So my 4.5 year has been co-sleeping with my and my husband since she was 18 months. I ordered her a bed in February and it was finally delivered two days ago. She loves her room but is scared to sleep alone. I think she legit has some anxiety in general (too scared to go to sunday school at church, but okay to go to preschool with all of her friends).
I can get her to sleep in her room by laying with her until she falls asleep. Then she wakes approximately 4 hours later and searches the house for me and I haven't been able to escape her room thereafter. My 6 yo is an amazing champion sleeper.
I'm headed into sleep deprivation psychosis soon which is how I got into this mess to begin with. Any tips? Please!
grape / 94 posts
It sounds like a sleep association issue, primarily. I would recommend a few different things! There is an Instagram account called Our Mama Village that is amazing. She is a therapist and has a Bedtime Battles course that could help. It would be age appropriate. Another more personalized option would be a sleep psychologist — you should be able to get a referral through your PCP and a lot of the larger hospitals offer services via Telehealth due to the pandemic too. If you’re familiar with sleep association, it’s basically meaning that when your kiddo falls asleep with you in the room, if/when they stir and wake up, they expect you to be in the room. They associate sleep with you. With the way they fell asleep. It’s more complex obviously but it sounds a bit like that! There IS hope — our kiddo had this exact same issue among other things, at the same age! Good luck. I’m sorry this is difficult! I know it’s a long road. But it won’t be forever!
nectarine / 2433 posts
Solidarity. I wish I had advice for you but I am literally in the exact same position. My kids are the same ages too. You don't sleep well though? I sleep well with my little guy in my bed . He's a much better sleeping partner than my husband lol who is gross and farts and snores.
clementine / 973 posts
@agold: We went through this with my oldest DS but when the twins were born, we really needed him going down easier in his own bed. I used a hand made sticker chart. Started with 3 nights then added to the chart as time passed. Basically any night he’d stay in his bed after we read, and stayed the entire night, he would earn a sticker. After he filled the chart he’d get a prize. We increased it over time and eventually did away with it completely after a month or so. It worked for us!
cantaloupe / 6085 posts
Is there an option to have your kids sleep in the same room for a while? Not sure how your beds are setup but when my third was born, we put my older two together and it really helped my middle’s sleep issues. The oldest still had her own room for her clothes/toys/etc but just slept with him (separate twin beds). Just throwing it out there as it seemed to calm him to know his sister was there.
grapefruit / 4043 posts
@togetherthroughlife: thank you! I'm going to look into all of this.
@pachamama: I'm sorry you are in this spot, too! With a CalKing, there is just no room for the three of us. My little one moves around too much. She will drop a heel on my face in the middle of the night, or slice me with a tiny toe nail even though I trim them all the time! Farts and snores are hard, too!
@Jessiemuller88: thank you on the sticker chart! We actually have a big reward for her if she will start sleeping in the bed. Its costly but my husband and I are dying for her to get out of our bed and so cost doesn't matter at this point. I really like the sticker chart to hopefully be a visual for her and give her motivation.
@bhbee: We have thought about this. My oldest girl is such a good sleeper and does not want to sleep anywhere near my youngest. So this will solely be my burden to bear and work through with my youngest.
A few nights in and there seems to be the tiniest sliver of hope.