Hellobee Boards

@illumina: I agree with @Adira: about letting people know if they've said something that offends you. It gives the chance for clarification; for example, people finding the statements WOHMs make about needing to work to have an identity as offensive. But in reality I don't think it's meant the way you're taking it - heck, I am a SAHM and sometimes I still worry that being a mom is taking over my identity! And that doesn't mean that all SAHPs feel that being a mom/dad is their identity, or have a problem with it even if they do feel that way. It's just something that varies from person to person in what they want from their life. IMO it's much more offensive to tell someone they're not raising their child, but clearly that has already been addressed.

And I must say, I find it ironic that you have a problem with users policing each other, but are basically policing them by telling them to stop telling others when they are bothered by something and to just move on. I know that sounds critical, but it's something to think about - you can't have it both ways.

I am in total agreement though that I've had enough of the WOH vs. SAHM threads. Generally I just don't click on them, because really, how many threads do we need for people to talk about why they stay at home or work, if they wanted to stay at home or work, if their parents stayed at home or worked, and on and on and on. I don't really think the different boards @mrbee: suggested would help anything because it's easy enough to gear a thread towards other parents who work/stay at home. The problem is the threads that apply to both groups where the same things about the decision between working and staying at home are rehashed over and over. But I guess I'm not generally aware of the debates or things said in those threads since I typically just scroll past them.

To answer the OP's question: For me, working at home part time and being a full-time SAHM is the best of both worlds. I'm so grateful for such flexibility and understanding with my job. I'm going to be taking a leave from work when LO2 gets here. Not sure at this point when I will return but thankfully DH and I are in a good place financially that allows me to do this. I do want to return to my career eventually.

What happened to "it takes a village to RAISE a child?" I understand the word raise vs care has a deeper connotation of instilling values perhaps, but isn't any influence a vehicle in which values are shared?

People learn from what they are exposed to. Whomever is watching your child will influence your child. Why is "raise/raising" such a bad word?

This thread has been closed at the request of the OP.