Would love ideas/perspectives.
DH really wants to buy a house. We have a condo that we’ve owned for 9 years and we could use another bedroom but overall there is no compelling reason for us to buy a house, other than him really wanting to. I never lived in a house so for me this is really not a huge thing but because it’s so important to him, I’ve gotten on board.
Earlier this year we put our condo on the market and it didn’t sell after 5 months and multiple price drops. No one really could help us figure out why- the place is in good condition and similar units were selling- but alas. We went off market because LO was starting kinder and we didn’t want to be in staging/selling mode during that transition.
DH wants to try again next year. And I don’t. I want to support his dream but I have this feeling it’s not the right time for us. In 2 years, DH is looking at a major career shift that would change his commute dramatically. We have 2 sets of aging parents (his especially) who will be reliant on us and that may force us to move back to our home state (neither of us want to but I think it may be necessary, something DH just refuses to address). We just stopped paying for daycare and I’d like to use that savings to save up more money for a house. Whenever I bring all this up, DH burrows in and blames all this on my never really wanting a house anyway. Which isn’t true, but he can’t give me any good reason to make this huge move other than him really wanting to.
Our biggest issue is that DH is very conflict avoidant so when I want to discuss this, he shuts down or gets resentful. I’ve worked really hard (including in therapy, which he refuses to do with me) to make sure I wasn’t protesting because of my own reluctance with house ownership, and I’m constantly trying to see his side of things but we’re in a place now where I really don’t think it’s the right time and he won’t talk to me about it to make me feel otherwise, and I have no idea what to do other than just constantly being the bad guy.
What do you all do when you’re stuck like this, especially on a major decision like this? Any ideas for what I can do here?