cantaloupe / 6630 posts
I don't have a problem with it all. While I would never personally crowd fund for myself, I don't judge those who do. They have probably spent a fortune on infertility treatments and I imagine there will be some people who really want to help them financially. Those who are uncomfortable with it don't need to donate.
Not the same situation but a colleague of mine could not afford any more IVF treatments after spending his savings on them. A friend gave them the money for one more round and it gave them their twins! Sometimes people need a bit of help.
pomelo / 5224 posts
I don't have a problem with it. If I saw a friend or family member post it on facebook or something it wouldn't bother me. I may or may not contribute depending on my relationship with the family and the situation. I could definitely see myself spending baby shower gift money on adoption fees for the family instead.
My cousin's parents set up a crowd funding site to buy my cousin a horse. This was just months after they inherited plenty of money to buy her a horse if they felt she should really have one. People gave. She has a horse. Nothing shocks me anymore.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
I am against it. Having said that, a lot of people here do it. My perspective is that if I can't afford to pay for my adoption on my own, I probably should find a mechanism that I could afford. No one is helping all the IF ladies do IVF... Why should it be any different for me?
I'm also a huge fan of keeping adoption expenses low. Agencies are taking advantage of families and then say "oh, just fundraise!" Sorry, but I don't think that I should ask my friends to help me pay for my child.
I also should say that I'm not particularly find of adoption as religious mission. I don't believe that it is a great mechanism for saving souls.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
I don't like crowd funding to start or expand a family through adoption or IVF. If family and friends are offering financial support that's great, but to solicit funds in this manner is making it seem like it's okay to ask other people to be responsible for one's personal decision.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@Mrs. Jacks: I agree with you. Adoption as a religious mission makes my skin crawl.
I'm also against crowd funding. I would never donate to pay for the average mom's medical bills. If I spent all my money on ivf and couldn't afford adoption, we'd have to find another way to fund it.
cherry / 229 posts
I think crowd funding for adoption is better then crowd funding to get movies or tv shows made. Realistically the problem isn't with crowd funding but with how prohibited and inaccessible adoption is for most people. Money as a barrier to adoption says a lot about who we as a society deem fit to be parents.
persimmon / 1316 posts
I have no problem with it and would support it if it were a family/friend or even a stranger if I felt called to. I have a heart for adoption but the costs are overwhelming so if I could help in someway I would. There are personal and selfish reasons I see people crowdfunding for all the time that I would never donate to though.
I don't feel the same way about fertility treatments though. Having paid 100% of IVF out of pocket I would never dream of crowdfunding for that. It was a personal choice for my husband and I do to it. I feel differently about adoption because there is already a child needing a home out there so you aren't just helping the parents you are helping a child get a family as well.
apricot / 347 posts
I feel like crowd-sourcing family-planning is a serious over-share. You'd never ask your friends and family to pay for your birth control on Facebook. I really think if someone needs this much help it should be asked for in a less public way
grapefruit / 4800 posts
Crowdfunding makes me uncomfortable bc I know I'm judging whatever activity and they're judging who contributes. Like someone crowd funding their vacation I think Ahole, or a lot of those MLM marketing feel like crowd funding to me.
But I understand it with adoption. It can be a big upfront cost. I had insurance to pay my birth costs and friends who haven't crowdfunded their adoption I know have received money from their parents. So I'm not going to judge someone asking their community for help if their parents aren't as wealthy as someone elses.
@msplatypus: I agree. Our safety net has eroded to the point where women who would otherwise consider keeping the child place them simply so they can ensure that there child has access to a solid education, which shouldn't have to be a consideration in how you best provide for your child.
If a mother wants to raise her child, there should be enough of a safety net to allow her to do that in a way that ensures adequate housing, food and education. Nothing fancy... Just the basics.
I bet that would make a lot fewer birth moms feeling coerced into placing.
pineapple / 12566 posts
I'm not against it. I would likely donate to someone I knew personally who wanted to adopt. I've definitely contributed to "less worthy" causes on kickstarter like someone making and album or raising funds to make a film. In both cases I knew the person and believed in them and what they were trying to accomplish.
persimmon / 1436 posts
The only couple I know who was crowd-funded an adoption asked for $40,000 two years after getting married in a wedding that probably cost $100,000 and was featured in magazines, etc. so no, I did not contribute.
persimmon / 1230 posts
I have no problem with it. In fact I just donated $25 to one of my colleague's gofundme site for her adoption. I don't understand why people are bothered by it. If you object to someone crowdfunding their personal choices, don't support them. Adoption fees are insanely high and I was glad to help my colleague. However, like @mrsjacks: I hope that adoption agencies don't use crowdfunding to rationalize high expenses for adopting parents.
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