DD (13 months) cries at the drop of a hat. Today, we were walking around our condo complex which has a bunch of little streams and ponds. She was standing at a railing looking at the pond and put her mouth on the railing. I said "eww that's dirty. Don't put your mouth on that" and a full blown cry fit happened. Usually she's pretty inconsolable unless we pick her up. I want to teach her to calm herself down and not get SO upset over little things. Does your LO do this and how do you deal with it?
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I feel like in her mind there is a reason. I just try to comfort her. Now she's 23 months so she can usually try to communicate the problem, or I know her quirks well enough now that I just know. Something as simple as I forget to turn the lights off makes her cry. If its reasonable I ask her to tell me nicely what is wrong, like I'd say light off please. If its not reasonable like she wants to watch more tv and we already watched a show ill tell her that I hear and understand her, but our rules are only one show, and then I comfort her and/or try to distract her.
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My LO is almost 14 months, and crying for no reason has become more common. Except, I do think there is a reason usually. I think it's just a really frustrating age for babies where they can't coordinate their physical, emotional, and cognitive development.
ETA: We deal by talking through it. I know she can't have a conversation about her feelings, but physical touch and reassuring words are soothing and helping her learn that it's appropriate to put our feelings into words. At least, I'm hoping that will be the end result months and years from now
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If its a grab for attention, I call her out on it, and she laughs.
It's almost always a grab for attention.
ETA: we redirect attention as well, but don't comfort and feed the crying. Most of these things are just experiments with power, and I'm not going to reinforce that crying for no reason = lots of attention. She's generally good if I really look at her and say "are you faking?" or "shake it off sister", she gets over the tears quite quickly! I'll also sometimes another her in kisses, which turns tears into laughter.
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We ignore it. Unless we know shes in physical pain, she gets no attention for that.
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I redirect the fit if I can. I ask him where his water is or his blanket. Often he'll still be crying while he goes off in search of it but once he has it he usually calms down. If it's a tantrum I ignore it as best I can or try repetitive redirect. Or a breather in the PnP or crib.
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@NaturallyCathy: Yes, we try to redirect as well especially if we are in public. Ignoring a screaming LO in public probably isnt the best lol
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@Lindsay05: We had our first lay-in-the-grocery-store-floor tantrum today... After several failed attempts to distract, ignoring worked. Embarrassing, for sure. I didn't think I would be dealing with this so soon!
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I try to get down to her level and tell her it's Ok and try to redirect to something else. If that doesn't work I pick her up and comfort her but also tell her again why she shouldn't do whatever and also tell her mommy loves her in there. And then when we get home I'll remind her of what happened and go over it again. It does get better as they get older so some of it is probably a phase.
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At this age, I redirect. I think a huge part of the tantrums are because they have feelings that they just can't communicate. In a situation like you described, I would have maybe picked her up, told her that licking things is yucky (or whatever) and shown her something else to play with.
We were at a park this past weekend and my LO (who is 16 months) kept rolling around on the ground and crying/whining every time we said no (e.g. One time it was because he found a random water bottle that he wanted to drink out of). We just left him and he would get back up after 30 seconds and keep playing.
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We ignore too - exactly what Lindsay05 said!
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@artbee - that's a good point that in her mind she is crying for a reason. I just want her to learn what's worth crying over. I have this fear of her becoming a whiney and difficult toddler because she's the first one (and first grandchild) and she's very headstrong.
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Sometimes redirecting her works - we'll ask where the fishies or the fan are - both things she loves pointing at.
I definitely think its usually a call for attention. I try to let her just cry it out, but just like when she was an infant, she can go on crying for a looong time. I sense full blown temper tantrums are just around the corner. Ugh.
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Pretty much the same as @Lindsay05: . For the most part she is doing it bc I/we are telling her she can't do something she wants to do. So I ignore her and usually she will stop within 10-15 seconds tops. I swear she will get down on the floor and start kicking and screaming. I just ignore. Then she gets right back up, starts smiling and goes play.
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It is SO HARD to ignore it!! She cries when she can't get the door to her kitchen fridge open and then cries if we try to help her get it open. If she appears to be crying for no reason or if she slipped and scared herself, I'll hug her and hold her. If she is crying because I told her she can't do something or she doesn't like what I said to her (or doesn't like that we turned our heads a certain way when we went to look at her) we will ignore it. She gets over it, usually. If it goes on for a long time, we'll comfort. I can't stand hearing her cry.
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There is a reason - even if it doesn't seem like a big deal to us. I try to respect my daughter's feelings, despite the cause, and that seems to help.
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