I was thinking the other day that we should start teaching our 4-year-old about strangers - he's pretty social, and doesn't really have much of a natural fear that would keep him from chatting with a random person. How did you get the message across that there are bad people out there (without terrifying your kid)?
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We talk about "tricky" people. As much as it pained me to do so, I told her a story we heard about a local playground where a man was trying to talk to kids who were playing on it (it's a huge playground where kids will probably be out of eyesight of parents for a short time if they're fast).
We explained that if she is ever spoken to by an adult at a playground or anywhere that is not us or her teachers, she should run back to us or her teacher and let us know. We also told her that an adult should never ask a child for help so if they do, also run away, to where you think we are. Fast. As fast as you can.
She then asked us "what if a child asks for my help?" We had to think on that one. We told her that if a child asks for her help, she should walk the child over to us so we, the adults, could help. We told her that if a child says her parent needs help, she should also run to us and we, the adults, can help.
I let her sit and watch TV in the kids shoe section of Nordstrom while I was shopping in the kids clothes section and we discussed this same thing before I let her sit there. She came running over to me at one point because a sales lady had spoken to her - she had told her she liked her dress. Either way, she's getting it.
ugh. I hate thinking about these things!!
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I've seen things about "tricky people", and how to teach kids that adults should never be asking kids for help. I'm interested to see what other's approaches are.
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We've had an incident while shopping - some woman started talking to DS from her car while DH was out of view, and took off as soon as she saw him. We asked what she wanted and DS just said "nothing!" I told him right there to never ever talk to or come near strangers in cars, but I don't think he really understands how serious that is. DH was really the one that needed a talking to for leaving the kids where he couldn't see them. I hope my words sank in for him but I guess I'll be leaving work extra early on shopping days to help him.
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We talked about the same... adults shouldn't be asking you to help them.
But I also told him if he is ever lost in a crowd or a store, and he can't find us, then to ask an adult who has a store uniform on or an adult who has other kids with him/her. I don't want him to think he can't ask a stranger for help if he is lost. He also knows our real names and phone number.
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We've talked to LO about "tricky people" and that adults don't need help from kids. Not to go anywhere with a stranger. How to ask for help if she's lost.
Later my mom asked her what to do if she can't find her parents. She said she should find a grownup and get in their car so they can take her to her mom. We still have some work to do.
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I grew up kind of terrified of everything. My parents were more about scaring us into submission than empowering us. I'm striving to give her the knowledge and power she needs to manage any situation. And I try to not be paranoid about someone stealing her.
We have "safety meetings" before we go to crowded places. We talk about staying close to us and that she can't go anywhere without us. Or if she's going with someone else we make sure to remind her she only goes with so and so.
We remind her if she gets lost to go to a mom for help. And we talk about how to tell if someone is a mom. Or police. We point out policemen all the time.
She knows her full name and her parents and grandparents names. If she goes with an aunt or uncle we make sure she knows their name too.
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Following. We had 2 incidents in my "safe" town this week where the same man in a car followed elementary school kids walking home from school alone and tried to convince them to get in his car.
No idea where to start with my 3 year old, but clearly need to say something soon.
No idea where to start with my 3 year old, but clearly need to say something soon.
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