so I don't have much sympathy for us (except that DH really has to work in NYC with what he does)

  4. catlady

    grapefruit / 4988 posts

    I get this. We are lucky because we bought our small townhouse right before home prices really skyrocketed here, so we will at least benefit from that when we sell, but obviously we will then be dealing with crazy prices when we are ready to buy. We were originally hoping to move in another 2 years or so but now I'm not sure what we will do. We will probably never be able to afford a single family in the city that we want to move to. We can compromise by getting another townhouse or condo in that city, or else we will have to move to the suburbs. Neither of those options is ideal for us, and we're having a hard time coming to a decision about it.

  5. yin

    honeydew / 7917 posts

    We are lucky to be in our forever home and prices have stayed relatively the same in the last 6 years in our neighborhood. Prices have gone up in surrounding areas, and I'm always surprised. On the upside of things, we refinanced our home a few weeks ago. 2.87% 15 year loan. We're saving over $90k. Interest rates are pretty low now. It's a good time to take advantage of that.

  6. whiskers

    kiwi / 657 posts

    We bought this home with the intention of it being our starter home, but upgrading to a nicer home and neighborhood may be low on the priority list long term and may not happen. We also aren't sure if we will relocate in the next 5 years.

  7. T.H.O.U.

    wonderful clementine / 24134 posts

    We bought with the intentions as well of it being a starter home. It was great for the price (although needed updates) and gave us way more sq. ft than we thought we could afford. Well now with 3 kids and a busy life, we need another room (aka better floor plan) but its going to cost us an extra $50k+ to get what we want.

  8. LuLu Mom

    GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts

    I have the same idea, ideally in our market we should get out this year, but we are not "ready" for another 2 years and my biggest fear is the market will turn and we will lose out on this sellers market. The area we want to move the houses are a LOT higher prices and I just dont' feel like the houses are worth it. I think we've decided to build which means we need to pay off stuff and save so we can build what we want.

  9. JenGirl

    clementine / 756 posts

    I put kind of. We currently rent a single family house. We've been talking about moving cities for the past several years, but it's never really happened. Just a couple weeks ago, my husband had an interview that would have had us moving, but he didn't get the job. So we've never been sure we're staying here for long enough to justify buying.

    The house is fine, with a nice big living and dining room. Now that we have the baby, we could really use a third bedroom, but we make it work. The neighborhood isn't great, but we have some fantastic neighbors that we're good friends with.

    But I'm sick of renting. We have no control over things in the house. There are many issues, but one of my most hated is that, we didn't realize when we moved in, but the hardwood floors were painted dark brown! I'd never heard of this, but according to our neighbors, it's something that used to be common in this area. They looked great when we moved in, but after three years of living here, the floor is literally chipping up, especially in the dining room where chairs are constantly pulled in and out at the table. So now we're faced with what to do now that our son is crawling all over the place. We tested and there's no concern for lead, but I still don't want him eating paint chips! And our insulation sucks. And the basement leaks... It's not a bad house, all together, but it bugs me that there's nothing I can do about a lot of these issues.

    But mostly I just want to be settled. I alternate between wanting to just say we're going to stay in our current town, where I love my job but we don't have family or as many friends vs still trying to move to my hometown where we have a great support community. For now, the husband just keeps an eye out for good jobs in my hometown, but it just keeps us in this constant limbo. Blah.

  10. looch

    wonderful pear / 26210 posts

    Well, I don't believe in the concept of forever home, so I think at some point we will move. This is our first home, but it's not a starter home...the main problem with it is the age of it. It's 50 plus years old and has old house problems.

  11. Silva

    cantaloupe / 6017 posts

    We bought a house that we really love almost a year ago, with the plan to stay for 5-6 years before moving into something more private/with more land (and bigger). I am regularly pretty anxious that that timeline will fall apart and I will start to feel "stuck" here and run out of room. Its fine for now, but it will be way too small for 3-4 kids. Plus I'd always planned on raising my kids in the country and while this house has some aspects of rural life it is on a busy road and we don't have much land.
    I try to resolve my anxiety by often having conversations with my husband about how this new house has to be our top priority, since my kids will only be little once and I want them to have the childhood of growing up with animals/rurally. We will just have to make it work.

    But its hard and sometimes sad to not feel completely settled and to always be looking toward the future for the "next thing." Its an area I need to do some self work on: enjoying the way things are now, gratitude, etc.

