Hellobee Boards

He was great and bonded immediately with LO 1. I had a c-section and BF issues the first month so he fed her a lot of bottles of pumped milk. He never seemed phased by the newborn stage..I was a different story!

He didn't bond with LO 2 right away.

I'm so following. M is the same way, he has many qualities that I think will make him a wonderful parent. He loves kids and is never nervous about holding a newborn and quickly gets on the floor to play with little ones. One week to go.

Becoming a mom was kind of automatic for me, but DH definitely had to learn. I could tell for the first couple of months he was taking care of T more out of obligation than anything. Of course I could tell he loved him but he didn't adjust well. Around month 3 I could tell he was much happier and caring for the baby was just second nature to him.

Of course every guy is different but they don't experience pregnancy and birth and hormones like we do so sometimes it's an adjustment and learning process!

He went through phases. When Xander was a newborn, DH was a rockstar and seemed more patient and understanding and caring than I ever was! Once I finally got the hang of things though, DH kind of took a step back and stopped being so hands-on and even seemed to actively avoid spending time with the baby. But as Xander got older and more interactive, DH came back around and got more and more into it and has fun playing with Xander and entertaining him and is back to being even more patient than I am!

He's still learning. He definitely loves H, but right now especially he's having a hard time with not being able to get everything he wants immediately. I think that now that she's older, it's really setting in that he isn't able to do everything that he wants to do (hobby-wise) because we have H now. He used to go mountain biking for hours every weekend and could just buy a new bike/parts when he felt like it, and that's just not feasible with a toddler and a wife who also has her own hobbies (I'm a runner). It's slowly getting better, but it's been rough.

My DH adjusted really easily. It's me who wasn't at all prepared!!

Honestly, it took him a while with our first daughter. I know he loved her right away, but their bond grew stronger when she was around 4 months and out of the newborn phase. That's when he became awesome!

With our second daughter, he adjusted easier of course because he was used to the whole idea of parenting and all it entails

DH was instantly bonded with both of our babies. He doesn't normally handle sleep deprivation or stress all that well, but does an amazing job and doesn't let those things bother him so much when it comes to being a dad.

He had zero problems adjusting. It came completely naturally.

My son is 4, I still consider my husband and I to be first time parents....it's an evolution.

We're still adjusting, with every new stage, there are new issues, challenges and celebrations.

@youboots: I will say that pregnancy has been our worst time in marriage. This one has been better, but my first pregnancy I had quite a bit of anxiety so it was an added stress to our marriage. But honestly we had other friends who delivered within days of us and they talked about how rough it was and they were bickering a lot...but we just didn't have that. Sure we had our moments like anyone but overall it was great. That was even with a reflux baby who vomited (not just spit up but puked through 4-6 outfits a day)

DH is super bonded to our toddler and is a wonderful dad, but I don't think he enjoys the newborn stage. I mean, to be fair, it's my least favorite too But since I EBF and SAH I spend soooo much time with the boys in their newborn stages, and I'm just more comfortable with them at this age than he is. He really started to enjoy parenting when LO1 hit 4 months or so. I think he's cherishing it earlier this time with H, who just started smiling a few days ago and isn't colicky like our first, but he still says he can't wait until he can play and interact more.

He loves kids and was great from the start! However, since we nursed I do think he took a bit of a back Seat and waited for me to come to him since I sort of took control. He has always been interactive buy now that she is older and much less dependent on mommy, he is mich more proactive in taking control and doing things (eg early on he would wait for me to tell him she was fed and I needed him to take her from me so I could sleep. Now, he gets up with her in the morning and feeds her and plays with her and gets her dressed).

Going to be a bit of an outlier here and say... it was really rough. I think his transition into fatherhood was the hardest thing our marriage has gone through so far. I think first we both had a really hard time because we had a really hard newborn. She screamed for hours and hours every day for the first month of her life. We were both sort of terrified of her. Like if her eyes were open she was pissed off so we lived on tiptoes trying not to wake her. And then once we got over the worst of it, he was back at work but she was still really cranky in the evenings so he would come home to a crying baby and a stressed out wife. Add to the fact that I was suffering from c- section complications that put him in the position of having to take care of some not very pleasant medical needs for me (which he did like a rock star and never complained, but still) and some serious eating issues from our LO that left me bleeding and literally crying through every nursing session... I think that he sort of grew to resent how hard she had made our lives. And especially how hard my life was. He saw what a hard time I was having with feeding her and how much pain I was in and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it and that was really hard for him to watch. So yea. The first few months of her life were not good for him. He was a good dad. He did all the stuff he needed to do. He was there for her and there for me. But (un?)fortunately we have an extremely honest relationship and he was NOT bonded to her initially. He felt obligation and commitment to her, but not love. He did not look forward to coming home from work every night.

And I couldn't be mad because he was doing the right stuff and he was trying. But I could tell he was acting out of obligation and not love and it really bothered me. Because I DID fall in love with her (probably around the 4-6 week mark) and it was hard for me to understand how he didn't love her yet.

So yea. It was just really hard. But we got through! LO is 9 mo now and DH is an awesome dad and he does love her. I think he is still not as adjusted to the realities of our new life as I am, but overall I think he is happy and it is getting better all the time.

With DD1 I had post delivery complications so I was taken away to the OR leaving DH alone with the baby for a few hours. I think having this time they were able to bond immediately. But in terms of stages, DH definitely enjoyed her when she got older and more interactive.

@catomd00: @youboots: Totally agree. We had some extra stressors (not baby related), but it was still the greatest year of our lives. It was hard. SO HARD at times, but it was hard in a good way ... It was work I wanted to do. The obstacles were manageable, and we both really fell into our roles. Last week, we were sitting on the couch before bed, and he just said, "I really love being a dad!" -- It made me cry.

He did great. He only ever held one baby before we had LO, so he was super nervous, but he took to it so well. He let me take the lead in the early days, but he was so helpful to me and sweet with our daughter. He's only gotten better as she's gotten older and more fun. Of course we all have our struggles as parents, but bonding was never an issue.

Better than me! So patient and gentle with our son. He loves bringing him into bed with us and definitely coddles him a lot. He did more wakeups than I did and I felt like was more "motherly" than I was. I felt self conscious about it for a long time actually.