I've posted about this before.... but now I'm freaking out even more. LO is flower girl in my sister's wedding, and I'm MOH. I knew the wedding started at 7, and her bed time is 8 so I felt good that we'd make it at least through the ceremony without a melt down. But now I learned that the cocktail hour is before the wedding so we won't get to the ceremony until 8. My sister is very laid back and won't care if LO has a freak out luckily, but I still want the wedding to go perfect for her. Plus, I want to be able to enjoy the dinner and dancing, but it's so late that I know we'll have to be leaving so early. We'll be walking back to the hotel so I don't want DH and LO to leave without me because I'm not comfortable walking back alone late at night. I know there's a small chance she can just fall asleep there.... but I'm not counting on it.
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My six month old came to my sister's wedding. We got some of those ear protection headphones (Baby Banz) for him, because the band was super loud, but he seemed disoriented by them and fussed a little when we tried to put them on. But then when he got really sleepy, I put him in the Ergo, put the headphones on, and he fell asleep right away. It was definitely kind of a stressful event, and I felt bad because his naps and bedtime were all messed up, but he had so many people paying attention to him that he didn't cry at the reception. I was glad we brought him in the end. Good luck!
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My 16 month old is the ring bearer in my brother's wedding next month. We're just going to play it by ear and accept that his schedule is going to be messed up. The main issue is that there is no way he'd just chill in another room and sleep with that much activity. When he was younger, yes, but now, no way. So we're planning on going back to our hotel a little after the dinner, which should be finished by 8.
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@Downward Dog: LO will be 11 months and she would never keep headphones on! She doesn't keep sunglasses or hats on anymore, it would just give her something to grab and play with and keep her awake. And she's way too big for a carrier, we're going to try to get her to sleep in the stroller. She used to be good at that, but not anymore. Hopefully she'll be so tired that she'll pass out. I'm hoping naps will be ok because DH is in charge of that while I hang out with the bridal party, but we'll be in a strange place so that'll probably be off too.
@looch: I'm jealous! I know it's my sister's wedding and she gets to decide the times of everything, but it still would have been nice if she thought of us while doing it. I mean really, who asks a baby to be in a wedding that starts at 8 at night?
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@artbee: see if they are doing photos beforehand. It might save some time.
In general though, I hear you, but I don't blame the couple either. It's one of those things that you totally understand once you have a kid and their associated schedules.
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@looch: They are doing pictures beforehand, but I have a feeling it will be during her nap time. I already warned my sister that LO might be missing them and appologized if she did, but I said that I know she'd rather have LO well rested than ruin her wedding ceremony by crying through the whole thing.
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@artbee: I plan to just sweep my son out of the ceremony if he's having a meltdown...I am just not sure how he'll handle it, because when I need my son to nap, he doesn't. It's like he feels my stress about him getting enough sleep.
I'd rather have the littles in the photos than at the ceremony, if I were the bride.
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@looch: DH will be in charge of LO if she's crying during the ceremony since it's my sister and I want to see it. I feel like she can get photos of LO later. It's not just the ceremony that she'd miss if she doesn't nap, it's the whole wedding. I hope she'd rather have us there and having a good time rather then leave super early just so she can have some pictures.
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@artbee: oh you're lucky that your DH is in charge during the ceremony! I think I am going to be in charge because my husband's an usher (there's no other wedding party).
I am going in expecting the worse but hoping to be pleasantly surprised. I think it's all we can ask for with unpredictable toddlers.
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@looch: DH might be in the wedding too, but my sister won't care if he has to step out. Better that then screaming throughout the whole wedding! I know, I'm probably doing all this worrying for nothing and LO will be fine. Oh well.
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Hehe... I was going to say just leave early, etc etc but obviously since you're all involved in the wedding that's not an option. If I were you I'd probably 1) freak out just like you are
and then 2) just prepare as many people as possible to help out (grandma, aunts, uncles, friends, etc) and be prepared to have SOMEone duck out with her as late as possible, maybe to a hotel room nearby where she can sleep and people can take turns sitting with her? I'm thinking Wagon Jr. would probably end up getting super tired, then Wagon Sr. would stroll him around the venue until he fell asleep, and people would take turns sitting with the stroller outside the reception hall until one of us could officially leave.
