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We have 2 boys and we are 100% done.

I pretty much felt right away after we had our second that I didn't want more children. I always wanted two, I grew up with one sibling, so it felt right. My husband (one of 3) sort of wanted a third and wavered back & forth (despite my "WE ARE DONE" attitude ;))

A few things contribute to our being done. First, financial. I know that is sort of lame, but it's a real factor. We both work out of the home full time with 2+ hrs of commuting a day, which creates a big and expensive need for full time care. My older son goes to K next year so we'll finally see some savings.... Also, we started saving for college for both of them right after they were born and putting them through college will obviously be pricey. We also really love to travel and are just doing our first international trip together this summer now that my younger son is 2.5.... We hope to travel often, which costs a lot, but is something we're passionate about, and 2 kids vs 3 is more logical. And more along the same lines, we live in the Northeast, cost of living is very high, with 3 kids our house might start to feel cramped and we're hoping to stay there long term....

So I guess a lot of it was financial for us. ALSO, I'm about to turn 38, and my husband is about to be 41, so we're getting to be on the older side which is definitely a factor.... And I just don't think I could go through pregnancy and childbirth again. I'm finally feeling like my body is getting back together after my son was born 2 years ago!

Ugh - it's so hard. I feel lucky that I feel done and my husband is on the same page, it's easy to list of all of the practical reasons why 2 is enough... But I know for so many they just want more children and I think you and your partner just have to go with your gut.

I made a similar post, but more about being sure I am done, just feeling sad anyway. So yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm done with 2, and I think it's about coming to terms with the sadness and being okay with it. Obv I am not THAT sad to totally put having a 3rd on the table again, but I think I need to give myself space to to sad that my last baby is my last baby. I have no idea if that made any sense!

I know no one will regret having another one, but all the pro's you listed are what I'm looking forward to also. My 2nd is only 1 so I still have some ways of being out of babyhood/diapers/etc but there are so much I envision with my 2 that having 3 will seriously deter a lot of it.

And same as others are posting, financially, to not be seriously struggling we need to stop at 2. And age/energy wise, I can probably have another but DH is 7 years older and I think that while we can always go for a 3rd and make it work, I think it'll be tough on him to have a 3rd being 40.

I don't have a good answer for you. I'm in the same boat. We have two girls and I love that, logistically, life with two would be easier. We could travel more, divide our time more easily, etc. At the same time, sitting around our dinner table feels a little lonely to me. I grew up as one of three so that's how I envision a family.

Logically I want two, but my heart says three. But, pregnancy and the newborn stage again??? Ugh.

Easy in some ways because DW only wants one So it did feel nice to clear out and donate everything as we finished with it! I do think about having another tiny baby around (a lot actually) but I don’t ever think about having another kid. Does that make sense? I think the question is answered for me personally because multiple children doesnt appeal - just multiple wee newborns does Give me all the babies!! Haha.

About a month after I had my second, I very much knew I wanted a 3rd. I knew that I had a third child in my heart as crazy as that sounds. When she was born, my family felt 100% complete. All I can say is that it was a strong feeling.

I still get sad at the thought of no longer having a baby. But it’s more the aspect of them growing up, not necessarily wanting another child.

I am like 95% of the way to accepting that we are done. The reason is because when I think about it, I just do not want another baby. I love my babies and all that came with them but I don't want to go through it again.
We have 3 boys and I feel like people love to ask if we will try again for a girl and my DH said something that really resonated with me...if we were meant to have a girl we would have by now. So for those two reasons I feel done with having babies.

Also i know a lot of people who had their first two close together and then waited even 5 years before having another, and were ready because they had reset on all the baby stuff and still wanted to try again. Most of those people gave away their stuff though!!