  12. Mrs. Carrot

    blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts

    Yup, another condo owner and I totally sympathize. We love our condo and have no plans to have any more kids, but we're in a crappy school district so the motivation to move is strong. We also would like an extra bedroom (we have 2 right now) for our families to visit without having to stay in hotels. Unfortunately here in the DC area, we're basically looking at sacrificing a fairly comfortable commute to move to a better school district where we can actually afford to buy, or come up with an extra few thousand dollars a month to stay close to our jobs AND get the space we want in a location we want. So we're looking right now, with the intention of buying around this time next year. LO will be kindergarten ready in 2018 so we have some time, but similarly, prices keep going up too. Thankfully we've paid off most of our big debts (student loans and our car), and our condo grew in value in the 7 years since we bought so hopefully something will work out.

  13. Raindrop

    grapefruit / 4731 posts

    @MOMTOLITTLEB: Yay! I'm glad you found your house. I think the problem everywhere - low inventory!

  14. Raindrop

    grapefruit / 4731 posts

    @Ms maths: That’s great! We were fairly older when we bought this out too. Our house is kind of an in-between because we didn’t want to move that often but we knew it wasn’t our forever house but it is becoming more and more like it might be our forever house and we have to learn to accept it.

    @Trailmix: *big hugs* Renting is tough!!

    @Autumnmama79: I live in the San Francisco bay area. I actually live in the north south (around - Sunnyvale/ Santa Clara / Milpitas City area). *deleted a lot of TMI. Ha!*

  15. Raindrop

    grapefruit / 4731 posts

    @sunny: Yay commiseration! I have been told no matter what I get I will probably find something wrong with it.

    @junebugsmama: Exactly! Our house went up 250k since we lived here… but houses we liked (I have been keeping track of) near buy that we couldn’t afford when we bought went up 400k! So it is complex.

    With the rising cost of home prices I think the cost of expanding has gone up too? Since contractors are so busy since a lot of people are going that route along with new housing developments. Supposedly.

    @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: True.

    @KT326: Yes! I looked up my first apartment here… and the rent now has gone up 250% since 10 years. I’m really scared for renter!!

    My family is here… but DH’s family is so cali. We are highly considering just moving to so cali because the area he is from is somewhat reasonable right now.

    It’s a tough choice to leave the area… it’s a tough choice to move to cheaper parts of the area (commute!). Blah!

  16. Raindrop

    grapefruit / 4731 posts

    @birdofafeather: We bought 5.5 years ago! It was during the low but not the lowest. Hehe. Our prices bounce back completely though… My townhouse community was sadly built in phase and the first phase was in 2007! The second phase was supposed to be done in 2008 but then the crash happened so they held off and in late 2010 they decided to finish the second phase which is us. With the help of Zillow I knew my first phase neighbors bought 200k more than us but now our townhouse are work 250k more so it bounced back and then some! I’m glad you were able to find something 100k cheap! Score!

    @808love: Thanks for the suggestion! I go through this exercise once in a while also! It does help make me feel better. Right now nothing is worth it for the benefits gained and lost if we sold and bought right now.

    @sometimesshesings: Yes! Feel so similar. My family is here… it’s hard for me to want to move but sometimes DH and I look at housing listings in other areas and think wow our equity can pay that and we can live without working for a *long* time. We have been saving money for another house…. We can literally pay off our townhouse with it. This is what makes it extra tough for me because do I want to be more in debt? I feel being house poor is not where I want my life to be going.

  17. Raindrop

    grapefruit / 4731 posts

    @PurplePeony: Haha I think this is how a lot of current home owners feel in my area. A few coworkers have complained about the same thing. Sorry I’m a boxy townhouse dweller! It was all we could afford!

    @Boogs: Yes! Don’t we all? I want my kids to grow up somewhere forever and know that’s home when they go off on their own. That’s the dream!

    @tofuwad: “I vacillate between bitter and accepting of this area.” *high five* Yes this is me! Well said!

    Wow living in Mountain View is a dream I can’t even afford to dream! I haven’t looked in that area because I know its way out of our ledge. It’s so close to so many jobs! DH and I both work around there, our commute would be amazing if we lived in Mountain View.

    I hear you about if your boss can’t afford what luck do we have?! Ditto.