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OH... and plan NOTHING for the next day since he would probably be all screwed up schedule-wise
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@mrs. wagon: LO still has stranger anxiety- but hopefully it will not be as bad by then. The only one other than DH and I that she lets hold on a regular basis is my mom. I'm sure she'd be happy to help entertain her, but her whole family will be there and it's her daughter's wedding so she'll probably be busy. DH did already offer to put her in the stroller and walk around outside with her though, I just hate to make him do that all night! And the next day...... is our flight home! Uh oh!
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@artbee: hehe oh dear. hope I didn't exacerbate your stress!!
If you take her late into the night she will probably pass out in the stroller, so hopefully your hubby won't have to walk with her too long. AND, maybe she will be so tired from all the activity and late bedtime that she'll sleep on the flight home?? positive thoughts!!! hehe. 
I am so like you though... I like to stress and think about worst case scenario so that I'm prepared for the worst. I'm sure since she normally gets plenty of sleep it will be a one-time thing and she will be fine!! -
@mrs. wagon: DH hates it because I can always find a reason to worry- no wonder I get all these migraines!
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@artbee: My husband's nieces were both in our wedding. One was 13 months and the other was 3. Everyone was prepared for a meltdown from one or both of them numerous times throughout the night. They are VERY routine and do not do well outside of their routine.
But they both surprised us and did really really well on the day of the wedding. The little one fell asleep early and woke up later on. But the older one partied into the night like a champ with my nieces and nephews.
So, you never know, your LO might surprise you! -
@regberadaisy: Great to hear happy stories, hope my LO makes it through the night too!
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Does your sister know any one who can babysit for you at the hotel room so your baby can go back and go to bed at a decent hour and you can continue to enjoy the party? I know you said she's not great with strangers but I know from years of experience babysitting that babies usually cry for about 10 minutes after mom and dad leave and then they adjust and they're just fine once mom and dad are out of sight.
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I haven't been to a night wedding.. or any wedding since I got pregnant with LO!
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@artbee: oh the other thing I was going to mention is do they have a bridal suite at the venue? The girls were able to nap in the bridal suit throughout the day and I think it helped immensely.
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DD was 13 months at my sister's wedding. Her ceremony started at 5, and dinner didn't start until 7; DD's bedtime routine starts at 6:30, and she's normally out by 7:30. Honestly, it wasn't too bad. DD missed pictures because she was still napping (3-4 pm), but we kept her entertained throughout the ceremony with snacks. The reception was easier: we fed her (which kept her attewntion for like 20 minutes) and then she ran around with the bigger kids until almost 8. At that point, we almost had to drag her off the dance floor to go to bed, lol!
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We haven't gone to weddings with the LO because she sleeps by 6:30 and that is usually when weddings start so she would just be a mess. But if she HAD to be in a wedding, like if I had a sister, then maybe I would try and have her nap really late. But that would probably be hard to do at this point, too. Things like that are much easier to do when they are small but not past a certain age. Good luck and I hope the LO does great!!
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I've never taken the kids to a night time wedding but I have pushed back LOs bed time because of night engagements. She may surprise you and do really well, especially with all the excitement of the wedding. Would your husband be able to take her back to the hotel and have someone else escort you back at the end of the night?
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@MamaMoose: I actually have a friend that lives there, but I just don't like the idea of LO being in a strange place, waking up crying and having a strange person there. I wouldn't be able to enjoy the party at all because I'd be worrying about her the whole time.
@chopsuey119: You're going to a wedding soon though right? Are you bringing your LO?
@regberadaisy: No bridal suite- it's in a bookstore. Nap times shouldn't be an issue because DH is in charge of her during the day so he'll just take her back to the hotel probably, which is just a couple of blocks from the wedding. I'm just worried about bedtime.
@Honeybee: Awesome- that makes me feel a little better about this!
@Andrea: Thanks! DH also said that he wanted to try to get her to nap around 6. But she won't nap at that time here, so I don't know why he thinks she will there.
@BoogieBea: That's a good option, I'm sure my mom and/or dad would be willing to do that. That will be my plan B!
and then 2) just prepare as many people as possible to help out (grandma, aunts, uncles, friends, etc) and be prepared to have SOMEone duck out with her as late as possible, maybe to a hotel room nearby where she can sleep and people can take turns sitting with her? 
I am so like you though... I like to stress and think about worst case scenario so that I'm prepared for the worst. I'm sure since she normally gets plenty of sleep it will be a one-time thing and she will be fine!! 
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