I am so conflicted about this too so definitely following this thread. What some said about not dealing well with small children, being stretched thin, and never feeling done in your heart resonates. I went through pregnancy and babyhood with #2 assuming we’d have another, vacillated for months about whether we’d have a third, spent a few months in the 2 and done camp, and now am back to wavering. Our plan is to wait and see how it is with our girls in school (or at least one in kindergarten), and also ask for their input. We work full time and I feel like their opinion at probably ages 4 and 7 could be a true test of whether or not we could handle another. If they say yea right we don’t see enough of you as is, then no #3. I also want to try a few trips before then and if we enjoy it a lot then maybe we don’t sacrifice those experiences and stick with 2.

Don’t ask me, I’m pregnant with #3 and already considering #4!

@Mrs. Pickle: What your MIL say is so true! If money/age/energy etc are not factors, I'd be having ALL the babies but still you gotta be done at some point!

@Becky: I am so there with you! But I had our 2nd thinking we're done, and I am mostly just accepting that we're done and mostly happy but then there are days when I wonder too. I think I'm just gonna assume I'm done for now. DD2 is only 1 so we def aren't pressed for time

@hellobeeboston: I pretty much agree with everything! We are very similar in situation!

While the idea of having another beautiful child seems lovely, I personally don’t feel like I can handle a third. I don’t always feel like I can divide myself enough for my kids already, and I think I’d feel overstretched. My teaching job is demanding too. Luckily both my husband and I are happy and thankful for our 2 healthy boys.

I’m really starting to feel like myself again. My body is back. My relationship with my husband is the best it’s ever been. I’m so happy to be moving out of the baby phase. That’s how I know I don’t want a third. It’s pretty personal though.

I’m currently going through this debate as well. My younger one is only 13 months, though, but I’m 38 and was diagnosed with a diminished ovarian reserve so I don’t have a lot of time to make a decision. I had issues conceiving my second so we had decided to just to NTNP and just see what happened with having a third when I ended up pregnant that first month. I ended up miscarrying a couple weeks ago at 9 weeks. I was definitely conflicted the entire time - worried I was taking on more than I could handle in a two working parent household, worried about the age gap being less than two years and this not letting my baby be a baby for long enough, etc. I had always envisioned having three so I vascillate between wanting to try again and not wanting to deal with another loss, pregnancy, newborn, etc. I know I don’t have to decide today but I also want to know what my life plan is and whether I should get rid of baby and maternity stuff. It’s hard.

I just feel done, which is wonderful since logistically and financially it also works out best to have two. Obviously there are loads of objective reasons that two is better- normal car, two parents and two kids means everyone has a parent at their soccer game, normal tables at restaurants... but this aren’t really good enough reasons if you do want a third! We just feel like our family is complete. Plus I feel like I couldn’t handle a third pregnancy and having a third infant. I couldn’t handle splitting my attention between yet another kid and the two I already have. I don’t feel like it would be fair to my kids I already have because I know what it does to me.

The only thing that ever gives me pause is seeing DH rough housing with little boys. He always wanted a boy and we have two girls, who are awesome but are not as into rough housing and boy things. Of course having a third doesn’t mean t would be a boy and if it was doesn’t mean it would be a boy who likes the kinds of things DH envisions doing with a son anyway.

@Foodnerd81: I feel like I’d feel 100% done if we had had a girl. But that desire for a girl makes me want to try again

@Foodnerd81: it’s weird how it works out. We probably won’t have anymore for all the logical reasons but my heart wants one more because it has convinced my head it would be lit girl.

@QBbride: Both DH and I come from big extended families (we each have about 20 cousins!) and I’ve always had this vision of my grandchildren having lots of cousins and enjoying big family gatherings which is part of why I can see myself having a bigger family. It makes me sad that my children will only ever three cousins and they’re not going to get to experience the big family love that DH and I had as kids. I’m pretty sure that having four kids is tough but I think the rewards would be worth it (although four does complicate the logistics!)

@Cherrybee:

Both DH and I always wanted 2. I felt like 2 would be manageable but 3 would be too much for me. We had a hard time getting pregnant with #2. My age is also a huge factor. For all of these reasons I knew/know I am done. Our family feels complete. I honestly couldn't handle having a 3rd kid, I give every one with big families kudos. I go cray cray with my 2.