Our baby is no longer a baby, she's definitely a toddler. She's breaking rules on purpose to judge our reaction. Up until now we've been doing redirection, but she just goes right back. I put her in her first "timeout" yesterday for purposely scratching me on the face. She had to sit in her chair for 1 minute. She hated it, but it worked. I didn't think she would "get" it but i was wrong! How else do you discipline a young child?
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Timeouts at this age worked with my oldest! We've done it a couple times with my youngest (19m) and I'm not sure he totally gets it yet...
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We've not started timeouts yet...so far redirection works for at least an hour. Her wrongdoings are generally touching things she shouldn't. I'm thinking of starting timeouts soon though. We do timeouts/removal for out almost 3 year old as well but when we aren't home she often gets privileges (like screen time) taken away. That won't work until DD2 is much older so I'm not sure what I would do if I wasn't able to give her a 1 minute time out.
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Sadly I gave her another timeout and she just laughed at me, so that backfired instead of worked!
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With my 19 month old we haven't started time outs yet, it's more physically taking her out of a situation. He new thing is she wants to climb on top of the back of the couch, but once she's up there we'll take her off and she'll scream for a bit but then do it again. She will eventually move on to something else but it's a long process.
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We haven't done time outs with my 19 mo old. She likes to poke my eyes, so every time she does it I stop her and say "I won't let you poke my eyes" and I'll teach her how to touch me gently. Now she will start to poke my eyes but catch herself and say "gentle" and starts petting me instead!
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@snowjewelz: I can't wait until this starts working for my 16 mo old. She keeps pulling the cat's tail. And every time, I say "I don't want you to pull the cat's tail" and move her away from the cat. I try and show her, "This is how we pet the cat." But she just goes back and pulls its tail again!
And don't you know that damn cat just sits there and won't move away. Even though it hates it when she pulls its tail! Like, c'mon dude, help me out here!
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@magnoliamama42: Some things take longer for sure!! I just know for sure time out doesn't work for us, and not everything they do has natural consequences (and they may not understand/care about those consequences anyway)
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What has worked for us, for both LOs, is telling them what they can do instead of telling them what they can't. Basically saying a positive sentence vs a negative sentence. I read somewhere that most of the time when LOs listen to us they only catch the end of what we say. So "No pulling" just translates to "Pulling," but if you say "Gently Pet" then they hear "Pet" and will do that instead. This doesn't mean that my kids don't have tantrums or always listen to me - they are still toddlers. But I think this method has worked for us because it let's my LOs know what they can do and they hear "No" less. Hearing "No" a lot can make them feel like they have no control over anything and no independence.
ETA: I have an 18-month and 3-year old.
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@snowjewelz: It's true. She honestly has no idea that she's hurting the cat or what that means. She just knows she gets a reaction when she does it.
@jojepie: I am going to try this! I started out trying to avoid saying "No". But I haven't been doing a very good job of it. It's really hard! Lol.
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@magnoliamama42: It can be really hard at first, but once you get the hang of it, it becomes second nature. Just try to think of it this way "If she can't do this, what can she do instead?" and make it a positive sentence. Best of luck!
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DD is 19 months and I have put her in a modified "time out" a few times.
Ex: If she continues to jump on the couch after me asking her to sit on her hiny, I just calmly pick her up and tell her jumping is not safe and set her on the floor next to the bathroom, and walk away! She I think gets that I am not happy with the way she is acting anf I allow her to come back to me and she does within a few seconds and I give her a hug and tell her thank you for not jumping anymore, she I think resoonds to the fact that I ignore her even for those seonds and has not gone back to the behavior....but I know all kids are different! -
@jojepie: you and DH were reading the same article. He just told me this a few days ago, and we are all trying to do it! It was hard at first, but it's helping with the dogs at least!
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@jojepie: we use a similar approach. We read "No Bad Kids" which offers a very positive approach and have found it quite helpful already. At 16 months, she is trying to figure out what the boundaries are. Teaching her what is not allowed by teaching what is can be helpful.
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I just say no firmly. She usually cries and wants a hug.
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At that age it was a time out in the crib.
Chair/step didn't and still doesn't work for time out. He repeatedly runs away and laughs. Now time outs are on his bed and he'll usually stay.
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Modeling appropriate behavior/telling them what they can do, and redirection. If it's something in the environment I can move then I will to create more of a yes space. Honestly, I don't think they really have the ability to undeestand time outs until much closer to 2.
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We do the same as Jojepie and catomdoo with our 17 month old. It works well for us.
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@LuLu Mom: at that age when LO would do certain things like try to throw a tantrum. I would just immediately leave the room. It really confused her and she would stop right away. Sometimes not giving attention to certain behavior can end it.
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