  18. PawPrints

    pomegranate / 3658 posts

    Sort of. I entertain the idea sometimes that it would be nice to be in a bigger/nicer house, but the market right now is putting all my (extremely picky) requirements out of what I consider a reasonable price range. But I wouldn't say I'm bummed about it, since I still love our current house, so I'm okay taking our time until the perfect house at the perfect price magically comes along. In the meantime, we're enjoying the value of our current home climbing higher and higher. (Our neighbors just put their identical house up for rent for nearly double our monthly mortgage payment...)

  19. Raindrop

    grapefruit / 4731 posts

    @turquoisemama: Yes it’s a tough call! I thought the market was going to go down 6 months ago but it has done nothing but gone up and up! It’s hard to predict and hindsight is 20/20. Good luck!

    @Littlebit7: “We don't want the burbs so our circumstances are self-inflicted, really so I don't have much sympathy for us” <- *big hugs* haha I’m the same. I *could* move to a cheaper part of the area but the commute would be killer. I know I’m a big whiner but I want to whine!

    @catlady: Okay I think you are in the exact situation as us! Bought our townhouse at a great time and we originally planned to move in 5-10 years (it’s been 5.5 years) but with housing prices it feels like we need to act now. Hopefully things turn around a bit in 2 years for both of us!

    @yin: Wow that’s amazing for you! Yeah we got refinanced a few years go. It’s great getting a lower interest rate. I’m happy you are in your forever house! A little envious though! Hehe.

  20. kodybear

    pear / 1616 posts

    i voted kind of. we live in a high cost of living area (an average sized house in our neighborhood is in the millions!!). we did recently move to our forever home so we're not looking to move for a long time. but the market still depresses me! ha. its just sad how much more house we could've gotten just a couple years ago. but then we wouldn't have been able to afford this house without the market going up. so a double edged sword i guess.

  21. Raindrop

    grapefruit / 4731 posts

    @whiskers: Right with the housing market I feel like our plans are always changing. It’s really hard to plan for our housing future with this crazy housing market right now.

    @T.H.O.U.: Commiseration! I hear you!

    @LuLu Mom: Yes! I have these same thoughts.

    @JenGirl: Being in limbo is terrible! I know what you mean about wanting to be settled. It’s how I feel about being in a “starter” house, I never feel like I want to do much to the house because we will just move anyways.

    About your floor situation. How about big rugs? You can get them fairly cheap at discount stores like TJMaxx and Home Goods. Just throwing something out there.

    @looch: Ah interesting point of view. It would help me stress out less if I changed my point of view to that. Thanks!

  22. T.H.O.U.

    wonderful clementine / 24134 posts

    @looch: Yes this exactly. We aren't in our forever home because I dont know we will have something like that. But what we were able to find isn't really a starter home either. Its a full 1800+ sq ft but its older. I think we were just naive about some of the flaws.

  23. KT326

    pomegranate / 3438 posts

    @Raindrop: just looked up rent for our first apartment from 5 years ago and it has doubled. Yikes, it was a pretty crappy apartment too! My DH grew up in this area and he is very picky on where he wants to live. We are so lucky to live in a privately owned duplex, the owners are so awesome. We are thinking of relocating in the near future, it just depends on where I can find a job.

  24. PurplePeony

    pomegranate / 3113 posts

    @Raindrop: the problem in my neighborhood is that the boxy townhouses are FAR from affordable. Developers buy a $500-700K SFH, tear it down, build 2-4 townhouses on the lot, and sell them for $750K-1.5M each. It's not helping the housing situation, only lining developers' pockets at the expense of the look and feel of the neighborhood. If they were actually affordable, I'd be a little more sympathetic...

  25. Raindrop

    grapefruit / 4731 posts

    @Silva: Thank you for your comment! You said how I am all the time. Yes I know I should learn to be happy with what I have now and not look so far ahead. I also talk to DH a lot about this (like once every few months!) for him to help me control my anxiety. *big hugs* I hope your timeline works out!

    @Mrs. Carrot: Same situation! Thanks for your comment. I’m not alone.

    @PawPrints: That’s a good attitude! A unit went for rent near us with one less bedroom for twice our mortgage also. I always wanted to rent out our “first” home but I don’t it’s possible to buy another home without using the equity in this one (to make it the other house have an affordable mortgage) which also bums me out a bit. I’m normally a cheery person too. Haha.

    @kodybear: I’m glad you are in your forever house! I know what you mean about getting more house a few years ago. We just weren’t ready back then!

  26. Raindrop

    grapefruit / 4731 posts

    I just want to thank everyone that commented. I hope I got to everyone! Sorry if I didn't. I was just stressing out and I feel a lot better knowing that I'm not the only one in this situation. I thought I would be pretty much the only one on these boards in this situation for some crazy reason. Anyways, thank you all!

