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We had a list of names we both liked. A couple were the front runners, but we kept coming back to one in particular.
For us, it's important to BOTH really like the name. We joke that if she had been a boy, she would probably still have no name. It was SO hard to agree on boy names! Similar to you, we would voice names and if we both didn't immediately veto them, they went on "The List." Over time, we were able to narrow it down more and more as we had a smaller pool of names to choose from. We love her name, but even until she was born I had moments of "are we sure??" It just felt odd to have her name without seeing her yet, though when she was here there was really no way we could imagine picking something else out.

As far as getting shot down- I think getting opinions on names you like is just part of it. We picked a name that is old-fashioned but becoming popular. My parents didn't like it at first, and I could tell a few people I worked with thought it was odd, but it didn't change my mind at all. People probably will keep their comments to themselves for the most part or just say things like "oh, that's different!" which is what I heard more than anything else. Now that she is here and we share her name, people are really sweet about it and never say anything off-putting.

It was fairly painless for both girls. We knew we wanted names that sound okay in both of our languages/cultures, so that really narrows that the potential list. DH is not a researcher, so I researched names from his culture that I thought still sound good in English--thought about the potential names for a good while and really "tried them out" in my head, and then eventually narrowed them down to my top favorite names.

Then I let him pick from those names. Win-win, since they were all names I liked, but he had a choice.

The only sticking point was LO2's middle name--I was absolutely dead set on using my dad's name, because he passed away when I was in college. But DH kept insisting that it's a boy's name (I don't care about the gender thing for middle names), but I eventually convinced him in the 3rd trimester.

We put names we liked on post its and then we each picked a couple that we liked. We removed all the losing names and then we concentrated on pairings of the names that worked best.

Then we chose our son's name from the pairings when he was born. He just looked like his name!

DH had a list of 5 names and I had a list of 5 names. We then crossed off 3 names in each others list that we didn't like and were left with 3. Then we called her each name for a day and only 1 felt right!

We both had specific criteria (He wanted a very Hispanic sounding name that sounded good in both English and Spanish and I wanted it to not be in the Top 100 and for it to have a cool nickname). That narrowed the list to about 50 names and from there we crossed out the ones either/both of us hated and we had about 8 left with one clear frontrunner.

We each made a list and then vetoed names off of the other's lists that we didn't like. Then we went through the lists and thought about each name and the meaning and finally decided on some frontrunners. We did not name LO until he was born.

While we were dating or newly engaged, DH mentioned that if he had a boy, he'd always wanted to use a family name (his grandmother's maiden name). I LOVED that name so it was decided.

It was more difficult with DS2 since we had such a strong love for DS1's name right away. Plus there was the family tie. I kept a short list of names and DH would tell me what he thought of them, usually vetoing most. I kept coming back to a name that my really good friend used for one of her twins, who were born right after DS1. That became the name to beat. Nothing did. Out of respect, I made sure she wasn't one of those that would get mad if you used "her" name. Thankfully she's super cool and that's now DS2's name too. The boys love that there's a big C and a baby C.

I'm a little neurotic.

I've kept a running name list updated for the past 8 years. Names that lasted the test of time (2 years) made it on the shortlist, others were moved to "back burner" and shared with communities and others.

I've always been pretty hush hush about my top name choices. I like fairly traditional names but I don't like them to be too popular. I strongly prefer if there wasn't a religion connection to the name. I wanted names that were timeless, strong, elegant, yet a little unique.

I also didn't want to jinx it and make it popular or have someone near me "take" the name by posting it all over forums and boards. I know it's a little self important, but I'm paranoid and it makes me feel safer to keep it under wraps until I know those names are it.

On my spreadsheet, each name has meaning and origin beside it and a grade of preference. Then examples of these names in different desirable combinations for first and middle.

Then, I made the tough cut down to 10 names for each sex, and two possible first and middle name combinations.

On a whim, I texted them to my husband (who has NEVER taken names seriously). Always says no or throws out weird suggestions he picks up in the moment (like if he's watching TV).

I told him to take his time, don't respond right away, but when he was read to choose the top 5 from my 10 and rank them. I told him to indicate that if he'd like veto powers on up to three, he could.

A few minutes later, he ignores my procedural text and just responds with a simple text that stated my favourite names and one of the others on the list to make a cute middle combination. No fuss, no muss! I loved it immediately. And the decision has been made. One for boy, one for girl.

My hubby and I both just finally agreed on two names that both sounded "right" to us. We would throw out names here and there and if either one of us wasn't sure it was something we loved we said no. Then that name was out. I think once we heard the names we agreed on we both just knew they were right (we had to decide on a boy and girl name - team green).
Maybe it would help not sharing the names with anyone except the two of you. That's what we did. Then we didn't run the risk of someone telling us they didn't like the name. We knew we loved the names and that was all that mattered.

With #1 it was a long drawn out process of each of us suggesting something and the other shooting it down. I originally vetoed DD name when DH suggested it but came back to it at 38 weeks. She wasn't officially named until she was born though, we went in with 3 names.

LO#2 I suggested a name for each sex and DH hasn't complained. They boy name is after his Grandfather and I told him that gave me the naming power for the girl. I may change my mind on the girl name since we are only 16 weeks.

From the start, I came up with name ideas and immediately tossed them if he didn't love them. We kind of knew right away!

I decided the name, and that was it. If DH absolutely hated it, he would of said something, but he was fine with it.

We were having a hard time coming up for a name for DS and we each had a list of five or so that we liked. I was getting frustrated that we didn't have a name so DH came up with a game (that we did mostly over email during a work day!) where we combined both of our lists and took turns crossing off two names and adding a new one if we wanted. Eventually we got down to the top two contenders and sat on them a few weeks before deciding on one. It worked really well and I'm so proud of DH for coming up with and initiating the idea!

I wrote the names I liked down on pink and blue post its and put them on a wall. Then I said to him remove the ones you don't love. We ended up with one boy and one girl name.

New plan is to teach my son to say the name I want and hope DH thinks it's so cute he goes for it.

@Mrs. Champagne: I like this idea!

For DS, we just had names almost immediately, I can't really remember much back and forth. We had two first names we were crazy about and two family middles names we loved and that was that. Fast forward to LO2 and the girl name we picked we're halfway okay with, we want a different middle name but can't agree and we used the boy name we loved so we are totally at square one there!