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We wanted them close together so that they will hopefully be really close. They can play together with the same things which will be nice too!

We aimed for a 2 year difference and got it almost exactly. I have brothers +/- 2 years of me, and DH has a sister 4 years younger which he felt was too long. We also think it'd be better for both of our careers to get the small baby / limited traveling time out of the way all at once instead of spreading it out, so we can both excel more (since we're on the younger side and weren't super established before we started).

DH and his brother are 2 years apart and he really liked the gap. My brother and I are 4 years apart and have never been close. My sister and I have a 16 year gap (she was adopted). I thought I wanted a 3 year gap but we, ok me, also wanted our kids born in even years. I also wanted to have them young. All this to say that mine will be 22 months apart which we hope will be great.

Well....I wanted to nurse for about 18 months, and I wanted to have at least 6 months with my body to myself. So we figured we'd wait 2 years before we started trying. We have since decided to wait until my husband is almost done residency (so we will start trying closer to my daughters 3rd birthday) because NO MORE BABIES DURING RESIDENCY.

There is so much that goes into this decision.

For starters, I don't put much stock in the idea that kids will be closer/get along better based on an age difference. In my family there are all sorts of spreads and relationships and nothing seems to match up - it's all way too dependent on personality, and you can't plan for that.

Before we started TTC #1, DH and I figured we wanted 2-3 kids all 2 years apart because we thought it would be better for us/our lifestyle to have a few really hard years (get all the pregnancy, sleepless nights, breastfeeding, diapers, etc. out of the way at once) than to let our first have some independence and then start all over again...

But when we were TTC DD, we discovered that I have some health and fertility issues that mean we really need to have our kids close together. On the advice of my doctor, we started TTC #2 when DD was 9 months old... but no luck yet. I'm out this month, but if we are successful within the next couple of months, our kids will be right around 2 years apart, so I here's hoping!

Finally, all of this is based on our situation - we are in a place financially and career-wise that we don't need to take those things into consideration. But I recognize that those things are important factors in the space conversation.

This could definitely change, since I'm only just now 16 weeks with our first, but as of right now we're planning to just NTNP once LO arrives. I plan to breastfeed on demand for at least 2 years (hopefully), which will give us at least a chance of some natural prevention there. But if not, oh well. We both REALLY hated the TTC process, and after 2 m/c's I'd be really happy if next time we just didn't realize I was pregnant again until I was already as far along as possible. We don't have strong feelings on spacing right now, so we'd be pretty much happy if they were really close or fairly spread out. (We only plan to have 2, btw.) But, of course, there is no telling how our feelings on that might change once we actually have a LO here.

We wanted our kids close and started trying as soon as we felt ready. I felt confident raising two kids when we conceived when DS was 10 months old. Now a month from my due date with an 18 month old, I'm pretty nervous!!

We knew we wanted them closer in age, around 2ish years apart. my brother is 12 months younger than me, and my other brother 17 months younger than him. I liked having them closer in age, but that did not mean we always got along...because we didn't. DH is 2.5 years older than his sister, and he liked that age gap.

The surprise BFP at 7 months pp is really what decided our spacing of 15 months...honestly, it's hard, but we wouldn't change it. IF(and that's a big if) we had a third(not planning on it) we wanted to wait until DD is 3(the 2nd of our children), just so that they would be more independent.

I've always wanted kids 2 years apart, lo is 18 months and we're ttc - it means she can be more independent when she does get a sibling, and hopefully won't be much of a transition for her to become a big sister.

My sister and I are almost 3 years apart (my birthday is 3 weeks after hers) and I think it was a great gap for us. However, we want 3 kids, so we're hoping for 2 years between each of them. Plus, I have baby fever and LO is only 4 months old! I'm not sure what our actual spacing will be though because we'll start TTC when he's one, but it took us 13 months to conceive him. Somewhere between 22-30 months hopefully.

I don't know yet but would prefer either two or three years, on the dot. Kindergarten here starts at four, so I would prefer lo #2 (if we have another) to be a year old by the time dd starts school so that I don't have to deal with packing up a newborn every morning to take her to school. (Dh works early). I also have no help so it will be just me. Three years might be nice so dd is a little more independent, but two years would work as well. Mainly I want to wait and see if and when I feel right about expanding. My doc office tells everyone to wait at least one year, so I don't think I would make the gap shorter.
Eta random detail: my sisters and I are all about 1.5 years apart and we are not in any way close.
Eta another: dh is in school so it would be nice to have another summer baby so he can at least help me for a few days and not screw up his school (again, we have no help at all.)

My OB told us to wait 18 months. We are currently looking at about a 3 year age gap. I'm glad LO will be potty trained by the time we have another LO.

We wanted at least a two year gap. So we started trying when LO was 15 months and decided to let the age gap take care of itself. We just don't want them too close together, but also want to get the baby stage over with in one fell swoop.

I want 3 years apart so number 1 is more independent and perhaps in preschool a few mornings a week. I also would like to have some time where I'm not pregnant or breastfeeding before doing it all again. I never really considered age gap in terms of the siblings getting along. I worked as a nanny for many years and saw all sorts of relationships, including twins who hated each other. I think that has more to do with personality than age spacing.

We wanted our first 2 close. We didn't think it would happen as fast as it did though- they're 13.5 months apart!! I actually love it though.

We want a 3 year age gap between our second LO (DD) and our next one. We're toying with the idea of having #3 and #4 close together too. We'll see!

Money will be the main thing influencing our decision - specifically the cost of childcare.

DH wanted our children close in age and we had previously planned to TTC #2 when E turned 1 year. Then we found out how much a daycare place is!!!!! I wouldn't be comfortable asking my inlaws to have two children part time and we simply can't afford £2000 per month to send two children to daycare. We will have to wait until we get our government sponsored free 15 hours for E (when she is three) and reasses our finances then. It's not what we wanted but needs must.

@photojane: Oh yes, the potty training. For some reason the idea of two kids in diapers is totally overwhelming to me.

Like other posters, I never really thought about age gaps in terms of "ideal relationships." I figure kids get along or they don't, I don't think there is a spacing that makes this better or worse. For us our decision was based on my personal physical needs (space, please give me some space), our life circumstances, and being petrified of having two young babies.

I will say that I thought about this before, but its even stronger in my mind now- I want time alone with each baby during their infancy. My daughter will be old enough for preschool, and I can stay home with the new baby. I like the idea of really trying to dedicate as much time and attention as I can to my babies when they are very tiny.
The only thing that worries me about a 3.5-4 year age gap is that my daughter will be an only child for so long, she may have a difficult adjustment. And my husband and I both know we would not be good "only child" parents- but she will be an only child for a good number of her early years. We just have to try not to spoil her. Hopefully, being broke will help that.

@septca: For starters, I don't put much stock in the idea that kids will be closer/get along better based on an age difference. In my family there are all sorts of spreads and relationships and nothing seems to match up - it's all way too dependent on personality, and you can't plan for that.

^YES. I feel like that is seriously worth repeating, because I always see people make these decisions based on how they got along with their siblings and their age gaps. Your kids are not you and your siblings.

We will have a gap of a year and a half for financial reasons - we can only afford for me to be a SAHM for about another 3 years, so if I wanted to be able to stay at home with our second child until they're close to preschool age, #2 needed to happen soon. Our kids will be 17 months apart.

@wonderstruck: So true!! My sister is 18 months older then me, and my brother 18 months younger then me. We weren't BFF's growing up. We are closer now, but they still aren't the first people I am going to go to if having issues on something.