Hellobee Boards

My guy is 16 months and I usually try to acknowledge and narrate his feelings ("that must be frustrating that Mum said no") then offer him another option or choice (an alternative rather than a straight distraction). I generally try not to give in but still support him so that he can learn about managing and expressing his feelings.

You can't control his feelings or reaction but you can control yours by not taking it personally, remaining calm and not being frightened of him working out his feelings (not being afraid of a tantrum was a game changer for me!).

You might also want to check out Janet Lansbury, she has some great blog posts and resources on age appropriate behaviour for toddlers.

@Kemma: I need to start working on this. I find myself saying "you're ok" or "you don't need that" all the time. I know he's just trying to communicate his feelings. I should try putting it into words for him cause he picks up a lot when I explain things.

For the head banging, although I don't really think it's a problem, I don't like it when LO does it, so I usually put my hand under his head and say "I won't let you hurt yourself," but otherwise don't stop the tantrum (empathizing, too). LO is only 13 months (so I don't really even consider them tantrums), so they only last 7 seconds. If it continued longer, I would probably move to the carpet or a bed or something.

One thing that helped us was talk through the transition (taking something away) before doing it, even if it didn't seem like she understood. Saying "bye bye" to it and explaining when she would see it again. And what she would do instead. Of course didnt always work but cut down on tantrums a lot. And then validating her frustration and helping her with a coping skill (she likes to lay somewhere with her cheek on a hard surface or bite her lovey).

We have this problem too! same reaction too. I generally find a trade off works better... like you can't have that knife but you can have this spoon. Or I try and distract her with something else before taking the object and do it on the sly. other times I just brace myself and ignore the tantrum and start doing something else fun, she eventually stops and joins me. ugh 15 month olds