  27. Raindrop

    grapefruit / 4731 posts

    @KT326: I know it's crazy here! DH looked up his apartment recently 5 years ago and it went up 100% but it was pricey to begin with.

    @PurplePeony: *jaw drop* That's crazy!!

  28. BSB

    hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts

    I feel like we could buy a home right now but I'm job hunting soon and will probably be moving to a more expensive housing market. Oh well, we'll make something work.

  29. Boogs

    hostess / papaya / 10540 posts

    @Raindrop: Exactly! With my youngest starting kinder, I worry about having them change schools, we've also planned on making sure they can stay with their friends.

  30. Raindrop

    grapefruit / 4731 posts

    @Boogs: OMG I use to worry about this a lot! A bunch of people and then some have really comforted me saying that it's good for kids to change a little once in a while (like 1 or 2 big moves in their lives) builds character they say...

    A lot of people that moved when they were young or not so young said they turned out fine. It reminded me that I changed schools in 4th grade and it's true I did fine during that. I didn't keep in touch with my old classmates though but I don't really miss them if that makes sense.

  31. littlejoy

    pomegranate / 3375 posts

    We're renting in a city that's having a housing crisis. The market is inflating so quickly (people from CA are moving up here and paying cash for home here). It's sad and scary that we love our city so much, but might not realistically be able to buy here.

  32. Boogs

    hostess / papaya / 10540 posts

    @Raindrop: See I made some big moves, and really felt the effects of it. Though it probably didn't help that it was at the beginning of middle school and then again the beginning of high school.

  33. Raindrop

    grapefruit / 4731 posts

    @littlejoy: Bummers sorry to hear! I think that's what Chinese investors did to California (I'm Chinese but not a Chinese investor... hehe).

    @Boogs: Sorry to hear! Okay back to worrying about this!

  34. 2littlepumpkins

    grapefruit / 4455 posts

    Uh we're still in a rental apartment so I'll just be glad when I don't have to share laundry facilities. And it's not like we don't pay a good amount to be here, either. This area is pricey... (California) It is what it is though. I guess we'll just have to suck it up and work hard and hopefully it'll pan out eventually!

  35. Boogs

    hostess / papaya / 10540 posts

    @Raindrop: Lol kids are resilient, I'm sure things will be okay in the end.

  36. Nutella

    persimmon / 1045 posts

    @Raindrop: I feel your pain. We are looking to buy a house after moving countries back home & I regularly feel like I just need to come into a large amount of $$$ to afford anything nice/in a decent area. Prices have been skyrocketing and most places we see are easily $1mil and over. It's uber depressing and gets me into such a spin! Especially as lots of our friends bought just before the market went nuts, so we've been invited to lots of dinners to 'see our new place' and it's pretty hard to not feel down! Especially as all those equivalent houses would be well over $1mil and out of our reach. Plus I never wanted to spend that much in the first place, so it's a really tough situation! Hoping something suitable presents itself soon (or I win the lotto)!

  37. 2littlepumpkins

    grapefruit / 4455 posts

    @Boogs: @Raindrop: JMO but I don't think moving makes or breaks kids. I moved several times. I do remember thinking it'd be nice to be one of those never moving kids, but I don't really remember dwelling on it much. I made friends pretty easily. You gotta do what you gotta do!!

  38. dc yoga bee

    grapefruit / 4770 posts

    @nana87: I could've written your post to a t! I went to law school while my friends were all out buying nice homes, and getting settled in their careers. I graduated 2012, and it took 3 years of aggressively saving, foregoing vacations and all the other DINK lifestyle, and we finally built our "starter" home. I say starter because it's over 2300 sq ft, so we could definitely be here long term. But, the compromise we had to make is we still couldn't afford single family in this DC market. They're new new construction townhomes where we picked the lot, floor plans, and everything inside. I remember too whenever we visited friends how badly we wanted a house of our own! It sucked at the time to get all that education, and it still take years. Hang in there!!

    We know we want to be in a single family, but that's going to cost upwards of $600-700K in our burb. Our county has the best schools in the state, so we definitely want to stay here long term. But, thinking of how we will be able to afford that kind of mortgage makes me glad we at least do have plenty of space here, and it is shiny and new lol. Our current plan is to move in 5 years, but we bought knowing we may really be here more like 10. The market is only going up, and interest rates are rising.

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